I had doubts for a long time...ever since I was a kid, really. But having the information online to read, reading other people's experiences, learning the history of the WTBTS, those things are what actually clinched it for me. I KNEW there was something rotten in Denmark, I just couldn't find the source of the smell until I started searching online.
Morbidzbaby
JoinedPosts by Morbidzbaby
-
66
Was The Internet The Clincher For You To Mentally Leave The Organization?
by minimus ini think it was for me.. i knew a lot of the history of the bible students, russell, rutherford and the "old light".
.
once i could see all of the overwhelming evidence right in front of my eyes, there was no ignoring the reality..
-
-
-
8
Why do Elders move to the most expensive area to live, WHO CAN'T AFFORD IT?
by AvocadoJake inwhy do elders are dead broke, move to the highest priced areas in the usa.
in california, we welcome many broken families who are not afraid to work or find a way to live without telling the flock, "we are broke, we might file bk, can you please help us find a home, i am a fulltime servant of god, so can you?
" they complain how they are so broke, "can't make the rent or make if off the food stanmps they get" yet they move to an area where the average home is $900k after the great real estate meltdown.
-
-
Morbidzbaby
I've posted before about a sister in a congregation I attended growing up. She was a total nomad. She'd move somewhere with her kids in tow, mooch off the congregation, and then move on...only to move back years later and do the same thing all over again. And she wasn't moving to places that were cheaper to live, either. She'd move, the congregation wherever she was would take her in and give her things, repair her car for free, etc. She was a single mother, after all. She seemed to always find the soft-hearted sisters to leech off of. She didn't want to work, so she was always on state assistance wherever she went. She got child support as well. She would take junk from the side of the road (like wicker furniture), spray paint it, and then try to sell it to the friends for 4 times what it was worth in the first place when it was new. And these were the people who were helping her to move, to take care of her kids, to fix her car, etc. Every time she moved, the congregation would throw her a going away party, complete with lots of cash to help her wherever she was going. This was in EVERY congregation!
When she came back to our area about 15 years ago, the friends were wise to her. They didn't really help her a lot, my own parents got sick of her using them, so about 5 years later, she announced she was moving out of state again. She gave a date for the move, and once again, she got a going away party. Only this time, she didn't go. She kept the money she was given and just stuck around. A while later, she announces again that she's "moving to _____". Said she met a brother and was totally in love with him and that's where he lived and they were going to get married. Another going away party commenced. She didn't go away. Turns out this brother didn't like her at all and she was mistaking his friendship for something more. This happened ONE MORE TIME before the friends finally said enough. When she announced for the fifth time that she was moving, nobody batted an eyelash and nobody gave her a thing. That was about 7 years ago. She finally went away and she hasn't been heard from since.
Seems to me that the nature of the JW's wanting to only help their own kind works against them greatly when it comes to being taken in by users. "We have to help our brothers and sisters", "We have to look after widows and orphans", etc. What if the widows are clearly using you? What if your "brothers and sisters" are just suckling at the congregation teat because they CAN?
On the other hand, we were always admonished to keep our eye simple...but yet there were these supposed "examples" to the congregation, the elders, who would have these huge expensive houses, work all kinds of hours at their secular job, drive expensive cars, have the latest gadgets and electronics, etc. And then when they lost their jobs and had all these bills to pay, their pioneer wives had to *GASP!* get a JOB!!! Or they'd mooch off of their working children. If they would have just followed the same admonition that we were ALL given and they drove into our heads, this wouldn't happen.
-
6
Should I Return?
by Darth Rutherford inwe all are at different stages in our journey from the watchtower organization.
some of us have been free for years, and some of us are at that moment of initial discovery.
as for me, though i began to conscientiously fade just a few months ago, my discovery actually began years ago - even while serving as an elder.. i have no illusions that this journey will be easy.
-
-
Morbidzbaby
I have had the same doubts in the past. I wondered if it might be easier to just talk to the elders and let them "encourage me" and then return to the fold. In truth, it would have been easier in some ways. I wouldn't have to deal with my ex not trusting anything I say or do because I was still an active JW and he could hold the threat of the elders over my head. I wouldn't have to lose so-called friends. I wouldn't be alone.
