Posts by whathehadas

18

What to Do? What to Do? What to Say?

by whathehadas in

i am inactive and trying to fade as some of you know.

since my family in still in, i've been recieving "we me you" cards from the congo i was going to.

i have also recieved a few calls from the congo i move from that's out of the area.

whathehadas

I am inactive and trying to fade as some of you know. Since my family in still in, I've been recieving "We Me you" cards from the Congo I was going to. I have also recieved a few calls from the Congo I move from that's out of the area. Some of them were for invites to gatherings or weddings but now just recently, I recieved a call from my former book study conductor in that area. He talked to my mom and Lord knows what she told him. He was given my cell number and left a message stating " he just had a operation and has cancer'. It's strange in my opinion to call me out of the blue after I haven't seen him in 6 months and never have been getting calls period in the 2 yrs that I've been away from their congo. I don't know what's been going on with the rumors about me, since one of the Messages I recieved were from the CBOE out there thinking "I had moved back and was staying with my cousin". I never returned that call and am debating on whether to return this recent one. I wasn't real close to him even though he was one of the few elders I ever had numerous conversations with about issues concerning my life. I think people in these congos are attached to me because they like my calm and quiet personality. I'm just "DONE" with this religion and don't want to be bothered anymore from these guys. I would rather not D'A but just completely fade away. I just don't know whether to return this recent call regarding this "sick" Brother. What to do? What to Say?

40

How long will I be an exJW vs a fomer JW?

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

drew sagan in a recent post (he recently graduated college) said this, something that i agree with and frankly, think about often.

to those of you who feel that you need to "help others" in the watchtower i give you this word of caution.

be careful, because that may simply be an excuse you are using to remain stuck in the past.

whathehadas

Move on? I don't know, I mean it is like a person that has been beat across the head for a number of years. Try moving on but once they hit their head by accident, it all comes back to them of their past experience. For myself being a fader after not attending meetings for the past 3 months excluding the awful memorial, I see in all honesty that moving on from this borg is a lifetime in itself. I have a two brothers who were D'Fd( one 20 yrs and the other 11 yrs ago) and they still have flashbacks of the JW life style though they been away for awhile. I can't imagine the ones who been totally indoctrinated and been through the ranks in the org to totally move on. Ex-JWs like Randy Watters, Barbara Anderson, and a countless amount of others have devoted their life to exposing the WT. AllTimeJeff I have always appreciated your post and blogs that you have made since I have been awakened. Whether you come back periodically and post, just remember those that may have opened their eyes can get insight from you. Hey if it wasn't for me venturing on Youtube and curiously looking up JWs, I would have never came across EXgileadmissionary's videos, being the fact that I was scared to death of "apostates". Just having a Ex-gilead next to your name may raise eyebrows for some witnesses. Whatever you do, just know that you will always be associated with the JWs.

10

The Confession of Whathehadas

by whathehadas in

as i sit here today wondering where my life shall end up, i'm letting some of my transgressions be made known.

i never been the most outspoken person, more often than not i have been timid and shy.

i have always felt uncomfortable when in large settings of people, especially large congregation gatherings and conventions.

whathehadas

But I regress, Sex is not the whole issue with me but also being bound to schedules and people of the "truth". I'm tired of being told when, what, where, and how to live. Stop buggin WTS and let people make their own conscious dicisions. Tired of all the pressure to pursue "spiritual goals", if I hear that one more time I will shoot myself. I don't want to be a Elder or M.S and never felt up for it. Tired of all the concern and love bombing. I want a rest from these nuts!

10

The Confession of Whathehadas

by whathehadas in

as i sit here today wondering where my life shall end up, i'm letting some of my transgressions be made known.

i never been the most outspoken person, more often than not i have been timid and shy.

i have always felt uncomfortable when in large settings of people, especially large congregation gatherings and conventions.

whathehadas

I don't have the finances unfortunately right now to move. If i did, I would have been left when I first read CoC early last year. I haven't went out in service for over 3 months and intend on not going to any more meetings. I can't stand them now and never really like gettin ready for them. OTWO I know those experiences are the norm in life but I have never experience them. This last few years have been very frustrating to me. I can't stop thinking of Sex and relationships, I would be satisfied if I could just cuddle with some girl. I don't know if its a combination of gettin older(I will be 27 this year) or just being around and seeing people relate to it. Even when I still "believed", when with the brothers, dating and marriage would always come up. I just was never interested at the time. Now I am so hot and horny, If God wants to destroy me......let me have that one of experience of loving!

