except for the porn...lol
Posts by wavvy
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37What Freedoms Do You Enjoy That You Couldn't As A Witness?
by minimus inas jws, we were in bondage to the organization, its rules and its whims.
now, we do not have to follow their direction and believe that whatever we were being told was by "theocratic" arrangement.. so, what freedoms do you have now that you have been liberated?.
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37
What Freedoms Do You Enjoy That You Couldn't As A Witness?
by minimus inas jws, we were in bondage to the organization, its rules and its whims.
now, we do not have to follow their direction and believe that whatever we were being told was by "theocratic" arrangement.. so, what freedoms do you have now that you have been liberated?.
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wavvy
All of the above! and with a huge smile!
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19
Should I just keep my distance?
by wavvy inreading other people's posts, its obvious that those of us who still have contact with our jw family are constantly bombarded with sick propaganda designed to make us feel guilty and scared.
we are all so happy to be out, yet these contacts with our family revive all the bad feelings.. my parents are always calling me to meet up with them for coffee or something.
i don't want them to be a part of this new life of mine because i don't need that kind of crap all the time.
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wavvy
rebel8 - thanks. I do think my wellbeing is more important than anything. Balance is the key I think. I don't want to push them away from me altogether, but I do think I need to limit my contact with them. My mother is a very pushy woman, always has been. She isn't going to change.
But, the responses to this thread have made me think that just as many of us were scared when we left the dubs about all the bad stuff that was going to happen to us...demon attacks etc, my parents are also worried that this is happening to their little girl. I guess the less they see of me the more they will worry. If I can let them into my life enough for them to see firsthand that:
1. I have not become an alcoholic or a drug-abuser
2. I am happily married to a man who treats me like a princess, although he's not a JW. He's not an alcoholic, drug-abuser, or adulterer either!
3. I have never had a 'demon attack' in my life.
4. I am financially secure, and a productive member of society who likes to think they contribute to the community in some way.
5. My life is peaceful and full of love and contentment.
Hopefully it may reassure them, perhaps maybe even make them think twice about the whole idea that life goes sour when you leave the borg. But, chances are they are still going to be unable to resist the need to preach to me... But, so what? I love them, and I am happy with who I am and where I am in my life. Yes, it'd be nice if my parents could see that and just be happy for me and approve of my life. But, if they don't, I'll probably feel hurt for a few minutes, but ultimately, I won't let them destroy my peace.
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wavvy
God and the New Physics - Paul Davies. Not entirely about evolution but touches on it.
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19
Should I just keep my distance?
by wavvy inreading other people's posts, its obvious that those of us who still have contact with our jw family are constantly bombarded with sick propaganda designed to make us feel guilty and scared.
we are all so happy to be out, yet these contacts with our family revive all the bad feelings.. my parents are always calling me to meet up with them for coffee or something.
i don't want them to be a part of this new life of mine because i don't need that kind of crap all the time.
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wavvy
Robdar - you are really a ray of sunshine
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60
The truth is that the reason my wife and I left was bound up with "Making the Truth Our Own"
by gubberningbody inyou get contacted, you come in, you learn the bible their way, then you learn the bible your way and then you leave.. you make the truth your own..
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wavvy
Oh! Why did you have to put that song in my head!
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19
Should I just keep my distance?
by wavvy inreading other people's posts, its obvious that those of us who still have contact with our jw family are constantly bombarded with sick propaganda designed to make us feel guilty and scared.
we are all so happy to be out, yet these contacts with our family revive all the bad feelings.. my parents are always calling me to meet up with them for coffee or something.
i don't want them to be a part of this new life of mine because i don't need that kind of crap all the time.
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wavvy
sigh...i was probably hoping that you would all say thats its ok to just ride off into the sunset and forget all about them
but I guess you are right...family is precious no matter what. I just have to be a bit braver about setting "boundaries" (altho I do hate that cliche).