But, in actuality, the lonliest I have ever felt in my life has always been at the Kingdom Hall. I never felt "refreshed" when I left. It was more a feeling of mental exhaustion. The only positive aspect of the meetings was spending the entire time looking forward to the possibility of joining some "friends" afterward at a restaurant! THAT was when I had fun and enjoyed myself. But should I go against my own conscience, my own heart, and sit through 10 meetings just because I get to possibly go out with people 5 times? That's like asking if I should endure 10 beatings because after 5 of them I'll get some ointment on my wounds. It makes no sense. So I walked away from the beatings.
Dealing with the elders is not easy for a lot of people. Some here have had to have cease and desist orders put on them because of their harrassment. I thankfully didn't have to go to such lengths. I had to deal with repeated phone calls which were from an "Unknown Caller" or I didn't recognize the number. When I didn't answer, they wouldn't leave a message. I only figured out who it was after a week of the same number calling 4 times a day and the elder FINALLY left a message. There was only once that they caught me off-guard over the phone, calling under the ruse of asking for my Field Circus time and then launching into a schpiel about coming back to meetings. After some rather "unscriptural behavior" on my part, they started calling to "meet with me". Other times, they would just show up without calling and knock on my door. They did catch me a few times that way, but I always made a show of being too busy. They came one time before I had to go to work (like an hour before lol) and I told them I had to go to work in a few minutes. They insisted we talk for a bit. I told them "No, I really don't have the time, but thanks for your concern". They tried to pin me down on a day and time they could come by. I told them my schedule is all over the place, sometimes I'm here, sometimes I'm not, I'm working 2 jobs, and on my weekends I'm never here at all". I'm pretty sure that was the last time they attemtped to speak to me privately.
Now, to be fair, there were a couple of these elders that I truly loved. They had become like family. They weren't the pompous overlords I had known in my childhood growing up in the org. These men genuinely cared. But, I couldn't take the chance of talking to them and then be labelled an apostate. I couldn't take the risk of getting disfellowshipped at that time. I wish that one elder in particular could have been reasoned with alone. He was new on the "Governing Body's Task Force" and was a very kind and meek man. I wish I could have talked some sense into him so he could have gotten his wife and kids out. They were a very nice and loving family (converts, not born-ins).
The only way I truly escaped the hounding was to move out of the territory. Quite a few here have had success with that. No one knows them, no one knows their past, they can celebrate what they want, put up decorations(if that's what they want), and be truly free.
Going back only seems easier when you're desperate for the hounding to stop. But there are ways to stop it without going back. You just have to be either creative or patient...or both.
-
59
Anyone Feeling the Holiday Spirit Yet??
by charlie brown jr. ini know every year it seems to come earlier and eariler............ yet must admit ......... this week on my 3 am ride to work i'm listening to x-mas songs on the radio instead of zeppelin................. and smiling............... tis the season............. and haven't had turkey yet!!!
!.
-
-
Morbidzbaby
LMAO @ Holiday Active Force!!!
I'm totally feeling it! I am itching to put up the tree! We bought the lights and baubles this evening, the tree will be purchased on Tuesday, and I'm going to TRY to hold out until Thanksgiving to put it up, but I don't know if I can! It's my FIRST Christmas tree and my FIRST Christmas and my FIRST Christmas with my bf. I'm EXCITED!!! I bought a pointsettia the other day. I already got his big present on layaway (he's getting the Xbox Kinect), now I have to get his smallish present. I'm going to also get 2 stockings for us and 5 mini stockings for our pets and paint all our names on them with puffy glitter paint. We're also going to have an ornament made with all our kids' names on it and the year. We will be doing that every year as a tradition, along with getting an ornament for us every year.
I made 4 of my pets some Thanksgiving-themed hammocks. They're SO CUTE!! But after next week, I need to switch to Christmas. Yes...I'm THAT BAD lol.
Oh...and last week I changed my cell phone ringtones to Christmas themes lol. Right now, they're from A Christmas Story (favorite Christmas movie lol). My text message ringtone is of Darren McGavin (the dad) saying "Fraaa-geee-laaay...it must be Italian!" and the main ringtone is from the scene in the Chinese restaurant with the guys singing Deck the Halls (with boughs of horry, fa-ra-ra-ra-ra ra-ra-ra-ra lol).
