oh my that's so aweful! i would be devistated!!! but yes sadly that's the truth in most cases... they they think putting god first actually will make god happy and bless them for their sacrifes.. your the sacrifies. they well see your husband in new system and that to them is more important.
Butterflyleia85
JoinedPosts by Butterflyleia85
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31
Memorial is more important than dying relative!
by Orphan Annie inmy husband is gravely ill sedated and on a ventilator.
he most likely isn't going to survive.
we are not disfellowshipped.
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Help! Torn Mother (my mom) between to daughters (me nonJW and pioneer all faithful JW)
by Butterflyleia85 inmy mother's text: "she tried to love u and be ur sis and leave jw out but when she invited u to memorial like last year she was thinking all religions believe in dead of christ so she wanted u to know when it was and have an invite but u had to send her scriptures back and stuff instead of saying i dont feel comfortable goin... and u dont see it that way u blame it all on jw instead of taking some responsibility for trying or not trying but just hurting her with bring up stuff.
that hurts her.
she tried last summer remember she even went swimming with u and did things with u. it wasnt until she saw u post things and blame jw that she had to cut ties.".
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Butterflyleia85
never* mind about calling my sister. i was missing a word.
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Help! Torn Mother (my mom) between to daughters (me nonJW and pioneer all faithful JW)
by Butterflyleia85 inmy mother's text: "she tried to love u and be ur sis and leave jw out but when she invited u to memorial like last year she was thinking all religions believe in dead of christ so she wanted u to know when it was and have an invite but u had to send her scriptures back and stuff instead of saying i dont feel comfortable goin... and u dont see it that way u blame it all on jw instead of taking some responsibility for trying or not trying but just hurting her with bring up stuff.
that hurts her.
she tried last summer remember she even went swimming with u and did things with u. it wasnt until she saw u post things and blame jw that she had to cut ties.".
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Butterflyleia85
ha ok just wanted to say mind about calling my sister.
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Help! Torn Mother (my mom) between to daughters (me nonJW and pioneer all faithful JW)
by Butterflyleia85 inmy mother's text: "she tried to love u and be ur sis and leave jw out but when she invited u to memorial like last year she was thinking all religions believe in dead of christ so she wanted u to know when it was and have an invite but u had to send her scriptures back and stuff instead of saying i dont feel comfortable goin... and u dont see it that way u blame it all on jw instead of taking some responsibility for trying or not trying but just hurting her with bring up stuff.
that hurts her.
she tried last summer remember she even went swimming with u and did things with u. it wasnt until she saw u post things and blame jw that she had to cut ties.".
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Butterflyleia85
"public group" - is the facebook exjehovah's witness group i joined... I'm on private ones now just because all this mess.
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Help! Torn Mother (my mom) between to daughters (me nonJW and pioneer all faithful JW)
by Butterflyleia85 inmy mother's text: "she tried to love u and be ur sis and leave jw out but when she invited u to memorial like last year she was thinking all religions believe in dead of christ so she wanted u to know when it was and have an invite but u had to send her scriptures back and stuff instead of saying i dont feel comfortable goin... and u dont see it that way u blame it all on jw instead of taking some responsibility for trying or not trying but just hurting her with bring up stuff.
that hurts her.
she tried last summer remember she even went swimming with u and did things with u. it wasnt until she saw u post things and blame jw that she had to cut ties.".
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Butterflyleia85
OH and just so you all know I did tell my mother that she could tell my sister that we can arrange something once a year or whatever she felt comfortable to visit with my son. But that was around the time she asked me if I got my sister's memorial invite. I told her yes but we won't be going. (this conversation was on the phone a few days before memorial)
After all this advise, I will stop telling my mom to tell my sister stuff. I will just call my sister myself and leave a voicemail.
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Help! Torn Mother (my mom) between to daughters (me nonJW and pioneer all faithful JW)
by Butterflyleia85 inmy mother's text: "she tried to love u and be ur sis and leave jw out but when she invited u to memorial like last year she was thinking all religions believe in dead of christ so she wanted u to know when it was and have an invite but u had to send her scriptures back and stuff instead of saying i dont feel comfortable goin... and u dont see it that way u blame it all on jw instead of taking some responsibility for trying or not trying but just hurting her with bring up stuff.
that hurts her.
she tried last summer remember she even went swimming with u and did things with u. it wasnt until she saw u post things and blame jw that she had to cut ties.".
