Posts by wantstoleave

29

Thoughts on NOT dating

by wantstoleave in

just throwing some thoughts out there.

wondering if anyone feels the same as i do.

you know, being brought up not being allowed to date until you were 'of marrying age'.

Yes, I'm not sure I'm one for living together before marriage, though I don't think any less of anyone who does. I love the idea of marriage being a lifelong commitment, as being more than a piece of paper. But I think the rules surrounding getting to know your partner are too strict in the religion. Many take it to extremes, for instance my parents. Not letting us sit together or hold hands. We had to steal kisses when noone was looking - and we were engaged! I mean, that's just not right. Yet other witnesses sit with each other, kiss, hold hands and openly show affection from a few weeks after starting to court.

Glad your situation worked for you Angel :)

113

Its not the people on here or wherever

by angel eyes in

jw
friends

i was talking to a baptised friend, and they dont like the idea of me being on here..i told them that ive mentioned it to an elder and that a few know im here,afterall im heeding the warning .

anyway, i explained to them that we are drawn out by our own desire,its whatever is in our heart....... hmmm did that come across ok???

so what im saying is yes negative thoughts or comments whatever we are warned against can harm us but its up to us what we listen to and if our heart is right we shall remain in gods love.

wantstoleave

Hi Angel ((waves))......nice post :)

45

Im new....posting hesitantly :)

by wantstoleave in

hi everyone...i have a confession to make, i actually joined 5mths ago, but never came back to the site.

ive had doubt for a few years now.. my parents came into the truth when i was a toddler.

no other family members are witnesses.

wantstoleave

Have to add too, that between the ages of 19 and 24....my family very rarely came to meetings with me. So, for the best part of 11yrs, I was attending meetings on my own. My brother stopped going when I was about 24. Just after I got married.

45

Im new....posting hesitantly :)

by wantstoleave in

hi everyone...i have a confession to make, i actually joined 5mths ago, but never came back to the site.

ive had doubt for a few years now.. my parents came into the truth when i was a toddler.

no other family members are witnesses.

wantstoleave

Thankyou. I appreciate your kind words :) I think that's how I currently feel, like a faker. Like I'm a witness in name only. And I've never been one to be false, so it doesn't sit well with me. I also think too that I have another problem....I am a baptised witness, yet I don't think I know very much! Lol....thinking back to when I got baptised (at 16), I studied the questions I had to answer and that was it. Up til then I'd been regular on field service, meetings all my life etc.....but I don't think I ever truly grasped anything. So honestly, I don't have much of a head for dates, the bible or general witness knowledge. Shameful isn't it? It's more that I've just grown up to accept this and that.

I find too that when my parents mention Jehovah to my kids, or they come out with 'that's Jehovah's animal' etc....inside I cringe! Up until the past few years I'd NEVER had that feeling before. Then I beat myself up for thinking so disrespectfully of Jehovah. Lol...does that make sense? I know, I know...it's just SO ingrained after all these years. I'm programmed to feel guilty all the time!

There was a time between the ages of 13 and 16 where my family didn't attend meetings. Dad had become pretty ill, so because he couldn't go to meetings, mum slackened off too. Which meant us kids did as well. That went on for a couple of years, then at about 15 I decided I wanted to go back, so got lifts with others to every meeting. I attended meetings on my OWN until I was about 19. It was horrible. I sat alone at each meeting. I had no friends, noone invited me out and then back at home, my family wasn't doing anything spiritual wise. I was sooooo lonely. I remember for a time at about 19 deciding I didn't want to be a witness anymore. I told my mum and brother, they begged me to stay - so I did.

I married at 24......and with my new husband, we only went to a handful of meetings in 4yrs and went witnessing twice. It was during this time I started to really doubt I think. I don't even know if doubt is the right word for what I mean. I guess I just gave up, couldn't be bothered anymore. I liked sleeping in on Saturday after working all week. I liked lazy Sundays. Does that make me a bad person? It sure made me feel bad!

I never remember being bitter about all those years I attended meetings on my own, until now. Because now when I don't want to go to meetings, I've got my mum and dad saying 'are you going tonight' etc or my sister crying when I don't go. Then I have the whole 'fear' thing rush over me, if I'm not going to make it, what will happen to my kids etc etc. And at other times, I doubt it will ever happen at all!