-
34
More rancid meat lovingly provided by the F&DS
by serenitynow! inin the 2/15/2012 koolaid there is an article about finding happiness in a divided household.
i found this to be particularly offensive: .
"when facing a challenge, it is important to seek scriptural counsel from publications of the faithful and discreet slave class and from the elders.
-
-
Morbidzbaby
OMG... *sigh* You know, my parents are one of those "I waited on Jehovah and my mate came into da Troof" stories. My father studied when I was very little and then didn't want to hear it. It was only when I was an adult and it was just him and mom in the house that he decided to start studying. My mom is now the "shining example" of waiting on Jehoober and people tell new ones with unbelieving spouses aaaaaall about their "encouraging story".
Honestly? My theory is that my dad finally succumbed to over 25 years of constant brainwashing...coupled with the fact that now it was just them alone and she was always GONE, either auxiliary pious-sneering or at meetings or whatnot. I think it was just a way for him to be closer to her at first. And now he's completely in. And I've lost my REAL dad. It's one thing to be raised in it and to wake up and know that the one who raised you in it will stay asleep. It's another thing entirely to watch the father you love slowly "die" and be replaced by the cult personality. My dad has never been judgmental and was always a "live and let live" person. He'd joke about certain things, but it was never anything he wouldn't say jokingly to someone's face. Now he judges everyone...those in "False Religion and Christendom", the "Homos", etc. Hell, he even judges his old self! I knew my dad, but he told me with tears in his eyes that he was a bad person. It sickens me, to be honest.
And it's shit like the above that was posted in a useless rag that perpetuates the idea that if you just stay faithful you can change your mate's mind. In other words, keep at them, keep trying to preach to them, keep shoving our litteratrash down their gullets and EVENTUALLY they will cave in and join us! (or they'll leave your ass...in which case, you're free to re-marry your REAL husband/wife that Jehoober will give you!). And if neither of these things happen, they'll be eliminated with a ball of sulpher at Army-geddon, and then you'll get a PERFECT spouse! Aren't Jehoober's provisions wonderful? How happifying!!!
-
9
jws on facebook talking of getting drunk , and being very nasty about a nice person on tv ! how i miss the "christianity " in that cult !
by looloo in -
-
Morbidzbaby
punkofnice: Honestly, look at the majority of us here. Those zealous bOrgites would never understand what some of us have gone through and continue to go through. They don't get it that they don't live in reality...although the Watchtower will tell them they live in the REAL reality. Spiritual Paradise my arse!
On a side note, I'm starting to realize that FaceBook is really detrimental to some faders. I made a comment about an earthquake that happened not long ago (can't remember which one, though!) and how the JW's will be saying it's a sign of the times and blah blah. It was a comment that I made ON MY STATUS, not someone else's. My mom's sister, who is inactive and has been for YEARS (and who also has grown children who are no longer in the org), jumped on me for it, saying I'm "embarrassing my mother" and that I'm laughing at things I once believed and causing other people to laugh and make fun, too. My sister-in-law jumped to my defense and told her that, basically, it's my page and I can say what I want. My parents don't even GO online at ALL, let alone read my FaceBook. And on top of it, I basically laid it on the line about how I feel about the Watchtower and how their shunning poilicy makes no sense (one of her kids is DF'ed) and told her that my parents won't associate with them because they are inactive and how THAT is unfair because she is my mom's SISTER. I never heard back from her. But I don't doubt that eventually it will get back to my parents or whatnot. And I really don't care.
-
36
Is anyone else getting ready for Christmas?
by juni ini was in the mood today... got the tree cheap (came w/lights), decorations and ribbon for half price and made the bow myself to save money.
i was going to put it aside until after thanksgiving, but couldn't resist completing the project.
i just have to get some fiber fill for "snow" at the base.