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Butterflyleia85
Ha not "today" I ment tomorrow, which is infact TODAY now, I was a half asleep when I wrote my last comment, I think, and through text nun the less.
I'm sure if it is brought up today, I will understand more clearly how to respond. My mom sounded a bet harsh thru text that day but I know she's not that harsh in reality so I will wait and see what she has to say in person.
My hope is that she deep down doesn't feel that way, the way she came acrossed through text. I just want her to see "eye to eye" with both of us and not side with either of us. That is why I said what I said about her not talking about my sister with me.
We usually have better conversations in person. ...Except I quiver my voice a bet when I am about to say (excitedly) something about holiday event coming up or birthday event I'm going to the next day... and instead say, "OH man I have such a busy week!" ha and then quickly try and think of something else to talk about like my son! lol I also know when she walks into my house and sees all the holiday stuff it can be a bet acquired for her.
But she lives a "free" life, not necessarily mentally with our religion but as a single lady, who is sick and tired of living up to their standards. She hasn't been to the meetings, she just goes to memorial with my sister or the convention, I guess. I know if she did start going back she said she would be disfellowshipped. But she doesn't want to go back and is even thinking about saying she smokes cigs and doesn't want to quiet so she can get out of explaining her personal life. (It's funny if she does because if that rumor got around to my grandma she be like, that's a huge lie because she has asthma and allergies to smoke and pretty much everything!)
So pretty much I think if it is brought up I will just keep quiet and agree with her and tell her I will send my sister a card (my mother's request just fyi). Then we don't have to go there about her (my sister) because yes your right it's not good to have a "middle man". Then I guess I will try and call my sister (dumb because I know she won't answer or probably even return my voicemail cause most the time I leave them and get no responce back!) and get specific on what is actually the problem and HOLD MY TONGUE ON JW STUFF!! lol Just simply the JW stuff you saw was personal and if it came to where I put it out in public it's cause my sister in law, my cousin, a few friends understand what I go through, and my old school friends can now understand why now I celebrate holidays, act totally different now, unlike before why I didn't celebrate and was so stricted. Cause man it does create alot of problems getting any further on the subject of JW stuff and just makes me look like the bad guy! Just simply talk about my son, our husbands, music, vacationing, movies, video games, etc. Hopefully our relationship will heal over time!! Hopefully... these again will have to be on both our terms... I'm not going to hide my holidays, I am not going to change my ways. We can simply set up a time to meet and visit with my son.
We had this type of relationship before I talked about my research about the religion a few years ago and yes my mom is right she did come over once last year but I didn't know what that was just because she said she was being spontanious and it was still not the same with us, and then when she saw all that stuff on FB around fall it went back to zero again (When I got married 2010 she shunned me harshly, that was when the I was doing my JW research).
I really hate this... if she has a problem with it why didn't she just say something instead of marking me off. I'm the bad guy because my stupid "public group" showed up in her newsfeed... Geez!! (All that part is solved now... I will maybe one day write out her letter on here. Because it will make more sense what she is thinking. And why I am taking my aproach the way I am now. She said basicly she wanted nothing to do with my life now. I did text her to tell her I got her letter and appreasiate a responce as to why she deleted me, I respected her decision. She asked about my son and didn't know how I felt between weither she got to see him or not. I told her "I will get back with you on that" (only because I wanted my husbands input) we said we loved each other said to each other our goodbyes and hope to see each other in paradise. I shared a few of my sons pic a few days later, she said aww and thanks for sending pics, and really I haven't heard from her except when she invited me to memorial.)
