Posts by jgnat

30

Would You, Could You, Marry Your Wife Again?

by Englishman in

jw
friends

a couple of years back, 2 friends of ours decided that they would like to have their marriage vows renewed in our local church.

the main reason behind this was that they had married abroad some years back, and they thought that a sort of "second wedding" would be a nice thing for the mums and dads who had missed out on the original.

it was fine, very enjoyable.. hmm, i got to thinking, her ladyship and i did not marry in church, but settled for a registry office bash because of parental jw pressure, and also, because i had been married before it was, back then, very difficult to obtain a church wedding if one had been divorced.

jgnat

I am with Her Ladyship. Every single renewal-of-vows event I have gone to ended in divorce. Every one.

I think marriage starts out as a delightful romantic roller-coaster, but as it matures it becomes a completely different ride. I like the way a relationship mellows to a delightful crawl down a tree-shaded lane. There is more time to enjoy the trip. My theory is that couples who crave the rollercoaster have not ever settled in to the beauty that a long term relationship provides. The vow-renewal events I attended, at least from my point of view, were a pathetic attempt to revive the roller-coaster.

24

What the WT took from me.. is it gone 4ever?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

i was raised jw, so i have nothing to go back to as far as belief.

the wt has been exposed to me as nothing but a bunch of lies, coverups, failed predictions, interpreting the bible to fit their teachings etc.

now i stand here,,,,,,,,,,,, with no belief system at all.

jgnat

My abuser was my ex, not the society, but he left his mark on me too. It took a long time to trust again. Yes, he left his mark, but not all of it was bad. When confronted with an enemy, I do my reasearch and find out how he/she ticks, and develop a strategy to deal with them. It came in handy living with an abuser, and it comes in handy now. I came to terms with my rights as a woman and a human being, and I do not tolerate abuse.

From what I can see, xJW's come out of the org with some marked traits. For one thing, you are a very welcoming and accepting group. Probably something to do with having experienced the butt end of rejection. Also, some of you celebrate birthdays and holidays with such obvious delight. Stellar examples for a jaded holiday-keeper like me. Also, you guys are the fastest at spotting circular logic. NOTHING gets past you.

Lyin Eyes, it sounds like you are on the normal path of self-determination. You keep on, girl. The journey's worth it.

21

I've never lived

by DanTheMan in

jw
friends

been doing a lot of reflecting lately, about my life and this crazy world.. fear has dominated my life.

i have barely lived because of it.

i just exist, that's about it.. when i was growing up, it was bullies at school.

jgnat

On a certain day of the week, our Home Depot puts out discount paint that another homeowner has returned (It wasn't the exact shade of peach). Why not pick your colour off the shelf and go with that?

Your desire to branch out and live a little is healthy. Sure, take a risk. Join a club. Venture out of your comfort zone.

17

Is There Hope for My JW Family?

by Robdar in

jw
friends

i am pleased to report that there is!

i just got off the phone with a jw family member who is sending me a christmas present!.

they (i am keeping their gender a secret to protect their identity) didn't go so far as to wish me a merry christmas but they did tell me that they are mailing it tomorrow and that they hope that i get it in time for christmas.

jgnat

Concerned Mama observed yesterday that xJW's really love celebrating the holidays we take for granted. You are great examples for us all not to take these little things for granted.

Thanks for sharing the true spirit of Christmas.

21

I've never lived

by DanTheMan in

jw
friends

been doing a lot of reflecting lately, about my life and this crazy world.. fear has dominated my life.

i have barely lived because of it.

i just exist, that's about it.. when i was growing up, it was bullies at school.

jgnat

Dan, I am very lucky that I had only one day in my 42 years when life did not seem worth living. I had little ones to take care of by then, and I stuck around for their sake. There is nothing like being in charge of a new life to make one hope again. You have not been around long enough to know if life is worthwhile or not. During my generation, I feared that we would be nuked by the russkies. Or by the US by mistake trying to stop the russkies. In the seventies, I didn't bother to get a driver's licence, because we all knew there would be no oil left by the eighties. I lived to see the Berlin Wall come down. I cried. Even though that wall was half a world away, it was a burden on my soul.

