Sorry for my ignorance, Im a babe to all this, but why was it part of the UN to start with? I assume other religions are? If so, then it was just 'normal' for JWs to be also? I am trying to understand the topic as best I can lol. What purpose would it serve being part of the UN? And then subsequently not being part of it?
wantstoleave
JoinedPosts by wantstoleave
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128
JanesyHull
by jookbeard inare you popping in tonight, wondering if we could continue our little chat from friday night?.
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wantstoleave
If there was no shunning, there would probably be hardly any JWs left. I believe its fear of shunning that keeps many in the religion.
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Do nice people who leave the truth have more friends?
by wouldacouldashoulda inhi posters.
something has really been bothering me a lot lately.
in a nutshell i faded about 4 years ago.
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wantstoleave
I had a similar upbringing to Ada in that we werent considered spiritually strong enough to get invites from fellow witnesses, yet we werent allowed to have 'worldly' friends either. So, we had noone but each other and that can get pretty old very fast...lol. You feel like an outcast within your own religion which is meant to be loving and inclusive. Yet when you go to assemblies, meetings and field service, you dont have anyone to hang with. It was a VERY lonely existence. I believe it to be one of the reasons my brother left in fact. I too would have gone sooner if I wasnt so scared of dying at Armageddon and fear of my parents shunning me.
I agree with alot of the posters here. Try and make some networks around you. Through work/school or whatever it is that you do. Are there any social groups you can join locally? Maybe a walking group? Games nights? Hobby groups?
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JanesyHull
by jookbeard inare you popping in tonight, wondering if we could continue our little chat from friday night?.
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wantstoleave
Thanks for the link. Why did they disassociate themselves from the UN? Maybe Im just too new to all of this to grasp how disassociating themselves is a big issue?
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My sister died in a head on collision last night
by Bumble Bee ini still can't believe it.
she was here for the bbq, we had an awesome time, laughing, her telling stories from our childhoods.
i gave her a hug and told her i loved her before she left.
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wantstoleave
Im sooooo sorry :( This breaks my heart. Did your mother really make that comment about birthdays when you called? Or you thought she would? Sorry, didnt quite understand that part. I feel so badly for you. As if losing your sister wasnt enough, your mum making you feel guilty was a low blow :(
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JanesyHull
by jookbeard inare you popping in tonight, wondering if we could continue our little chat from friday night?.
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wantstoleave
White Dove, what is the UN secret involvement? Sorry to just jump in on the thread like that lol. Curious is all :)
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Help - am I on the fence??
by wantstoleave inplease bear with me, newbie here :).
i have had doubts for a few years now.
i was raised in the truth, baptised at 16, married at 24...the usual stuff.
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wantstoleave
I dont think my mum is strong enough to call it quits. She'd be more of a 'fader' than anything else. But I will definitely think about it. Thanks Chris :)
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living in a bubble
by inbetween inlast weekend we were invited at a family of jw.. they are some decent people, reasonable, realistic, balanced, having good jobs and a house, certianly took care of their future pension, and will give their child a good education.. you can discuss with them many different topics, and they are not blind to mistakes of brothers or even the leaders.... however, they are dubs, both being raised in the "truth", they dont know anything else really..... we have quit a number of friends like that, being down to earth, not extreme, have a good life, and still "strong" in their faith.... the other day, we also did a congregation-trip, and while you find everywhere some selfrighteous puffed-up "pioneer", "wannabe-elders" or real"elders" or "elderettes", most of the folk was fine, no worry about anybody behaving badly, getting drunk or something like that.. i was thinking, it wouldnt be so bad to be a witness, if...... yes, its the "if" that makes one worry., the mind-control thing of the gb.. anybody going through similar thoughts ?.
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wantstoleave
I guess being 'in' the 'truth' has its comfort factor. You tend to trust those around you more easily. You can associate with the knowledge that nothing 'questionable' will arise. And after all, its the only thing most of us know...so its comfortable. Its all we know. We are taught to have faith and not question, not to use our brains. To wait on Jehovah. To comply and humble ourselves. If we question, we are bad. If we pursue higher education, we are looked upon as weak and on the fence. If we arent in this clique and that, then we're weird or snobby. Nowdays, at least in my state, if you finish highschool even, you are not looked upon favourably. We are told to get a trade, get a part time job and enter the full time ministry. And that if we dont, we dont have the correct mindset. I for one never wanted to be a pioneer, nor was I willing to settle down and be a stay at home wife/mother/pioneer. I aspired to more and I succeeded. Got my college degree, married and then had babies.
Do I think there are any positives to being in the truth with 'nice' people...yes....but there are nice people everywhere. Ive always thought that. Ive never judged anyone. We are all people, no matter what race, gender, sexuality or religion.
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Does marriage work
by wouldacouldashoulda inhi posters.
in the uk 50% of marriages fail.
maybe around half of those who stay married are not really that happy.. .
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wantstoleave
JW wise, they marry too young. WAY too young. I would estimate that most marry because they want sex and would rather get married then have premarital sex and be counselled for it. That would bring much shame and embarrassment. Soooo, they find someone, spend 1 day a week together, dont touch and steal kisses when they can. On average they are engaged after 3mths and married within the year. Thats my area anyway. Because I didnt have a boyfriend in my teens, I was looked at as 'weird'. I was far more interested in pursuing my education than to be tied down to a man with the 'hope' of marrying and producing babies and being at home all day. Not that theres anything wrong with that, but unfortunately, thats what most JW females look forward to.
As for marriage, I have faith in it, just that mine didnt work due to a lousy good for nothing man. But thats for another time and discussion :)
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Help - am I on the fence??
by wantstoleave inplease bear with me, newbie here :).
i have had doubts for a few years now.
i was raised in the truth, baptised at 16, married at 24...the usual stuff.
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wantstoleave
Wow thanks everyone :)
Ill try and answer as much as I can....
Baba you make great points, you're right, my brother is NOT hurting my parents. They just think he is. Yes, he is a VERY good human being. Everyone loves him, he is such a lovely person. He leads a very wholesome life.
As for the blood issue, I have not thought about it to be honest. I dont think Im that far ahead yet...lol. But I do remember when one of my children was very sick as an infant, and the blood issue coming up. I was crying to my mum about the possibility of us losing baby. She said to me 'you do what YOU need to do...dont worry about anything. It can be sorted out later'. In other words, she was telling me 'if you want baby to have blood - do it'. I sense that my mum has always been somewhat on the fence.
Some news for you all :)
Today I was whinging to my parents about being in 'limbo' because I am not scripturally free. My mum was agreeing with everything I said. Dad had his head bowed. He is a humble man, doesnt like to rock the boat. I guess I started sounding too critical of the 'rules' we must follow regards divorce etc because dad piped up 'I cant save you. You may as well hand in your resignation now because you're dead'.
He didnt say it meanly. I think he said it out of fear. Like he knows no better. 'The truth' has been his life for so long, he cant be criticised for knowing no other words. Mum told him off....lol. She said he was jumping to conclusions, that I wasnt leaving. I just sat there shaking my head.
I told them both some of the experiences from this site (but didnt mention where I got the info) and mum was ropeable. She said how the organisation is so geared towards men. We all know this to be true. I think my mum knows Im on the fence. The other day she was telling a sister how she's already lost one child and doesnt want to lose another, and that she's scared I'll be next. Plus she's been the one Ive confided in in the past when Ive had doubts. I suspect it is a burden for her, worrying about me. But as has been brought out, who are we really kidding? Only ourselves.