10

The Confession of Whathehadas

by whathehadas in

as i sit here today wondering where my life shall end up, i'm letting some of my transgressions be made known.

i never been the most outspoken person, more often than not i have been timid and shy.

i have always felt uncomfortable when in large settings of people, especially large congregation gatherings and conventions.

whathehadas

Thanks Sd-7, we will be talking Xbro, I am going to turn in that letter now. Short and brief straight to the point with no details. With the girl 6yrs ago, touching on her butt and some suggestive talk was ALL that was ever done. I did start to talk to a "wordly" girl I met at a video store briefly, I now wish It would have gone futher with her. I really liked her but was too scared I would be caught

10

The Confession of Whathehadas

by whathehadas in

as i sit here today wondering where my life shall end up, i'm letting some of my transgressions be made known.

i never been the most outspoken person, more often than not i have been timid and shy.

i have always felt uncomfortable when in large settings of people, especially large congregation gatherings and conventions.

whathehadas

As I sit here today wondering where my life shall end up, I'm letting some of my transgressions be made known. I never been the most outspoken person, more often than not I have been timid and shy. I have always felt uncomfortable when in large settings of people, especially large congregation gatherings and conventions. It always felt as if I was nobody with nothing really to offer but another body that supported this religion. I have never been confident in my abilities and apperance, though at times my confidence would be high, more often than not it would be down. I never been a strong believer in the so called "Truth", just something about it's legitamacy was always in the back of my mind. I always tried to maintain fine conduct as a Jehovah's Witness, always trying to avoid so called "bad association" and loose conduct. But for the latter as a imperfect person, I have fallen short in this regard unfortunately. On a couple of incidents, one of which that involved the opposite sex. This sister in my congregation at the time was 17 and I had just moved into the congregation. I don't know when she started to like me but after some friends from the congo and me went out for bowling, she was playing around with my cell phone which I left on the table near her. She got my number off of it and started to call me frequently there after. I was a naive 20yr old at the time and never really had gotten this much attention from girls, well maybe from this wierd goth girl in my last year of high school. Well anyways to make a long story short, this sister who's family took a liking to me, started to invite me over their house and to dinner a few times. All the while this young sister constantly called me and told me explicit details of a sexual nature regarding her past before she was baptised. This was shocking to me at the time and I openly confidided this and other talk with these two brothers that I was working for. After telling thim about some sexual and suggestive talk made to me from the sister, one of the brothers threatened to tell the elders and the sister's brother who was a M.S in my hall. I was scared silly and promised that I would stop talking to the girl, but this girl would not leave me alone. Well anyway after being invited over her house to watch movies with one of her brothers. I got caught up and felt on her legs and butt, after leaving that night I felt so bad that I called her the next day and apologized fervently for my actions. She wasn't worried about it and had never objected to my actions. I shortly there after stopped talking with her by being so guilty of this incident. I never told anyone of this, especially the brothers for fear of reparcussions. I was so pathetic and stupid and didn't know how the JW judicial system worked. I used to think that if a person confessed of a serious sin, they were immediately disfellowshipped. I never really paid attention to this since hey as long as I never did anything wrong, I would not need to meet with the elders. Well the situation with the sister has been almost six years ago, I still talk to her every once in awhile but really not that much at all since I moved away. Well now that I am living with my mom and sister who are Jdubbs and now that I have become part of the "conscious class", I don't care that much if I fall into loose conduct. In regards to the opposite sex, I am still scared and really don't know how to react to attention from them. Everytime I really like someone, I never have the guts to show that I'm interested in them. Not to say that I never had success in talking to girls but unfortunately, there was always the "worldly" girl aspect that stop me short, being the fact I'm more attracted to them instead of the ordinary looking women of the Organization. Anyways, Well my second big act of loose conduct happened this past Super Bowl sunday at my new friend and co-worker's house where I got drunk and wasted. Since I no longer consider myself a witness but am still in, I didn't care about this and planned with him weeks in advance on gettin drunk of shots of liquor. He introduced me to his girlfriend's sister and we had been talkin for a few weeks. She was at this party but nothing ever happen with us. Sorry WTS, but I did not fornicate or steal a cup of sugar from my neighbor after gettin drunk. Now that I'm on my way out of this cult, I am wishing to do immoral things but can't seem to get in the situation to do them. I'm constantly geeting harassed by my mom every day about not leaving the "truth" and to talk to the brothers, I have written a letter to disassociate myself but I'm hesistant to give it to the elders. Part of which I really don't feel like sitting in front of them to express my disbelief in the organization and some of it's doctrine. I want to get away from all of this so bad! I'm tired of being harrased and my sexuality, sanity, and emotions being questioned just because I don't believe this is the TRUTH! I'm still a Christian and am eager to learn and find my way. I just need some people to talk to. Next up my story, The Trials and Tribulations of Whathehadas( What I have is what you got and what I got is what I give to you)

