wantstoleave

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Posts by wantstoleave

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  54

  Back Again about Disfellowshipment.... Please Help!!

  by Butterflyleia85 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  ok so i'm doing alot better by going on this website and message board... everyone is so incouraging and wise!

  i'm really happy but struggling.. i look at this website and i am down again..... http://www.watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm.

  if someone can pick at this and help me deal with being disfellowshiped please do so.... i know alot of you are going to be like duh will don't go to jw website or stay away from it.

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  wantstoleave

  This topic has been really insightful....Im thanking you all for the responses, as a newbie Im learning alot!

  Flipper....wow....what horrible things you've been through!! Good on you for taking a stand. Id never heard of circumstantial fornication until you mentioned it. Seems I have alot to learn.

  Butterfly...are your family witnesses? I find it so sad that given you were repentant, you were still DF. Thats just awful. And not loving at all.

  I was before a JC once. For nothing major, but before one nonetheless. To this day I wonder what those 3 brothers were writing down. And Id love to know what happens to the notes they took. How humiliating it was sitting there being at their mercy for forgiveness.
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  128

  JanesyHull

  by jookbeard in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  are you popping in tonight, wondering if we could continue our little chat from friday night?.

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  wantstoleave

  Sorry for my ignorance, Im a babe to all this, but why was it part of the UN to start with? I assume other religions are? If so, then it was just 'normal' for JWs to be also? I am trying to understand the topic as best I can lol. What purpose would it serve being part of the UN? And then subsequently not being part of it?
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  90

  Reform, can it be?

  by jookbeard in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i like lists.

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  wantstoleave

  If there was no shunning, there would probably be hardly any JWs left. I believe its fear of shunning that keeps many in the religion.
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  18

  Do nice people who leave the truth have more friends?

  by wouldacouldashoulda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi posters.

  something has really been bothering me a lot lately.

  in a nutshell i faded about 4 years ago.

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  wantstoleave

  I had a similar upbringing to Ada in that we werent considered spiritually strong enough to get invites from fellow witnesses, yet we werent allowed to have 'worldly' friends either. So, we had noone but each other and that can get pretty old very fast...lol. You feel like an outcast within your own religion which is meant to be loving and inclusive. Yet when you go to assemblies, meetings and field service, you dont have anyone to hang with. It was a VERY lonely existence. I believe it to be one of the reasons my brother left in fact. I too would have gone sooner if I wasnt so scared of dying at Armageddon and fear of my parents shunning me.

  I agree with alot of the posters here. Try and make some networks around you. Through work/school or whatever it is that you do. Are there any social groups you can join locally? Maybe a walking group? Games nights? Hobby groups?
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  128

  JanesyHull

  by jookbeard in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  are you popping in tonight, wondering if we could continue our little chat from friday night?.

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  wantstoleave

  Thanks for the link. Why did they disassociate themselves from the UN? Maybe Im just too new to all of this to grasp how disassociating themselves is a big issue?
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  164

  My sister died in a head on collision last night

  by Bumble Bee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i still can't believe it.

  she was here for the bbq, we had an awesome time, laughing, her telling stories from our childhoods.

  i gave her a hug and told her i loved her before she left.

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  wantstoleave

  Im sooooo sorry :( This breaks my heart. Did your mother really make that comment about birthdays when you called? Or you thought she would? Sorry, didnt quite understand that part. I feel so badly for you. As if losing your sister wasnt enough, your mum making you feel guilty was a low blow :(
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  128

  JanesyHull

  by jookbeard in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  are you popping in tonight, wondering if we could continue our little chat from friday night?.

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  wantstoleave

  White Dove, what is the UN secret involvement? Sorry to just jump in on the thread like that lol. Curious is all :)
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  45

  Help - am I on the fence??

  by wantstoleave in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  please bear with me, newbie here :).

  i have had doubts for a few years now.

  i was raised in the truth, baptised at 16, married at 24...the usual stuff.

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  wantstoleave

  I dont think my mum is strong enough to call it quits. She'd be more of a 'fader' than anything else. But I will definitely think about it. Thanks Chris :)
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  4

  living in a bubble

  by inbetween in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  last weekend we were invited at a family of jw.. they are some decent people, reasonable, realistic, balanced, having good jobs and a house, certianly took care of their future pension, and will give their child a good education.. you can discuss with them many different topics, and they are not blind to mistakes of brothers or even the leaders.... however, they are dubs, both being raised in the "truth", they dont know anything else really..... we have quit a number of friends like that, being down to earth, not extreme, have a good life, and still "strong" in their faith.... the other day, we also did a congregation-trip, and while you find everywhere some selfrighteous puffed-up "pioneer", "wannabe-elders" or real"elders" or "elderettes", most of the folk was fine, no worry about anybody behaving badly, getting drunk or something like that.. i was thinking, it wouldnt be so bad to be a witness, if...... yes, its the "if" that makes one worry., the mind-control thing of the gb.. anybody going through similar thoughts ?.

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  wantstoleave

  I guess being 'in' the 'truth' has its comfort factor. You tend to trust those around you more easily. You can associate with the knowledge that nothing 'questionable' will arise. And after all, its the only thing most of us know...so its comfortable. Its all we know. We are taught to have faith and not question, not to use our brains. To wait on Jehovah. To comply and humble ourselves. If we question, we are bad. If we pursue higher education, we are looked upon as weak and on the fence. If we arent in this clique and that, then we're weird or snobby. Nowdays, at least in my state, if you finish highschool even, you are not looked upon favourably. We are told to get a trade, get a part time job and enter the full time ministry. And that if we dont, we dont have the correct mindset. I for one never wanted to be a pioneer, nor was I willing to settle down and be a stay at home wife/mother/pioneer. I aspired to more and I succeeded. Got my college degree, married and then had babies.

  Do I think there are any positives to being in the truth with 'nice' people...yes....but there are nice people everywhere. Ive always thought that. Ive never judged anyone. We are all people, no matter what race, gender, sexuality or religion.
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  25

  Does marriage work

  by wouldacouldashoulda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi posters.

  in the uk 50% of marriages fail.

  maybe around half of those who stay married are not really that happy.. .

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  wantstoleave

  JW wise, they marry too young. WAY too young. I would estimate that most marry because they want sex and would rather get married then have premarital sex and be counselled for it. That would bring much shame and embarrassment. Soooo, they find someone, spend 1 day a week together, dont touch and steal kisses when they can. On average they are engaged after 3mths and married within the year. Thats my area anyway. Because I didnt have a boyfriend in my teens, I was looked at as 'weird'. I was far more interested in pursuing my education than to be tied down to a man with the 'hope' of marrying and producing babies and being at home all day. Not that theres anything wrong with that, but unfortunately, thats what most JW females look forward to.

  As for marriage, I have faith in it, just that mine didnt work due to a lousy good for nothing man. But thats for another time and discussion :)