Posts by dgp

74

I need answers to so MANY questions.....

by Confuzzled in

jw
friends

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dgp

Ah, and if you're Angel Eyes or someone like her, I will know.

74

I need answers to so MANY questions.....

by Confuzzled in

jw
friends

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dgp

Welcome to the forum. I don't believe in fate, but it's a happy coincidence that you're being greeted by someone who's been in a situation very similar to yours. I am not a JW either, and I can relate to what you're feeling. And, you're an Episcopalian, so you're a light and vegetarian version of me, a Catholic.

I think you need to be patient, first and foremost. You're feeling the same overload we usually feel when we do our research. Be PATIENT. Give yourself a break and take time to do your own research.

Take it easy with the man. Don't accept being pushed into things you don't understand or fully share.

The good side of this conflict of yours will be the deep thinking you'll have to do. You will question your faith, your lifestyle, everything. And, if you do it on your own, without anyone from outside meddling, you'll come out a better person.

People with the best intentions will tell you that you have to run away from him, as soon as possible. I know it's not that easy.

This forum will answer lots of your questions. What you will see here is the way that real people have been hurt. Take your time to understand that these people here, like those people out there knocking at your door, are indeed your brothers and sisters. Some of them have been fortunate to escape and regain control of themselves; others are not so lucky. Some will never get out. And some other people, like you and me, will find themselves in a deep problem because of their love for a JW. I think we can all help everyone else.

Take your time. I think you and I will be having very good conversations.

15

Relationships after "The Truth"

by Cthulhu in

jw
friends

i just saw the last thread started by highdose about her date with the nonwitness gentleman (and you have both my congratulations as well as best wishes).

but then it occured to me as a single guy that i have had very little luck in the dating department since leaving the cult.

i understand why, to a large degree, this can be a problem for folks after they have had their minds and social skills depleated.

dgp

Sorry, buddy, but if you're a Satanist, in the true sense of the word, then I'm afraid you won't get many dates. Maybe you will date other Satanists. To the rest of the world, you'll be off limits. Sorry.

I am sure many more people would want you to meet their parents if you said you were a Jehovah's witness. Now, if you tell people that you were a Jehovah's witness first, and that now you've gone the other way around, then people will have second and third, and fourth thoughts about you. Some close-minded people will say that you're obviously nuts, since you left hell, only to go back to hell, and this time with the real bad guy who has the forklift and the arrow-pointed tail (and the little horns). (Just for the sake of explanation, since I am here, it's obvious we don't have anything in particular against witnesses). Others will say that they woud have liked to meet you when you were a JW. And still others will say that you're given to extreme changes and that is a big no-no.

You will tend to attract the crazy kind. Sorry.

15

Relationships after "The Truth"

by Cthulhu in

jw
friends

i just saw the last thread started by highdose about her date with the nonwitness gentleman (and you have both my congratulations as well as best wishes).

but then it occured to me as a single guy that i have had very little luck in the dating department since leaving the cult.

i understand why, to a large degree, this can be a problem for folks after they have had their minds and social skills depleated.

dgp

I think I can say a few things. I don't know much about you, so I will speculate a bit.

I think ColdRedRain could help you better, however.

I take it that you don't mean you're a "Satanist" in the true sense of the word. I suppose you're saying this to imply that people who are not witnesses think of you as a pecularly wicked person. If this is what you have in mind, NO, that is not what we would think when seeing you. So perhaps the first step would be to really gauge yourself in the dating area according to real rules.

I assume that you're a guy of average attractiveness. That counts a bit.

People want you to meet their parents when they are serious about you, and that takes some time in the real world. The girl has to get to know you first. So there's no meeting the parents at this moment. I am not sure if you're looking for the real deal, marriage. If you are, and you're, say, 22, chances are not many girls will want that at this time. Too young. They have careers to follow. They might marry you when they are 27, after their master's.

"Intelligent" is different than "philosopher". There are many smart girls out there who don't like to quote Heidegger. So, check whether your definition of "intelligent" is the good one.

I think you have to relax and give it time. Get to know people, become a people person, go out, et cetera. You will find someone.

I wouldn't hide the fact that you were a Jehovah's witness.