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19
Should I just keep my distance?
by wavvy inreading other people's posts, its obvious that those of us who still have contact with our jw family are constantly bombarded with sick propaganda designed to make us feel guilty and scared.
we are all so happy to be out, yet these contacts with our family revive all the bad feelings.. my parents are always calling me to meet up with them for coffee or something.
i don't want them to be a part of this new life of mine because i don't need that kind of crap all the time.
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wavvy
Reading other people's posts, its obvious that those of us who still have contact with our JW family are constantly bombarded with sick propaganda designed to make us feel guilty and scared. We are all so happy to be out, yet these contacts with our family revive all the bad feelings.
My parents are always calling me to meet up with them for coffee or something. I don't want to go. I don't want to see them. I don't want them to be a part of this new life of mine because I don't need that kind of crap all the time. Although I'm not D'd, I have cut off all my JW friends who still want to see me, because I don't want to hear them spew out that garbage all the time. I don't want to spend time with people who are always looking for insidious ways to try and lure me back. Always slipping little things into the conversation. They think they are subtle, but they are not.
With friends, well, its sad but thats life. I've made new friends. With my parents though, its a different story. They are old. They are terribly torn up by the fact that their world has gone crazy and out of control. So many of their kids and grandkids are out in the 'world'. So, yes....it makes me feel guilty that I dont' want to see them. I am torn between this need to stay well away from them for the sake of my own sanity, and the sad fact that my parents are old and this may be the last few years I will have to spend time with them. I suppose I should just be grateful that they will even speak to me, given the number of people on this board whose families have cut them off entirely.
Suggestions?
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17
Posted on behalf - ladies, please share your thoughts and comments
by passwordprotected ini am a lifelong jw, a born-in true believer for most of my life.
eventually i had the awakening and have been pulling away from the religion, even though we still attend meetings.
i am willing to keep up appearances if it means saving my relationship with my wife and our close family.
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wavvy
I agree with what Heaven says: get her forward looking.
I'm afraid I don't see the point in trying to disprove doctrinal issues to her, or show her the fallacy of the paradise hope. That could hurt a lot, and is probably something she'll come to by herself anyway given time.
But show her all the wonderful things you can do together in your lives. Show her all the things that are beautiful in the world. Just lead her gently by the hand and love her a lot. I'm sure she's an intelligent woman and will disentangle all the lies herself after a while. You know that scripture they always quote about winning over your unbelieving mate: 'won without a word'? It goes both ways. You are in a unique position to show her how good things are when you leave the truth without needing to drown all her hopes at once. It's like an addiction: you replace bad habits with good ones. Slowly start to help her find things in the world that can replace the things in the borg that used to keep her going.
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17
Posted on behalf - ladies, please share your thoughts and comments
by passwordprotected ini am a lifelong jw, a born-in true believer for most of my life.
eventually i had the awakening and have been pulling away from the religion, even though we still attend meetings.
i am willing to keep up appearances if it means saving my relationship with my wife and our close family.
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wavvy
I would suggest that you let her go in her own time. Obviously she's having her own doubts, but she may back off completely if the world outside seems too shocking.
I can relate to the disinterest in doctrinal matters. Personally, even when I was a practicing JW I didn't much care about doctrinal issues. Sometimes for a woman its the daily details that matter most. When I felt that life as a JW wasn't working that's when I got out. Once you realize that the way of life of a JW is screwed up, its obvious that the doctrinal stuff probably is too. So there it doesnt' really seem necessary to go into the ins and outs of doctrinal matters.
I can also relate to the staunch faith in....well....something. Its just all too much for some of us to let go of everything in one big bang. First I realized life as a JW was not any better than life in the world...that was shock enough for me. Then I realized that life outside was actually better. Then I decided all the other JW beliefs were probably not as accurate as I had thought. Then I began to question the Bible itself. Now I am even open to the question of whether God exists at all, and I have to admit to thinking that much of 'Babylon the Great' is pretty fantastic actually! But it was a slow process over about 3 years. At first I just had the idea that I was taking a break from meetings to sort out my thinking and might go back later if I decided that was what I wanted. Now I can't imagine that ever happening.
Some of us are slower than others!