15

Tell me does this make Any sense?

by whathehadas in

while satan and his demons fiddled around in heaven and earth.

jehovah and jesus waited for over 2,000 years before kickin them out.

while a jdubb who is declared a apostate by the governing body and elders is kicked out asap!

whathehadas

So for a total of 6,940 years, Satan and inc. will have been left alone to fiddle around. While a Jdubb who is labeled and likened to Satan is kick out and destroyed ASAP.

15

Tell me does this make Any sense?

by whathehadas in

while satan and his demons fiddled around in heaven and earth.

jehovah and jesus waited for over 2,000 years before kickin them out.

while a jdubb who is declared a apostate by the governing body and elders is kicked out asap!

whathehadas

While Satan and his Demons fiddled around in Heaven and earth. Jehovah and Jesus waited for over 2,000 years before kickin them out. While a Jdubb who is declared a Apostate by the Governing Body and Elders is kicked out ASAP!

12

Jehovah's Witnesses: The Radio Shack of Religions

by whathehadas in

if you ever been to radio shack, you would notice how relatively small the store is.

yet according to advertisements and sales associate suggestions, they have in the store everything that you will need which is electronic related.

they have all the answers for your technological wants simply put, or is this really the case.

whathehadas

If you ever been to Radio shack, you would notice how relatively small the store is. Yet according to advertisements and sales associate suggestions, they have in the store everything that you will need which is electronic related. They have all the answers for your technological wants simply put, or is this really the case. You would only have to take a couple of steps in the door and realize that there is pressure on you to buy. You may have come in just to pick up batteries for your T.V remote, but end up being held up and interrogated on what cell phone provider you have. Being hit with all the questions and suggestions, you would tense up with frustration knowing that this is not what you came in there for. The pressure imposed through the environment may cave most people into getting into a contract or paying more money than what you intended to pay. The knowledgeable and crafty associates seemed to be helpful and have all the answers for your needs. This was the major factor in buying the crap thats being pushed in the store. As a former employee, I got a first hand glimpse into the Radio shack world. Pressure on the Sales Associate to sell to the customer was emphasized constantly, Granted all sales utilize this, Radio Shack's moto of "we have the answers" sticks out among its competitors. In comparison to Jehovah's Witnesses "we have all the answers, Why go anywhere else?" True there not as big as the others but...they know what you need. Bait and trap my brothers, Bait and trap.

7

Why Me??

by whathehadas in

i think of this as i reflect on my life.

why did i have to be born in this cult?

i'm not alone in this regard, but you can't help but wonder.

whathehadas

I think of this as I reflect on my life. Why did I have to be born in this cult? I'm not alone in this regard, but you can't help but wonder. Why couldn't It have been Catholic, Protestant, Presbyterian, or any of the hundreths of other denominations? Oh what a frustrating and agonizing life!