Now I'm the bad guy again. ~~sigh~~
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Help! Torn Mother (my mom) between to daughters (me nonJW and pioneer all faithful JW)
by Butterflyleia85 inmy mother's text: "she tried to love u and be ur sis and leave jw out but when she invited u to memorial like last year she was thinking all religions believe in dead of christ so she wanted u to know when it was and have an invite but u had to send her scriptures back and stuff instead of saying i dont feel comfortable goin... and u dont see it that way u blame it all on jw instead of taking some responsibility for trying or not trying but just hurting her with bring up stuff.
that hurts her.
she tried last summer remember she even went swimming with u and did things with u. it wasnt until she saw u post things and blame jw that she had to cut ties.".
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Butterflyleia85
thanks everyone. i am bring my son to mom's house today (she agreed to watch him when we have our baseball games on sundays). i feel it will be avoided subject like always. she only lets out her true feelings about jw subject through text. the whole thing started when mom text me about my sister being close to her grandma in law and how she passed away with her there. i'm sure it was hard for my sister. she only told mom about it (and like always mom tells me everything). i texted back mom sorry for her loss wish i could be there for her. but she made it clear through letter she wanted nothing to do with me, so please dn't talk about her unless it's an emergancy. i love her but it does no good reaching out to her.
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Help! Torn Mother (my mom) between to daughters (me nonJW and pioneer all faithful JW)
by Butterflyleia85 inmy mother's text: "she tried to love u and be ur sis and leave jw out but when she invited u to memorial like last year she was thinking all religions believe in dead of christ so she wanted u to know when it was and have an invite but u had to send her scriptures back and stuff instead of saying i dont feel comfortable goin... and u dont see it that way u blame it all on jw instead of taking some responsibility for trying or not trying but just hurting her with bring up stuff.
that hurts her.
she tried last summer remember she even went swimming with u and did things with u. it wasnt until she saw u post things and blame jw that she had to cut ties.".
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Butterflyleia85
My mother's TEXT: "She tried to love u and be ur sis and leave jw out but when she invited u to memorial like last year she was thinking all religions believe in dead of Christ so she wanted u to know when it was and have an invite but u had to send her scriptures back and stuff instead of saying I don’t feel comfortable goin… and u don’t see it that way u blame it all on jw instead of taking some responsibility for trying or not trying but just hurting her with bring up stuff. That hurts her. She tried last summer remember she even went swimming with u and did things with u. It wasn’t until she saw u post things and blame jw that she had to cut ties."
I'm speachless... So many things going through my mind. Why would she say that... I haven't texted back but for one, I only sent her one scripture. Two, I don't blame it ALL on jw... I blame the shunning part yes, I changed my beliefs so that henders my getting undisfellowshipped but claim my own idenity and not as a JW. Three, she only went once to the pool and she said she was being spontancious, I have invited her many times afterwards from that point on to come over or if I could hang out sometime, no responce!! She, my sister, just never texted back! Sooooooo.... That is all a big fat lie! How do I tell my mother calmly and without blowing up... I'm not mad just frusterated and hurt... it's like everything got twisted in her head and I am the bad guy!!
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3/15 WT- " Forget the Good Times you had Prior to being JW - Can't .........
by flipper in.......... trust your mind !
" yes, they actually said this in a wt study article entitled, " do not look at the things behind " .
i swear the wt society writers and leaders are getting even more controlling and manipulative !
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Butterflyleia85
It just doesn't seem fair... :(
Why can't there be a legel rule that any organization needs to inform their members the true and only the true when committing to their organization... like written documents and stuff... and be in trouble when with holding valuble information for their own good (mentally and physically).
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What was your life as a JW?
by tornapart inwere you a born-in or became one as an adult?
how long were you in for?
what made you realise it was all wrong?
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Butterflyleia85
Flicka I'm sorry you are so torn up about your spirituality. I understand the battle for sure. {huggs}
My grandparents were witnessed to back in their 20's so my parents were raised and us siblings were raised as well. I got baptised at 19 after high school because I didn't want to do it when all my witness friends did, I wanted to make sure I was doing it for me and not social reasons. I had stayed quiet and to myself through school so I didn't make really close 'worldly' friends and then decided I passed the peer presure test and I would be a pioneer with spiritual goals ahead.
It changed as my friends beckered and judged each other... they were all five years yonger then me hence why I felt maybe muturity level was in play. But eventually I asked myself... is this all life is about, I wanted more out of life. And things changed.