I wish this weren't the way I greeted the board. I've been lurking here for about 2 years now, but was unable to really interact because of limitations of my iPod browser (you can't post from there) and the parental controls on my computer.
Well 2 years later, I'm a big boy, turned 18 and moved out. Left a note of disassociation and said good riddance.
Best decision of my life, right? Well, no. I've only just moved out Monday and I can't sleep. Food doesn't taste the same. I can't focus in school and I miss my family regardless of whether or not they accept me. You see, I left because I'm gay and understood totally that's not accepted within the organization. Upon finding this out, i began to question the organization and it's supposed inspired knowledge and "food at the right time." I thought, "If the organization truly believes that homosexuality is a choice (which anyone who is gay definitely knows it is not) then how could they be so sure about everything else?" and the rest is basically history. Prophecy failures, doctrinal flaws, the generation teaching, to name a few.
But now that I've crossed my Rubicon, I can't help but feel I'm slowly dying on the inside. I moved in with a Family that is caring, i have the best friends in the world to support me, so I'm running out of things to fill the void. I'm considering going back even if that means I have to lull myself back to sleep in regards to the flaws of the organization. At this point, suprresing my sexuality doesnt even sound so bad. What's freedom if I'm not happy? I just can't help but feel like Winston at the end of 1984...
So I guess what I'm asking for is pros and cons of moving back which essentially involves being a witness. Is this just something I'm going to have to deal with for a bit? Or is it always like this?
Thanks in advance.