Oh and by the way, OTWO, I too have tried to read the Kingdom of Cults and I agree with you. I kinda skipped parts of it though or skimmed parts that didn't really pretain to JWs. It wasn't really what I was looking for and I really had a hard time agreeing with the author. He was very wordy and also had alot of points he just reiterated in different ways. I am still looking forward to the book Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz that Flipper suggested for me.
Butterflyleia85
JoinedPosts by Butterflyleia85
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My JW Best Friend
by OnTheWayOut ini have always said to those that had questions about fading that they should expect to lose their friends.
it seems that in the vast majority of cases, only family (and sometimes not even them) are willing to overlook jw-weakness and maintain relationships.
if you do keep a friend of a jw, then they are potentially deep into jw-weakness.
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Venting because my family is JWs and I'm not and treated different because of it!
by Butterflyleia85 inagain i wanted to make clear to my jw friends and family.
(pretending that they actually would come across this post and read this) i loved being a jehovah's witness when i was, i had pride, no regrets, and loving support.
do i feel i left that, do i feel i made a sin and had to pay for this by disfellowshipment being justified,... no and no.
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Butterflyleia85
Thank jamiebowers and flipper, yeah I was just in a bad mood Friday but this wkn went very well and cheered me up, I'm very fortunate to have my fiance, his a wonderful guy. We had a long conversation and I got to explain things to him. He said the same thing as you guys, my religion is/has cult like restrictions that intrap you. It doesn't give you freedom that you thought you had. He explained how his religion was and how many religions are. As long as I remember the basics and the fondation of my moral upbringing that is what counts. Nobody knows the actual TRUTH except God! He said we all can interpet the Bible differently, and how we interpet it should be our choice with faith in God that we are making the right decisions in life. God is a forgiving God, he said, and we have to have confidance in ourselves and forgive ourselves too. He was really incouraging and that's exactly what I needed.
I just get worried at times and have trouble not beating myself up. I have a problem of moving on from the past, I believe, especially when I see little things that I lost that ment so much to me. Thanks again everyone!
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My JW Best Friend
by OnTheWayOut ini have always said to those that had questions about fading that they should expect to lose their friends.
it seems that in the vast majority of cases, only family (and sometimes not even them) are willing to overlook jw-weakness and maintain relationships.
if you do keep a friend of a jw, then they are potentially deep into jw-weakness.
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Butterflyleia85
Wow I glad I came across this topic right now I was upset too by the same thing basicly. This makes me feel I have ppl that understand. Yeah That is hard sorry... I understand. It's so frustrating!
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DF'd Loyalists Who Face Blood Issue
by sd-7 inanyone know of a case of someone who was df'd, then had an emergency that required a blood transfusion?
let's say they're still loyal to wt and don't want it.
do the elders come to the hospital and stick up for them, or, because they're "no longer one of jehovah's witnesses", they just leave 'em to get pumped full of blood or to die by their own choice, since either way, they can't take judicial action anyway?
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Butterflyleia85
Wow I don't know either maybe I'd just take the blood and face the consiquences later. I mean what more could I screw up. I do holidays and it still gets at my conscience from time to time... taking blood to save my life... I think I would if my life depended on it. I know I say no, that's bad but I don't know how my conscience will be at that time.
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Have you Overcome Guilt & Fear Since Exiting Jehovah's Witnesses ?
by flipper inminimus had a great thread recently asking if any who were witnesses felt guilt as a jehovah's witness.
thought i would build on that a little dealing with how you have moved on after being a jehovah's witness ?.
one definition of guilt in the american heritage dictionary is : " self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing ".
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Butterflyleia85
These I can relate...
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Venting because my family is JWs and I'm not and treated different because of it!
by Butterflyleia85 inagain i wanted to make clear to my jw friends and family.
(pretending that they actually would come across this post and read this) i loved being a jehovah's witness when i was, i had pride, no regrets, and loving support.
do i feel i left that, do i feel i made a sin and had to pay for this by disfellowshipment being justified,... no and no.
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Butterflyleia85
I am "apostate" as far as disagreeing with Jehovah's Witness religion. But as far as an apostate toward God I am not. I don't really I guess understand the term apostate. But all I can say is it sounds bad and I am not bad or at least not anymore. I maybe bad in JW eyes but I can't change their mind and it's frustrating. I know how they feel but what I wish they knew is how it feels on this side. I was refering mainly from the past... but it just likes to come back and haunt me. Something us DF will just have to deal with I guess.
