Posts by happpyexjw

54

call me lucky...everyone i have met here was real.....but one...

by oompa in

jw
friends

so be careful.......there may be one out of ten.....or a hundred or a thousand......... and even the unreal one was pretty real....but had major issues..............oomps.

we are a very small club......compared to udders..........

happpyexjw

I agree with those who simply don't live in the right area to attend. I am 125 miles from the nearest interstate in the far SE corner of Colorado, but maybe someday I will get to one.

21

Mixed feelings about being shunned today.

by loosie in

well it happened today.

i got shunned in big lots today.

i am not df'd or da'd just inactive for 4 years.

if a child abuser wants to get reinstated

by looloo in

would he have to admit to all he was accused of but denied in court concerning various witnesses , acouple of them are jws so could they possibly get them all together in the same room ?

the two victims are now in thier 30s and if so couldnt it open up a can of worms for them if he admitted to the offences that were more serious than the ones he had admitted to and got a prison sentence for ?

or do you think they would just tell him not to bother coming back because of the shame he has brought on the congregation , surely he wouldnt be allowed back if he did not admit all he had done , does anyone know ?.

happpyexjw

Looloo, I wanted hold my breath waiting for any kind of justice from the congregation in this matter. The molester of my girls admitted his wrongdoing and there were many others who also were molested as well. He was lovingly counseled by the JC and that was it. Nothing happened.

9

Does anyone remember the singer/songwriter Lori Lieberman? "Killing me softly with his song"

by coffee_black in

jw
friends

was feeling a bit nostalgic this morning.

thought of an old college classmate of mine, lori lieberman, who wrote the lyrics for "killing me softly with his song".

it was recorded by roberta flack.... anyway... thought i'd share... this is lori singing that song...which also appeared on her own album.. her website is here:.

happpyexjw

I have always loved that song. Roberta Flack's version of it gives me goosebumps.

10

Dinner and alcohol - what will happen next

by rockmehardplace in

last night, i had a friend over for dinner.

nothing major, just ordered a pizza and talked a good bit about his business, family, vacations coming up.

nothing really from a spiritual aspect, which was fine by me.

happpyexjw

This is a very good thread. I think a lot of us have some fear at first when we throw off the shackles. When I first left at age 40, I had been "in" since age 9. I used to say the dubs kept me out of trouble as a kid, but as time goes on I no longer think that's true. I was basically a good kid and just was never inclined to get into any trouble. When I first left I was a little afraid of my new freedom, and I tried out some new things, but really, I didn't do anything really foolish.

I think a lot depends on how quickly you can develop new friends and get a feel for what the "world" is really like. We were all taught that the world is a scary, lawless, drug and sex-wild place and so that's what we expect when we get out there. The truth is that while that stuff exists, there are far more normal, decent folks out there who just want to have a good life. Unfortunately, the WT leaves us all a bit socially inept and it can take time to replace the "friendships" we had on the inside. I was never DF'd or DA'd, but I immediately cut myself off from almost everyone because I knew it would tough to break free from the organization. The most important thing for me turned out to be making new friends and developing my own interests.

Undercover, your friend may have gone back to get some control in his life, but I'm not convinced he'll stay in. Maybe he just needs to get his bearings for a while. I suppose he could drop you in the fat and tell on you, but I doubt it.

9

i approached the child molester that abused my daughter

by looloo in

i heard that he was out of prison and wanted to say a few things to him that i never did get chance to say during the investigation and court process (for obvious reasons ) his jw wife and family support him despite knowing he had abused other kids in the congregation and he is a disfellowshipped person (he was disfellowshipped for an affair , not child abuse) what annoyed me amongst many things he said was the fact that a jw was with him in his work setting that does not work there and he is not related to the man , so he was obviously just socialising with him despite knowing what he went to prison for , and he is the son in law of an elder !

so how come jws are allowed to mix with non family convicted child molesters that are also disfellowshipped but my hub is no longer welcome in his parents home after being disfellowshipped for years.

this has all happened around the same time , maybe other jws have been upset about seeing the child molester mixing with jws and everyone local has had to suffer , any ideas on this strange situation?

happpyexjw

First Looloo, my heart goes out to you. Like many others on this board I have been touched by the WTs sick policies regarding child sexual abuse. Two of my daughters were molested by their paternal grandfather, as were numerous others which came to light after we reported what had happened to our children. This man recently died, so in some ways, this chapter has finally closed to a certain extent - at least we know he will never molest anyone again. (BTW he received a full witness funeral as a member in good standing and according to those who were there, he will be in paradise some day) I have spent the past 26 years waiting for this man to die, so I could stop worrying about other children. I cannnot imagine what it is like for you and your family to have this creep out on the loose. At least your creep went to prison - mine never received any kind of punishment, ever, not even from the congregation.

It is true that policies like those you describe in your post create terrible miscarriages of justice in the congregations. It does not seem to matter how serious the charges are when these cases are considered, and the safety of the children is handled as a minor consideration. I agree that being disfellowshipped for smoking while a child molester who is sent to prison is not, is totally outrageous! Unfortunately, we have the same kind of imbalance in the criminal justice system at times. Here in the states, a mentally ill woman who was convicted of prostitution received a 27 month sentence and died in custody recently because she was left ouside in a concrete cell with no shade for four hours in 104 degrees. On the other hand, we have had cases were parents have had children die due to gross neglect and they have received probation. Where is the justice in that?

