Cadellin

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Posts by Cadellin

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  53

  Help me...

  by rafreuter in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i wish this weren't the way i greeted the board.

  i've been lurking here for about 2 years now, but was unable to really interact because of limitations of my ipod browser (you can't post from there) and the parental controls on my computer.. .

  well 2 years later, i'm a big boy, turned 18 and moved out.

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  Cadellin

  Welcome, cherrypye! (Ok, I know that's supposed to be a pizza but I think it looks like a delectable one-crust cherry pie!)

  We'd love to hear your story, if/when you want to share.
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  53

  Help me...

  by rafreuter in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i wish this weren't the way i greeted the board.

  i've been lurking here for about 2 years now, but was unable to really interact because of limitations of my ipod browser (you can't post from there) and the parental controls on my computer.. .

  well 2 years later, i'm a big boy, turned 18 and moved out.

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  Cadellin

  Raf: If you need to go home, then do so. You're in the process of developing your adult identity and if making peace with your parents is necessary, then it's necessary. Some of the most comforting words I encountered as I was leaving the "truth" (HA!) were these: "There is no wrong way to leave a cult." I think Steve Hassan said that, but I might be wrong.

  Just remember that it's probably not "forever" and your whole, wonderful, shining life stretches before you...Please, let us know how things are going. We'll be here.
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  85

  Leolaia: Where is your story?

  by pirata in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i looked through your posts but couldn't find your life story.

  have you written it?.

  i would love to read your progression from/through jw to avid scholar :).

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  Cadellin

  I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Leo for her willingness to share her scholarly perspective with us on so many Biblical topics, in a way that is both authoritative, credible and yet easy to follow. I, too, have sat in meetings listening as people I love regurgitate information that is outdated, dishonestly presented, distorted or simply wrong, just because it's in print in a WT. It's horrible--sickening, really--especially when you know that speaking up will only make you appear as the evil one. The main factor in my decision to leave the "truth" (HA!) was the WT's pattern of intellectual and editorial dishonesty.

  Thank you, Leo. You're wonderful.
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  53

  Help me...

  by rafreuter in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i wish this weren't the way i greeted the board.

  i've been lurking here for about 2 years now, but was unable to really interact because of limitations of my ipod browser (you can't post from there) and the parental controls on my computer.. .

  well 2 years later, i'm a big boy, turned 18 and moved out.

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  Cadellin

  Raf: Leaving a religion that you've grown up in, especially one as high-control as the WT, is a traumatic experience. Add a coming out to the mix and you've got a recipe for significant emotional and mental stress. Here are a few suggestions:

  1. Get professional counselling. If you're in a public/state college, your tuition pays for an on-campus (read free or low-fee) counselling service. Take advantage of it.

  2. Have you read Ray Franz's Crisis of Conscience? Or Hassan's book on leaving a cult (can't think of the title at the moment--someone help me out)? You'll find that your feelings are shared by almost everyone who leaves. As tec said, you're in mourning for one of the key parts of your life. But it WILL get better, as LL noted.

  3. Get busy reading the experiences of other posters here. You'll find that we all have analogous experiences in some way or another. You're not alone!!

  4. Give yourself time...That's tough for someone still in their teens, especially when you've got the tremendous emotional pull from your parents, who undoubtedly love you. Try to make it clear that your love for them hasn't changed--As you know, JWs mix up love for the org with just about everything else--love for family, for God, etc. You need to parse out these things as separate, unrelated feeings.

  I hope this makes sense. My heart goes out to you...it's tough, but you WILL get through it.
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  46

  The pain got too much so I wrote to my daughter....

  by Lozhasleft in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just wrote a message to my youngest daughter - its been over a year since we were in touch.

  she moved to live with an older sibling and cut off contact with me.

  she's only 17. its been heartbreaking.