8

A sense of pride and new found confidence

by highdose in

jw
friends

hey guys!

i'm back from my first ever date with a non jw guy!

i'll tell more about that later, but as i was on the way there i remembered about how i used to pray before meeting a jw date, ( none of which ever worked out) and i realised that not praying and not attributing everything good to god has really boosted my confidence and thereby my pride.. it means that whatever goes right in my life is down to me and my hard work.

dgp

My congratulations, highdose. You deserve the best in life. Keep going!

22

How Many JWs Stay In & Are Not "True Believers"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

how many are simply there because they don't care about religion and "where would they go"?.

how many have sold their souls just to remain in "friendships" and "family"?.

i think there are tons of jehovah's witnesses in name only.. .

dgp

I forgot to add something to my rant . I believe that a true believer would not gobble up everything that an organizaton fed him/her. Because he or she would feel a greater commitment to "the truth" than to the organization, and would be careful not to let "the truth" be stained by worldly thought.

Cantleave, that was my approach when I was religious, too. One fine day I had too many doubts, that I couldn't simply brush off, and left.

22

How Many JWs Stay In & Are Not "True Believers"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

how many are simply there because they don't care about religion and "where would they go"?.

how many have sold their souls just to remain in "friendships" and "family"?.

i think there are tons of jehovah's witnesses in name only.. .

dgp

I agree with Blondie: we would need to begin by defining "true believer". I am sure we would all agree that a true believer is NOT the kind of person who goes through the motions or behaves like the perfect religious person (not only JW's would do this). A true believer would have a deep conviction that he or she believes what he or she believes because that is the truth. And this is very difficult terrain, because I am sure we would also agree that "true believer" is not the same as "someone who never questions what the organization says", because all men can make mistakes, or can twist things to fit their own wishes. And then, in your particular case, a true believer would not stay in the organization out of fear of losing family and friends. Or, fear of burning in hell/never being resurrected/whatever. True belief would be based on faith and intellect, and would act out of love (Thanks, Raymond Franz). And, it would not be based on fear of damnation (Thanks, Saint Therese of Jesus; thank you, Saint Francis of Assisi).

My opinion is that, as in any religion, you would find it impossible to know exactly how many truly believe in the Watchtower. "Hard core", by the way, would not necessarily be the same as "true believer", either, because many hard cores are there for gain, and not only in the Watchtower.

For someone who is not a Jehovah's witness, it's difficult to tell who really believes and who doesn't. All JW's seem to be just as hard-core. You would know better, of course.

Maybe we would know how many true believers a religion has if they were told that they are free to leave without eternal damnation, disfellowshipping, whatever, and that the church in question would not object to people studying anything and everything, without someone who will tell them what to think.

As a teen-ager, I had a card that read something like "If you love something, let it be free; if it comes back to you, it's yours; if it doesn't, it never was".

20

Bible Research help needed.

by cantleave in

my wife and i want to start looking afresh at the bible, go back to basics as it were.. what have people here found to be the best approach?.

what translations of the bible would you reccomend (i have the nwt).

what commentaries / texts have people found most useful?.

dgp

May I suggest "Isaac Asimov's Guide to the Bible"?

http://www.amazon.com/Asimovs-Guide-Bible-Historical-Testaments/dp/051734582X/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256777513&sr=8-5

It sells for $ 11.25.

16

Interesting Thought about JW's and People Outside the Org

by Mrs. Witness in

on another thread, aude sapeare said:.

jws make this huge assumption that once you leave the 'protection' of the org, you will go off the deep end and become totally irresponsible, drink, smoke, do drugs and have sex with anyone and anything.. that is what i have been fighting with my husband about for 3 years now.

when he was kicked out of his jw's mom's house when he was 15, that is exactly what he did for about 20 years.

dgp

May I suggest that you use "I'm too sexy for your love...?"

16

Interesting Thought about JW's and People Outside the Org

by Mrs. Witness in

on another thread, aude sapeare said:.

jws make this huge assumption that once you leave the 'protection' of the org, you will go off the deep end and become totally irresponsible, drink, smoke, do drugs and have sex with anyone and anything.. that is what i have been fighting with my husband about for 3 years now.

when he was kicked out of his jw's mom's house when he was 15, that is exactly what he did for about 20 years.

dgp

Mrs. Witness, I like your "be good for goodness sake".