The draconian rules that are used by judicial committees (under the direction of the WTS) and the fact that each congregation forms its own committees comprised of men (no women to add balance) who are often uneducated and ham-handed, with no experience in dealing with these issues, results in gross injustice in many cases. I have known some elders who are kind and really try to do the right thing, but I have also known many others who were mean spirited and arrogant, full of pride and enjoying their power. This is what has driven many people away from the WT. Your in-laws are merely carrying out the rules that have been hammered into them by the organization's leaders. Like all other faithful witnesses, they have given up their right to think for themselves and are allowing others to do it for them. Some of us who are now out have done the same thing in the past and looking back we have many regrets about how we have handled certain things in our lives - I know I do.

I am happy to hear that your family loves and accepts your husband. He is fortunate to have them and you in his life. The scorn of those good Christians who shun him is extremely hurtful and at times very confusing, as in the case with his parents. Continue to love and support him, and if you haven't already, get some counseling for your daughter. Depending on how old she was when she was assaulted, the worst of the damage doesn't manifest itself until the teen years. Keep an eye on her and get her help if you see any signs of depression, sleeplessness, anger, etc.

All the best to you,

Mary

82

Sending Out a Letter to My JW Daughter - Give Me Your Thoughts Please

by flipper in

jw
friends

some of you probably read my jw daughter's letter to mrs. flipper and me a few weeks ago where she tried explaining to mrs. flipper why she doesn't have anything to do with me ( says i talk negative towards the organization ) .

in that letter though she showed some flashes of her authentic, kind personality and told us she loves us.

but much of the letter was proselytizing to us about how bad the system is and how jeovah will bring a paradise, etc.

happpyexjw

Mr. Flipper, will you and the Mrs. please adopt me? Wow! What a beautiful letter - I think you should mail it just as it is. I would love to receive a letter like that. I hope it helps you to reach her heart.

Mary

24

O how life changes after 5hr jc...thank simon for my jwd friends!!!!

by oompa in

jw
friends

thank simon not god...started to say thank god....trying to avoid that like saying "in the truth"...."worldy"....those two are hard to break........but still.....giving up on what was a good marriage is a bitch....and i am not done yet....some of my now close jwd friends had mates that came out pretty fast.......some not.......i am of the not variety.

the one in thing one out is such a tightrope to walk and it takes a toll on both partners.

i think she would be so much happier without me...but she really loves me deeply.....unfortunately she also has the false hope her prayers will be answered and i will serve jah again........damm this is tough......thanks all...esp st. ann...i called you today, but no answer...did not leave message.

happpyexjw

OOmpa....No fair - tell the rest of us what happened!

116

Show-down with elder at the kingdom hall

by Hobo Ken in

jw
friends

this is podcast 8 in the death or obedience series.. this was recorded on christmas day 2008.. after our last visit from two local elders my wife felt she could no longer be known as a jehovah's witness and had chosen to disassociate herself in november 2008.. we had been on a family holiday and had returned to find that one of the local elders who had visited us had warned off my mother-in-law from having anything to do with my wife - her daughter.

he also made false statements about one of my children.. i decided to confront this elder at the kingdom hall.

this podcast is the recording of our conversation.. notice how he denies making such statements to my mother-in-law and falsely accuses me of teaching her beliefs contrary to jehovah's witnesses.. i ask whether it's a sin to no longer be a jehovah's witness?.

happpyexjw

Frankly, I am appalled that anyone on this board would criticize the way Ken and Lorraine have handled this entire situation. They have kept their composure while under tremendous pressure and have made their exit with their dignity and integrity in one piece - no small thing in my opinion. It's oh so easy to listen to something like this and pick it apart in every little detail from the comfort of your own home. It's quite another to actually be in the situation and "under the gun", having to think and respond under pressure. Everyone has to choose their own way to make their exit. For these folks this was the right way. Who knows - their handling of the situation may well have opened Ann's eyes and made it possible for her to escape too.

To imply that Ken had to come to Lorraine's rescue and confront the elder because she either wouldn't or couldn't do it, is hogwash. She obviously has the courage to stand up for herself. What is wrong with a husband or wife standing up for their mate? I say good for both of them.

Ken and Lorraine you have guts, intelligence and integrity and we thank you for sharing these podcasts. These turkeys are no doubt shaking in their boots, knowing that they have been exposed for the liars and ruthless lackies they are. Good for you!

31

does anybody remember "marking?"

by stillin in

for a while there was this arrangement, based on 2thess:3:14, wherby a talk was given on the service meeting describing a dangerous influence in the congregation, and reference was made to that scripture, thereby indicating to the congregation that this threat exists here, and that you should distance yourselves from anybody fitting that description.

frankly, it bothered me because even if somebody didn't know who was really being referred to, they felt like they might, so the congregation formed little fractures of suspicion.

i wrote to the society because of this divisive effect (that i'm sure wasn't the intended effect; creating a phantom "marked man," breaking up the unity in the cong...etc.).

happpyexjw

Oh yeah, I remember. This was used as a club by some of the more self-righteous, gossipy ones in my cong. I had forgotten about this little gem!