Posts by wantstoleave

Yes, it feels like a BIG guilt trip. My dad says that when I feel guilty, its good because my conscience is working. I sometimes regret getting baptised...because if I wasnt baptised, I could leave and my family could still associate with me. But because I was SO afraid of being 'left on the shelf' and being unmarried (another topic in itself!), I rushed to get baptised and to please my parents. I think I DO regret that.

Mybrother is baptised, but hasnt associated for about 5yrs. He lives with his fiance. We all still visit him but I can sense he's not 100% happy. My parents dont push him to come back, but I think my brother feels guilt being around us. He says he believes its the truth, but cant live in it.

It can be a very lonely upbringing being in the truth if you arent accepted by the popular witness young ones. Then at school you're not allowed to associate with 'worldly' ones. Then you have noone. So in my case, when the first man comes along and takes an interest in you, you hold on tight. Only years down the track do you realise that he's not the right person for you and that you were just scared of being alone. Im sure many of you who have been in the truth will know the pressure to get married while young.

Honesty, what do you mean that I wont be scripturally free? I mean, I hope in time I will be...lol. But, in the near future, I dont know. I think just to spite me he'd not sleep with anyone. He is controlling and manipulative in a sly kind of way. Nevertheless, I am divorcing him. Scripturally or not. I havent told the elders that yet. Oops, my bad...LOL!

45

Help - am I on the fence??

by wantstoleave in

jw
friends

please bear with me, newbie here :).

i have had doubts for a few years now.

i was raised in the truth, baptised at 16, married at 24...the usual stuff.

wantstoleave

Please bear with me, newbie here :)

I have had doubts for a few years now. I was raised in the truth, baptised at 16, married at 24...the usual stuff. My marriage was quite hellish to be honest, and then the unthinkable happened, my husband left me with 2 children over a year ago now. As far as the elders tell me, he still attends meetings etc - in another country.

Now, besides it being a horrid year or so, Ive been fighting inner turmoil regards the truth. When husband left, the elders and cong were so helpful and nice. I appreciate all they did to help me. However, I have not been regular at meetings for months now, and have had no shepherding calls. Ive been out witnessing twice in a year. My parents and sister are baptised witnesses. My brother is inactive and living with his fiance.

This is my dilemma and where I wonder how on the fence I am. I doubt the truth is the truth sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if theres a god, HOW could there be? But then how did the earth come about? Being a JW gives us logical explanation for creation etc. BUT, how can every other religion be wrong? How come WE have the truth? Why JW's? And then, IF the end does come, and my jerk off husband makes it through....I dont want him getting our kids, because he's not bothered to contact us at all in over a year. So if I were to die at armageddon, if it came, I wouldnt want my kids going to him. Lol....sound silly? Sorry. I just worry.

Then even if I leave the truth, my parents and sister wont be able to talk to me, yet they are SO much a part of my life. I guess the only thing keeping me 'in' at the moment is 1 - not losing my family and 2 - not letting my ex have the upper hand! If I leave, he can play the 'she isnt a witness' card.

Help please! I need to sort these thoughts out :( And if I talk to my parents about it, they'll only fret. They have lost one child to the world already and dont want to lose another....

40

"One of" Jehovah's Witnesses

by NeonMadman in

any thoughts on that particular phrasing?

personally, i think the wts uses it as another form of mind control.

by calling the individual "one of jehovah's witnesses," it lends a generic feel to the wording.

wantstoleave

On the song bit, you know that theres a NEW song book being made and will be used as of January?

17

Any Aussies about?

by OlderTom in

how about dropping a line on the main board or e-mailing me.

we are organising another bbq and would like to invite you along.. oldertom.

pretty soon we'll have to organise warwick farm race cource for our assemblies.

wantstoleave

Im Aussie :)

4

Anyone here from S.A.??

by TheApostleAK in

anyone here from south australia??.

email me at [email protected]

wantstoleave

Me too :)

11

My witness mum sent a birthday card.

by creativhoney in

well if there is a congregation contest for shunning i am sure my family will win.. only my mother has been friends with a worldy for as long as i remember.

- the lady in question has terminal cancer and so its a good reason for my mum to be a good christian friend.. mums friend is also mine though i am dfd she never took sides, until now its been a year and she didnt think my mother would be capable of carrying out the shuning to this extent.