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Venting because my family is JWs and I'm not and treated different because of it!
by Butterflyleia85 inagain i wanted to make clear to my jw friends and family.
(pretending that they actually would come across this post and read this) i loved being a jehovah's witness when i was, i had pride, no regrets, and loving support.
do i feel i left that, do i feel i made a sin and had to pay for this by disfellowshipment being justified,... no and no.
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Butterflyleia85
Grow up didn't help me understand what to do about my feelings towards these. I just am venting. It will pass but it still hurts. And I kinda wanted to hear other simular stories as a reminder. (my life is fine and i am happy with my fiance and moved on from the big part... but I still get frustrated at times about how my family shuns me) Its hard seeing my fiance's family... I just not quite use too and then my family that likes to keep in touch and show they care but keep their distance... not because of past mistakes frm 4 years ago but because of the title "Disfellowshipped". I maybe just feeling sorry for myself again. sorry.
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Venting because my family is JWs and I'm not and treated different because of it!
by Butterflyleia85 inagain i wanted to make clear to my jw friends and family.
(pretending that they actually would come across this post and read this) i loved being a jehovah's witness when i was, i had pride, no regrets, and loving support.
do i feel i left that, do i feel i made a sin and had to pay for this by disfellowshipment being justified,... no and no.
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Butterflyleia85
Again I wanted to make clear to my JW friends and family. (Pretending that they actually would come across this post and read this) I loved being a Jehovah's Witness when I was, I had pride, no regrets, and loving support. Do I feel I left that, do I feel I made a sin and had to pay for this by Disfellowshipment being Justified,... no and no. I don't feel I left that; I feel they pushed me away and are still keeping me out of associating with you all, and I do not feel that being Disfellowshipped was a justified action; I feel it was like digging a finger in a wound. Who is to judge me as a "willfully practicing sinner" "willful wrong doer" or "willful violator"??? I maybe stubborn and I maybe headstrong sometimes (I was born on May 6 which is a Taurus lol) but I was NOT willfully commenting a sin because I just felt like it! And when you call someone something for a long time it's hard for the person to not to be influenced and call them that themselves or not end up going ahead and turning into that person called to be, by giving up their dignity. Make sense?? I was called to be a bad person, a person who did bad things. I though no I'm not, I am not that person! But after being judged and called this by what I considered people who should know what right and wrong is, I gave up and said ...yes I am a bad person, I do bad things... Overlooking my mother who knew me better, my sister who knew me better, my friends who knew me better, etc. I was convinced and overly sad. But did this change me for the better?? NO it made me become the person I hated most. I was excepting the evil and letting it consume me. Who do I blame not really the elders, I should have trusted in myself and stayed positive, they criticized me and then said, "You can change and God will forgive you, but the consequences {on top of what your body will go through as far as physically and mentally "reaping what you sow"} will be laying down more rules and restrictions to "help you stay clear of any temptation", and you will feel the sham and guilt when the privileges and trust will be taken away from you." Wow how loving and nice of you guys, I love punishment and loving judgement... I mean the scar I got from the guy that broke my heart wasn't enough, and the sham of losing my virginity wasn't enough either, oh no, give me move loving punishment, my friends would love to see me being announced at the hall "Sara has been publicly reproved", that was dandy can I have more loving punishment, no more going to bars or hanging out with "worldly friend", and if I am ever caught with a guy... oow how scary... Everyone wants to have loving punishment and feel like their not trusted! :) Bloody hell I was freaking 21 years old and now you can see why it lead to my DFment twice, I am stubborn and hard headed when I feel I am being held down and forced to be humble by men that call themselves loving and justified! Grrr... I could just scream. OK OK so clam down... that's why my JW family and friend side with the JW way of life is because they live in good morals, they control their temper, (or really just not publicly display this unhumble personality side, every JW knows at home it's all a different story), but where is this fair. Apostate I am not. But sometimes when I see my family reunion pictures and I'm not in them, I get so angry! Like just yesterday I found on facebook pictures my step mom put up of my sisters and brother, dad, step grandma, and other family... where was I? Why didn't I get to hear about this? Because I'm Disfellowshipped, I'm pissed! So I get the secret one and one contact. But collectively they stay firm with this Disfellowshipped thing. I guess I should be fortunitant for that little communication I get. But I still feel unjustified. Am I wrong for this? So what do I do?