-
-
Morbidzbaby
I got my very first ornament the other night! The tree is to follow. I'm basically going kind of "gaudy" lol. I can't WAIT!!! I put BF's big gift on layaway already, and will be getting the smaller ones over the course of the next month (black friday, here I come!). He keeps making fun of me because I'm all goo-goo eyed about Christmas and decorating and I wanna do it NOW! LOL.
-
35
A different kind of "trip".
by LoneWolf inhi, folks,.
for many years my immediate family and i have been messing with stinging insects of all kinds.
in fall (when they are most active), our phones about ring off the hook.
-
-
Morbidzbaby
Love the pics and experience, LoneWolf! That sounds like such an interesting business! I'm one of those rare women that likes bugs and vermin lol. I'm usually the only one who remains calm when they're around. I've been stung by Yellow Jackets and you're right, the sting itches like mad!
still thinking, I love honey bees . I walk up and pet them when they're on the flowers hehe. Years ago I wanted to keep bees, and while there is a lot involved, it seems like such a sweet (no pun intended) hobby. The polinated fruits and veggies are a bonus . There are lots of resources online about the subject.
ETA: There is a site I just looked at about keeping bees in suburbs/cities. He had some really good pointers! http://outdoorplace.org/beekeeping/citybees.htm
-
21
Hello From a Newbie
by AlphaQup2nite ini found this site randomly the other day on an unrelated search, and its nice to find a place where people can discuss a relgion that in house cannot be discussed without either being quoted mantras or a very skewed view of the world.. ok about me.. im a 24 year old taiwanese-american, and i have been raised as a jw from the age of about three to the age of 17, when i unoffically left.
i started to have doubts around age 12, but did what i was supposed to to keep mommy and daddy happy.
my parents are jws, as well as my older 1/2 sister, and my younger sister.
-
-
Morbidzbaby
Welcome!! You'll find that this is a great group of people. Most are ex-Jw's, some are still in because of family but don't believe it anymore, some are of other Christian denominations, a lot are atheist/agnostic, some are Pagan, some are Watchtower apologists (but those aren't very plentiful), and once in awhile, you will run into an active JW who is seeking the REAL truth...we have a wide variety here. This place is fun, informative, encouraging...everything the Kingdom Hall is NOT lol. We all encourage reading whatever you can get your hands on about the religion, as well as whatever subjects interest you. We are open to discussion of a huge variety of topics, and most of us strive to present accurate and truthful information from credible sources. Many of us consider this board our "therapy" when we're exiting and trying to get involved in real life outside of the organization. I know just reading posts from a lot of the members here and their struggles, along with the responses from others, has helped me immensely.
I look forward to getting to know you and helping in any way I can. Again, welcome!!
-
8
How do the friends you have now compare to the Witness friends you had before ?
by troubled mind ini must share my recent experience .
i was raised a witness until i left 6 yrs ago at 44 .
i had lots of good aquantances ,but not one close to my bosom best friend .
-
-
Morbidzbaby
I can completely empathize with you, troubled mind! I had 5 surgeries while I was a JW. In all of them, I had only TWO sisters who came to see me in the hospital...and honestly, I think it was to see the baby more than to see me. I had outpatient surgery twice and missed meetings because of them and didn't get even one phone call. When I was growing up, I used to hear announcements that meals were needed for so-and-so because they were sick/had a death in the family/had a baby. We never got any of that. My mom spend MONTHS in bed, and my brother and I had to fend for ourselves. Nobody cared.
The friends I have now are wonderful. I made easy friends with people at work. They accept me even though I don't believe as they do. I have a very good friend who values my friendship...she's actually my boyfriend's best friend's wife...so we hang out as couples and it's a lot of fun. I can be myself, and they love me for who I am. They are there for us when we need them and vise versa. It's such a difference from the "friends" I left behind. One was my best friend from childhood and I had to stop associating with her simply because I knew she would snitch on me if I even dared to speak against the org...even though she had her own doubts.
I agree...lurkers need to understand that when the Watchtower Society tells you that you will be unhappy and that worldly people will chew you up and spit you out, they are telling you that in order to scare you into staying within the confines of the organization. Plenty of us on this board are living proof that it just isn't true. Sure, there are bad people no matter where you go...but they aren't as plentiful as the Society would have you believe.