- she has lost a lot of respect for her.. today mums friend (and mine) phoned me, i asked what she had been up to how she was.

wantstoleave

Xelder makes some good points. Im technically still a witness, but I know many who on their birthday, have a drink or two. I dont and have never associated with them (not in my clique), but they are well respected members of the congregation. Born and raised in the truth, do all the right things on paper. Yet on their birthdays, celebrate a little.

I like how xelder talks about the adoption day and likening it to the day brought home from hospital. There is no difference....

Recently Ive started wishing friends a good day on their birthday. I havent yet gone as far as to say happy birthday, though I long to! So I guess in my heart Ive somewhat made up my mind but Im too scared to follow through. Im so close to my parents and sister that it would break their heart if I left the truth. I have 2 small children, and I know Id get the guilt trip from my parents and that if the kids stayed over, they would be taken to meetings. One of my siblings has been inactive about 5yrs now. He lives with his fiance bus has not been Df. My family still associate with him, though they dont agree with his lifestyle. I hear them talking to others 'oh I wish he'd come back' and 'it breaks my heart', things like that. I can just imagine what would happen if I left the truth.

45

Im new....posting hesitantly :)

by wantstoleave in

hi everyone...i have a confession to make, i actually joined 5mths ago, but never came back to the site.

ive had doubt for a few years now.. my parents came into the truth when i was a toddler.

no other family members are witnesses.

wantstoleave

Hi everyone...I have a confession to make, I actually joined 5mths ago, but never came back to the site. Until now. Ive had doubt for a few years now.

My parents came into the truth when I was a toddler. No other family members are witnesses. Just my parents, and my sister. My husband left me with 2 children over a year ago now and moved to another country. Ive not heard from him since, but my elders tell me he attends meetings and goes witnessing. Yet he shows blatant disregard for the scripture 'a man who doesnt support his own is worse than a man without faith'. Anyway, the point of me being here....my doubts.

Sometimes I just want what 'the world' wants and wonder if Im selfish. Seeing as Ive grown up in the truth. Other times I just dont want the pressure anymore, to attend all meetings and witnessing. I have 2 kids to raise on my own, life is hectic enough. Then theres the thing about being scripturally free. I dont know if I am or not. I know my husband is looking around for someone but he's such a pathological liar, and so secretive, that I know for sure if he did mess around he wouldnt get caught. Which leads me to this bit: even if he did cheat on me, I know he wouldnt fess up. He'd want me to mess up so he could put all the blame on me. Meantime he's playing the field with a heap of girls, this I have proof, but acting all holy and going to meetings.

The stuff I have told the elders, well, they have told me that 'if you'd told us sooner then we could've done something'. Hello, I didnt know til just before I told them! Id found out my husband had been messing around with coworkers, stopping prior to sleeping with them. And I only found out couple months ago, and told the elders. But they came back with 'its too late'. I dont even know if they passed the info on to the elders overseas.

Its all too hard :(

Im not even 30 and living this limbo. He was my first boyfriend. And now we are to be divorced. Yet I wont be scripturally free. Sorry to lump it on you like this, just needed somewhere to rebound my thoughts, instead of my witness family who just tell me 'wait on Jehovah' or 'he will mess up, just wait' or 'you dont need a man'.

26

scripturally free to remarry secret!!!

by asilentone in

i know a brother that was not scripturally free to remarry to the best of his knowledge, his ex wife was disfellowshipped in another state, his ex wife did not contact him letting him know that he is scripturally free to remarry, but the elders at his congregation knew about it, but they chose to keep it a secret from him for whatever reason???.

he did not know about it after one year after the fact!

he learned about it from a brother from another state.

wantstoleave

My husband move to another country and its well over a year now and ive no clue if he has cheated or not, so I am sitting here in limbo...waiting to be scripturally free. It sux!!!!! I never thought the elders would keep information as important as that from the wife/husband. My elders seem very loving toward me and know my ex is a jerk, so I hope IF they find out he has cheated they let me know! But gosh, being in different countries? How on earth can I keep tabs on the jerk? He hasnt spoken to me in over a year. Had no idea he was leaving til he left.