One other thing, there is no expectation that ex-JWs are particularly decent human beings who are all nice compared to JWs or any other group for that matter is there? As we can see, the fact is that there are many who are quite the opposite. This is just the way it is. We can talk about what we think is right, how to be respectful and all that, but any visitor who comes will see the truth of the situation, including the fact that there are many who might be considered worse off and not so nice. If they see only the personal attacks and profanity, that is their own selective attention. Even if those people are in the minority you will have witnesses who only see that, there are some people who see what they want to see.
I can't remember if it was this board or another one, but I think someone already made the point about being good anti-witnesses to give the witness a good witness. This whole business of being a good example, being on your best behavior is actually not the way we want them to think about things is it? There are witnesses who are nice, but does that alone mean the religion is the truth? The same goes for ex-witnesses. It's a matter of looking at the actual issues. If someone is honest with themselves, they will see that you'll have rude behavior in any discussion group. It's fine to say "we" should discuss the issues, but the fact is you deal with a lot of human behavior here too. It should be obvious when someone is being serious and posts a well written essay, and it doesn't seem like there is a shortage of those on the web.