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  Cadellin

  Loz and Palm:

  I've been reading this anguished thread and just want to say that my heart goes out to both of you. Being a parent is both the most wonderful thing and this most painful thing imaginable. Don't give up hope, though, either of you, because your children may have their eyes opened one day--after all, we did.
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  98

  SBCheezits Judicial Hearing - My EPIC FAIL (REPOST for IE users)

  by SweetBabyCheezits in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  (note: i apologize to the internet explorer users.

  you probably can't see my first epic fail thread because i used firefox to post.

  there's still some kind of glitch between a plugin i'm running, firefox posts, and ie.).

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  Cadellin

  SBCheezits, thanks for posting all of this--very eyeopening. As far as your question, while I haven't looked it up, I think OTWO is correct. It would be a case of those children receiving "Jehovah's judgment" directly and so, because his judgments are always reflective of perfect justice, no resurrection would be necessary. Yikes! Anyway, hang in there and keep us posted...
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  25

  My Story - Abbreviated but still way too long

  by jamesmahon in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  as i have enjoyed reading everyone elses biogs here i thought it was about time that i put my own down.

  i have thought about why i want to do this and whilst i can pretend it is for the better good and it will act as a warning for others thinking of joining the witnesses, actually i think it is because i think it is just because it makes an interesting story and as will become apparent a good part of my life i had to live a lie and i now find it really liberating just to be really open with everyone.. i also thought about how to write it.

  was tempted to write it to the tune of the fresh prince but thought that might get a bit tough after about verse 38. then wondered whether i should do it in the style of one of those biography pieces in the awake but that would involve reading an awake to mimic the style and just couldnt be bothered.

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  Cadellin

  Jamesmahon: Thank you for posting this. Wow! Reads like the synopsis to a very gripping novel. You've been through it all (almost) and I think it's amazing you've turned out as normal and well-balanced as you have (well, as you sound like!) Good for you for keeping it together through more than your share of encounters with loonies.
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  29

  Watching them FADE in an other way

  by Darth plaugeis in

  1. social
  2. family

  my father was a cop for 30+yrs.

  he was a tuff and ruff cop.

  his sence of humor was awsome.

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  Cadellin

  Darth, I'm so sorry--my heart goes out to both you AND your father.

  Please stay strong--you sound like a good son. You also are aware that there's a strong genetic component to this terrible disease--take steps now to prevent it happening to you. I recommend turmeric capsules. Seriously.
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  43

  new here

  by seenitall in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  new here, but have followed this site from the very start.

  as my name states, i have seen it all.

  former elder, bethelite, po, ms, 4th gen and still active as pub.

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  Cadellin

  Welcome, seenitall--great and interesting posts! Please, keep sharing your tidbits. I'm familiar wtih the g-job routine--most Bethelites LOVED picking up one or two here and there--was the only way many of them could EVER get home for a visit.
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  54

  Introducing myself

  by Jeremy430 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm mostly here to meet new like minded friends.

  growing up in the religion has jaded my perspective.

  most of my believes the wts is bs, but there is that part in the back of my mind that fears they have the truth.

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  Cadellin

  Welcome, Jeremy and Cook My Socks (love that name)

  First, it takes a lot of courage to come here when you're active, esp. Cook as an elder, b/c all the warning bells are going off in your mind and you feel like someone is going to break in at any moment and grab you by the arm and say, "Aha! Spiritual Porno!!" But, beneath the alarm, there's been a part of you that's been standing back now, for some time, just shaking his head and saying, "Something ain't right here," and finally you can't take it any longer and you've got to find out.

  Cook, be prepared for shock and awe. I'm a born-in in my mid-forties and when I started to learn the truth about the truth, I spent a lot of time crying (okay, I'm a mermaid, after all) and when I wasn't crying, I was furious at how the WT had manipulated information to suit their own agenda. Needless to say, it's not a good time emotionally. On top of that, ALL my family is in and super-strong. Laughably, I was always that way myself, pioneering, Bethel, etc. You will get through it, you will find a way to cope. Reading other's experiences is incredibly helpful because you'll find very quickly that everything you've been feeling (1) has been experienced by at least one other person and probably numerous others and (2) is completely justified. For me, it was a huge relief to find that I wasn't, in fact, crazy.

  Peace to both of you. I look forward to reading your stories if and when you're ready (btw, actually telling your story has a strong, therapeutic value.)