Cthulhu

Joined 16 years ago

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Posts by Cthulhu

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  110

  wife took it pretty well i guess...it's over...

  by oompa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  15 years ago

  i guess it only took three years, but they were hell in so many ways for both of us...she was not happy and lived in denial as much as possible...i was not happy and lived in a bottle as much as possible and glad that is over for me....but it was one of the saddest things i have ever experienced in my life....as was the visit to my parents before i told her....but yes...she said she kind of expected it...was thinking something was going to happen soon as she noticed i had more and more trouble saying i love you back to her when she said it on the phone at the end of goodbyes...and when i was leaving the house...i had noticed it for over a year and it was killing me..... i told her how sorry i was for changing so much again....and that she still walks on water...and is a great person and so pretty....and that she will be ok because she was happy single before me for many years and had all she needs for that again...her closeness to jehovah and her freinds in the congregation...she is very close to both and will be ok i hope...it was very surreal....very calm...very sad.

  my bitterness and disdain for wt rules came through when talking to my parents and i was very open about how i feel as to their upcoming shunning of me, and how it feels to my son since he was just 17....and how the fear of losing them had kept me trying in my marriage for the past few years...dad was firm in his position of future action....mom said they will still always love me...and will still talk to me until i get dfd.....oh how this hurts.....dad said there is a name for people who only live for themselves and deny god but could not think of what it was....i told him i was not living just for myself...that i am a good person and there are values from him and the bible i hope i always have....i cry so hard as i type this and tell you just so you can know how painful this is....i told him i so loved the rule of treating others how you want to be treated and have always done that...even allowing myself to be wronged on so many occasions to keep peace....... he said that was a good rule....i agreed and said it was a big one too....and that while i could do it...treat him the way i would like to be treated...he would not be able to!.......left as i became emotional...big hug from mom, but i just barely put an arm on dad............oompa.

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  15 years ago
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  Cthulhu 15 years ago

  oompa,

  You and I haven't interacted much, but want to let you know how sorry I am to read this. I don't know your story, where you've been, or what exactly you've been through, but it really grieves me. I've lost a wife, and I've been shunned, to some extent. It's not easy, pleasant, or fun...but in the long run, you have to, and will, get through. It reminds me of a set of questions I once heard, that have helped me to cope with a lot of things in my life. "If your problems have a solution, why worry? If your problems have no solution, why worry?" Kinda helps put things into perspective, at least it has for me.

  You have my best wishes and sincerest sympathy.

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  17

  Crisis of Conscience

  by EmptyInside in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  15 years ago

  well, i just ordered "crisis of conscience".

  i'm kind of nervous about actually buying and reading it.

  this life is all i've ever known, it's my whole identity really.

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  15 years ago
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  Cthulhu 15 years ago

  I remember when I first read Ray's book...it actually made things worse temporarily. My belief in the nonsense had already faded, but this book put the nail in the organizations coffin as far as I was concerned, which was great, apart from the fact that I then knew I had a choice to make: Leave and give up the vast majority of the people I had been trained to think were my unconditional friends or stick around knowing full well that a) this religion was wrong on all major doctrines and prophesies and b) the "best friends I could have" wouldn't even think of talking to me if they knew my true feelings. So, I chose to walk away and do a quick fade. The really neat thing about that is you find out who your real friends are. When you've "turned your back on Jehovah," there will be a hand full that do not turn their backs on you, and that's because they are the genuine friends, the only ones that really mattered in the first place.

  At least that's how it went for me. I wish you well and I hope that, in the long run, the book makes things clearer, if not easier.

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  15

  Relationships after "The Truth"

  by Cthulhu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  15 years ago

  i just saw the last thread started by highdose about her date with the nonwitness gentleman (and you have both my congratulations as well as best wishes).

  but then it occured to me as a single guy that i have had very little luck in the dating department since leaving the cult.

  i understand why, to a large degree, this can be a problem for folks after they have had their minds and social skills depleated.

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  15 years ago
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  Cthulhu 15 years ago

  Thank you dgp. Many of your speculations were close, if not right on. Yes, I am a Satanist. Not "he's not a Witness, so he's evil." I enjoy that philosophy and see it as very useful to me as an individual. Thus, as I mentioned, in an area of little cultural flexibility, I feel that to many people this is a strike against me.

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  15

  Relationships after "The Truth"

  by Cthulhu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  15 years ago

  i just saw the last thread started by highdose about her date with the nonwitness gentleman (and you have both my congratulations as well as best wishes).

  but then it occured to me as a single guy that i have had very little luck in the dating department since leaving the cult.

  i understand why, to a large degree, this can be a problem for folks after they have had their minds and social skills depleated.

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  15 years ago
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  Cthulhu 15 years ago

  Why, Satanus, do I think that your last suggestion of bringing conversation back around to Satan wouldn't work in my area? & what is a pua site?

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  15

  Relationships after "The Truth"

  by Cthulhu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  15 years ago

  i just saw the last thread started by highdose about her date with the nonwitness gentleman (and you have both my congratulations as well as best wishes).

  but then it occured to me as a single guy that i have had very little luck in the dating department since leaving the cult.

  i understand why, to a large degree, this can be a problem for folks after they have had their minds and social skills depleated.