I found out that the prophets of doom are often wrong. There is something beautiful about simple living. The network of friends and loved ones, watching flowers and children grow. Perhaps, Dan, if you did less living in your head (worrying about things) and more living outside (meeting people) you would find more meaning in life.

25

Quotes or Sayings About Lies and Lying

by blondie in

jw
friends

"never chase a lie.

let it alone, and it will run itself to death.".

- lyman beecher

jgnat

Did I kill the thread? I was looking forward to more...

12

Don't Accept Witness Rudeness!

by metatron in

a lot of what elders ( and others) ask is just plain rude and you should tell.

i've informed elders that 'inquisitions and interrogations are unchristian.

and rude'.. imagine people showing up uninvited at your home, asking questions about your private.

jgnat

Soooo, right, Metatron. "I know I've got the TRUTH (tm)". That is rude. My honey says it when I nail him to the wall with a good rebuttal. I think he uses this mantra to reset his "faith" button. Do witnesses confuse blind trust with faith? From his point of view, my honey is hanging on to this TRUTH like a life-preserver. He has no idea how insulting it sounds to me.

12

Don't Accept Witness Rudeness!

by metatron in

a lot of what elders ( and others) ask is just plain rude and you should tell.

i've informed elders that 'inquisitions and interrogations are unchristian.

and rude'.. imagine people showing up uninvited at your home, asking questions about your private.

jgnat

You are right. I have heard my honey called the Christmas holidays "pagan" one too many times. My other pet peeve is being called an "unbeliever". I believe plenty. Rudeness should always be called to account.

9

A call for "essays"

by Decidedly_Unsure in

someone, i believe it may have been farkel, suggested that there are no more meaty doctrinal issues to be discussed on this board.

that being the case, i would like to solicit the help of the more capable posters on something that could be of tremendous help to, not just myself, but perhaps other lurkers as well.. the requirement is for someone like myself who is still actively attending only because of a close family member or friend who is still in.

assuming that individual, like many jdubs, has a couple of nagging doubts, there is a need to introduce the real truth about the truth.

jgnat

I would not spam an unsuspecting Witness. It amounts to a "cold call"; uninvited and unwelcome. Reminds me of door-to-door work. What would be more useful is short study articles available for those who are having doubts. Loving friends and relatives can pick a study topic and present it to the doubting Dub. I would suggest a question format with scripture references large blank spaces for the Witness to insert their own thoughts. The more independent thinking is encouraged, the better, my opinion. What would be good topics to start out with?

How about:

How can we discern a true prophet?
What is the Good News that we preach?

17

Being a JW has made me bitter

by mamashel in

over the last year after leaving the organization, i have done much research and read many books on the topic of jw's.

i have found peace in the fact that i truely believe that it is a false religion and that i want nothing to do with it ever again.

my problem is that i have been through, like most of you alot of emotions such as fear, anger, stupidity, (that i could allow myself to get involved so deeply in something), and many other feelings too.

jgnat

You and your family have been treated horribly. Your anger is understandable. Bitterness does not have to be a permanent condition, however. Responding to an injustice is one thing. Becoming a bitter person for the rest of your life is quite another. That could be the last nasty gift the WTS bestows on you. Don't accept it.

My mom complained bitterly all her life about the treatment she received by the hand of her stepmother. My sister bitterly complains about the "baggage" she carries because of mom. Many years ago, I worked through my grief of what I lost in a mother, and "buried" my old mom. (I had the help of a counsellor, by the way.) Then I got on with the way life is now, and got to know the woman who can't be a normal mom to me. Mom lives in another province, but we have a great pen-pal relationship going. She always has a dirty joke waiting. Here's a sample:

Why did the Easter bunny hide his eggs? He didn't want anyone to think he was screwing a chicken.

My sister reacts in ways I consider silly, now. Like changing her haircut when she realized it was the same as mom's, and having her children sign cards, "Dear Grandma, I don't know who you are." Not that I am perfect. I plan on falling apart next when dad passes. He has been my rock. The point is, bitterness and anger are normal processes when grieving a loss. In this case, grieving the loss of trust and faith. Bitterness only gets ugly if you get stuck there.