I know it's not "the truth" but it isn't a bad life for me,and I still very much believe in God.
I know what you mean... when I was in, it was alot more comfortable and easier to stay in disregarding the facts! The panic attacks (which I not sure I will have to look at your other post about the subject) but it's because you are facing fear or gulit of leaving in most cases. Fear of not knowing were to go and who else is right with good beleifs and morals.
Find these stories incouraging or anything else you find on this website: http://www.freeminds.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=64&Itemid=580
for anyone still in, and loves God and the Bible, do you try to have conversations about those things at the door, rather than WT doctrine?
I still strongly believe in God!! and the Bible! just fyi if you are thinking that love changes somehow by chance when you leave...
But just to answer your question when you go out in service (as a not in but loves God and the bible)... You should use your Bible more then anything... Read a scripture from it that encourage you and maybe what goes along with what you went over in the Daily Text or Watchtower that month.
But if I were you my conscience would not allow me to go out in service.