I hope I'm not the only one who has been through these feelings...lol

29

Thoughts on NOT dating

by wantstoleave in

just throwing some thoughts out there.

wondering if anyone feels the same as i do.

you know, being brought up not being allowed to date until you were 'of marrying age'.

wantstoleave

I like that point you make, signing a contract without reading the fine print. Very true.

The chaperone environment I suppose has its protections if you are intent on remaining pure until the wedding night. But besides that, it doesnt really serve any purpose, because there are eyes watching from every angle, and your every move. Those that are shy will find such an environment even more nerve racking knowing others are keeping a close watch. Plus I dont think you ever really see the 'true' person, because when you dont see them everyday, or only at meetings - they can always act their very best!

They say you never really know a person until you live with them, and I believe that to be true. And non witness marriages dont often stand the test of time either, but at least in those relationships they've had the opportunity to get to know each other properly, be alone and not feel like a million eyes are watching their every move...lol.

63

Have you Overcome Guilt & Fear Since Exiting Jehovah's Witnesses ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

minimus had a great thread recently asking if any who were witnesses felt guilt as a jehovah's witness.

thought i would build on that a little dealing with how you have moved on after being a jehovah's witness ?.

one definition of guilt in the american heritage dictionary is : " self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing ".

wantstoleave

I think for the most part I did love Jehovah growing up. But I believe the man made part of the organisation made me question alot of things. Yes man is imperfect, and we have to allow for that....but sometimes they really mess with your head. Ive seen so many things go on over the years within the congregations, either happening directly to me or to those close to me, that I think back on with disgust. I believe I did serve Jehovah for a time out of love but nowdays, maybe I take things for granted or am past caring. I dont really know yet. It will be a long process Im sure.

20

Are 800 new JWs really baptised per day?

by losthusband in

i came across the quote below on a yahoo answers page discussing the growth of religon:.

i'm one of jehovah's witnesses and on average every day 800 people are baptized as jehovah's witnesses.

these are individuals who have studied the bible for a period of time and have to show that they understand, truly believe and want to live by god's standards.

wantstoleave

I would say that yes, maybe on average that many are baptised BUT soooooo many leave each year. So, it kind of evens out I suppose.

8

Need help on how to deal with BIL...

by cognac in

jw
friends

he's a complete a$$ to my sister.

it's sometimes very shocking how much of a jerk he is.

when i say something, i get, "be careful cognac" and he's told me before that there marriage is none of my business.

wantstoleave

What a hard situation. You love your sister so much, but feel helpless to assist her. How strong is she, as in, if he tells her NOT to see you anymore, would she listen to him or stand up to him? You might want to just 'be there for her'. She probably senses the tension between you and him, so it may make it harder on her if you say or do anything.

63

Have you Overcome Guilt & Fear Since Exiting Jehovah's Witnesses ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

minimus had a great thread recently asking if any who were witnesses felt guilt as a jehovah's witness.

thought i would build on that a little dealing with how you have moved on after being a jehovah's witness ?.

one definition of guilt in the american heritage dictionary is : " self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing ".

wantstoleave

I fear the tribulation and armageddon...always have, even when at my most zealous! I remember being a 3 or 4yr old, waking at night to a storm, and thinking it was armageddon. Im sorry, but kids that age should NOT have to fear like that. And now at almost 30, I still fear it. I HATE thinking Ill never be a good enough witness, will never measure up. I feel on the fence and its limbo at its worst. Am I in or am I out? I wish I could answer that myself....then I wouldnt feel so bad.

60

Ex jw wife

by sspo in

i find it interesting that i posted about 16 days ago concerning whether i should write a letter and.

allow my ex wife to be free and marry.. saturday night she called out of the blue ( maybe there is a god upthere looking down) after 3 years of not talking to her and she wants to meets.. we met last night and after small talk about how we are both doing and family stuff, she asked me if i would write a letter.

freeing her or releasing her from our marriage without admitting adultery, since i don't believe in the bible anymore,.

wantstoleave

Coffee, your situation sounds like what mine could be like. My husband left me over a year ago, went to another country. Ive not heard from him since. He's still 'in the truth' however, playing the wholesome 'woe is me' card. Ive been faithful, yet we will be legally divorced next month - not scripturally. I know he's been dating.......and I know he will let others assume I have given him scriptural grounds, but I havent. How did you overcome your ex doing that?

Gosh, what a pickle the Org. puts everyone in.