Francois, I am talking about a later point in time. In the moment when the emotional reaction has already risen, it is already after the fact and to deny it only means you're denying what exists in that moment.
You do bring up a good point though, and that is the apparent contradiction between this business of self mastery and the idea of no self, being one with the Tao and so on. It's really a simple matter of being identified and hanging on to something, though. From the absolute perspective, there is no control. Control of what we perceive of as our self is only relative, and so to resist what we cannot control is only denial, that is what I was getting at. However, I have found that even if there is an emotional reaction, (which need not be a part of personal/psychological interaction, it could be in response to an event you observed) simply not identifying with it or resisting it (which is identifying with the oppsite, still being defined by that which you are resisting) allows me to experience the most intense emotions in a very short period of time. Therefore I don't identify with or deny those experiences, it is simply part of what makes me human. Anyway, as you know all things include their opposite, it is far more valuable (not to mention realistic) to recognize this in our interactions than to hang on to the typical idea of control. To speak from a practical level, it is a matter of recognizing what is within your control and what is not, because that's just another thing that is subject to the dualistic nature of all things relative.