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  15 years ago
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  Cthulhu 15 years ago

  I suppose that may have sounded a bit self-exaulted. In the few instances when I have taken anyone out for a drink or a bite to eat in the last few months I have been quite humble...and was put through agony doing so. The mindless chatter became nearly unbearable, and I can think of at least one time I seriously considered "going off to the bathroom," getting in the car, and letting her find her own way back home (though I didnt). As I said, I'm aware that I am a bit picky. I suppose the question could better have been asked if I mentioned that I'm not always sure HOW to start conversations with people I would like to invite out. Self-confidence is one of the first things the Witnesses shatter, and I'm not sure how to get over that.

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  15

  Relationships after "The Truth"

  by Cthulhu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  15 years ago

  i just saw the last thread started by highdose about her date with the nonwitness gentleman (and you have both my congratulations as well as best wishes).

  but then it occured to me as a single guy that i have had very little luck in the dating department since leaving the cult.

  i understand why, to a large degree, this can be a problem for folks after they have had their minds and social skills depleated.

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  15 years ago
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  Cthulhu 15 years ago

  I just saw the last thread started by highdose about her date with the nonWitness gentleman (and you have both my congratulations as well as best wishes). But then it occured to me as a single guy that I have had very little luck in the dating department since leaving the cult. I understand why, to a large degree, this can be a problem for folks after they have had their minds and social skills depleated. But I think a little advice could be helpful. Granted, I already know that I am somewhat of a picky person. I not only like the idea of someone physically attractive, but require they be intelligent. I refuse to invest my time in a moron. I want the company of someone who can have a conversation about philosopy and that is capable of understanding three syllable words. I understand that pickiness isnt terribly helpful, but I am and I understand that is my "problem." I also am not in a real hub of cultural activity. Very few people here would be comfortable taking a me, a Satanist, to meet their parents. I also understand that this is my "problem." But apart from those things that are my own doing, are there any pointers you can think of as far as getting out and meeting people? I realize my social skills were somewhat stunted, but I do not want to end up a lonely intellectual, as I have already been described by some. I'd much rather be an intellectual in good company. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

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  11

  A Visitor At Work

  by Cthulhu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  15 years ago

  so i have not turned in any service time in four months or so.

  this elder, who also happens to be the congregation secretary stops in at my job today.

  i work for a cellular phone retailer in my home town, so he came in and conversed for a bit about his plan and different options we might be able to work with.

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  15 years ago
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  Cthulhu 15 years ago

  Im not sure if it bothered me more that he stopped at my place of employment and did not cease after a customer entered, or that it's really just synthetic concern. The only people these pricks care about are themselves. The CO is going to see that I am gone, a close friend of mine is gone, and that several of my other friends, whom I associate with on a regular basis have dropped their field service hours and they are going to have to explain to him why. Maybe, just maybe, it's because people are starting to realize that they are full of shit and are tired of taking orders like mindless drones.

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  11

  A Visitor At Work

  by Cthulhu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  15 years ago

  so i have not turned in any service time in four months or so.

  this elder, who also happens to be the congregation secretary stops in at my job today.

  i work for a cellular phone retailer in my home town, so he came in and conversed for a bit about his plan and different options we might be able to work with.

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  15 years ago
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  Cthulhu 15 years ago

  So I have not turned in any service time in four months or so. This elder, who also happens to be the congregation secretary stops in at my job today. I work for a cellular phone retailer in my home town, so he came in and conversed for a bit about his plan and different options we might be able to work with. I didnt actually believe that was his sole purpose in coming around, and this was confirmed when, toward the end of the conversation, he decided to mention to me that the CO is going to be in town mid November and that he's going to want to know where I've been and why I haven't been out preaching. Those bastards havent bothered to find out where I've been for months, and yet, when the CO is approaching his time of visit, they want to "make sure you're doing ok," or "see where you've been." He mentioned I'd not turned in service time and asked if I planned to again. Think that might have been a question leading to "well, do you even want to be known as a Witness any more?" It just kinda pisses me off! No concern until they are gonna have to hear about it. Bastards.

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  41

  Former JW Survey

  by Opus92 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  15 years ago

  i'm trying to gather data on ex-jws to analyze for a statistics class.

  i'd appreciate it if you'd click the link and take my short survey.

  it's only 7 questions and is anonymous.. .

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  15 years ago
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  Cthulhu 15 years ago

  Done

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  18

  Things i hate...

  by highdose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  15 years ago

  this is another list thread, we can list alll the things that really anoy us, heres mine:.

  people who ask me to call them and then turn out not to have a answer phone!.

  people who do not have locks on their bathroom door!.

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  15 years ago
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  Cthulhu 15 years ago

  People who tell the same story over and over again like youve never heard it before, when they know DAMN WELL they've already told ya, but they preface it with "you've already heard this before," like that justifies it. And then they talk really excitedly and fast as if that will make it interesting.

  People who speak just to hear the sound of their own voice.

  Folks who insist that "you must try my ______. It's the greatest!" It never is.

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