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How Much of an Impact is Being Made by Young JW' s Leaving the Cult ?
by flipper inwe have read threads where statistics show that 2 out of every 3 people raised as jehovah's witnesses eventually leave once they get in their 20's to 30's and out on their own.
my children and my nieces and nephews are between the ages of 21 to 35 .
out of those 8 people - 4 of them have completely stopped attending meetings .
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Butterflyleia85
What have you noticed in your JW families and congregations ? Are young people getting out of the witnesses and exiting more than in previous years in what you have noticed personally ? What kind of impact will this have on the numbers decreasing possibly in the WT organization ?
Thanks Flipper for this post! I'm very happy currently. I'm engaged and have a new home that I love. My fiance is not a Jehovah's Witness and he treats me wonderfully. He went to College and has an awesome Job. He is now a first time home owner and taking great care of me. :)
Even though I got Disfellowshipped (resulting in regret, self pity, and sham), went through my melt down (throwing my morals out the window because of lost hope),shunned by most of family and friends (resulting in embarrassment, low self esteem), had allot of confusion (some JW family and friends talk to me sometimes not, "worldly" friends were there for me and up-building but negative about my treatment, exJW friends were judge-mental, hypocritical...confused themselves, either dragging you down or making you feel that life is OK and you are not alone), etc. I realized after twice getting Disfellowshipped that I tried, I worked hard, I felt regret, I made bad choices, I had problems, but I'm OK. You may not have what you wanted, you may not live the life you thought you would have before, you may not dream the same dream you once had, but life is not over and it actually has just began, I am free now to make my choices with understanding and experience. I am ALIVE and God gave me life, LIFE, not to waste it, not to take it for-granted, but to Blossom in the society around me... to LEARN and GROW.
As been mentioned before the Internet is a strong tool. There are curious ones and they will be exposed to things that will turn on a light bulb and bring many things to question... How will it be answered? What's the organization have to say about this? I'm going to ask the Elder at the hall! It will be interesting to see what responses they get from them. Will they be lectured or will they be answered with satisfaction.
My old best friend in the Jehovah's Witnesses Organization, I found out just recently got married to a worldly guy. This is not uncommon but what makes this crazy for me is that she is the smartest person I knew, very strong in Jehovah's Witness rules and belief, she was loyal and was a pioneer, she never did anything wrong in my eyes, very quiet, caring and loving friend. So to my surprise I found out she finished a four year college and got married to a worldly person. No way!
My sister and her husband both 19 are still Jehovah's Witnesses and going to meetings. They hold on with a strong thread. I don't understand why they don't get baptized or why they don't just quiet going. They are stuck in a comfort zone... enough that they won't talk to me often but enough that they hope to get baptized one day.
I have another friend who has a husband that got reinstated last year. She was disfellowshiped for the second time along with me. But her sin was crazy! Not telling names but if she thinks she can get reinstated, have relations with another man, and stay happily married, ha... she will defiantly reap what she sows!!
There are witness that hang out with disfellowshipped, non baptized that hang out with witness and disfellowshipped, and disfellowshipped that hang with disfellowshipped. It all OK until we get caught by nosy elders. Is it cool to hide? How long does this hiding have to go on? It's all ridiculous I think! People are going to do what they want in America with such freedom, people, the good and bad will be judge ultimately by God, why can we just let go of this Disfellowshipment and let people truly use their perspective powers as it were!
The organization I think is the most stubborn self righteous of them all. Sorry to say. They are not worthy but are being ridiculed because they are not looking into the mirror and not letting down the fact that yes they have good points but they are not the only right religion that ONLY has the path to everlasting life! I not say that I know all the answers and I know the right religion or path but I for certain after seeing evidance of what the organization has done to people, the unjust, and deceitful words of what they call justise, can say that they have no righteous council that comes from holy spirit and that what they have interpeted is what many other religions believe as well or have interpetations that have missing peices as well. But how would we know if we are urged not to look at other sources! It's all just a vicious game they play on their own people, to keep them in "The Village" a movie I thought was good and could relate too.
Will the decrease of people, youth, in the organization have an impact? I hope so. What kind of impact... is what I'm worried about.
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Anyone here ever experiment with lucid dreaming?
by JimmyPage inhave any success with it?
what helped you to be more in control of your dream world?
any interesting experiences?.
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Butterflyleia85
Heck ya I've done that! It's awesome! Sometimes very hard to control when your in the dream though. I usually wake up quite easly during that stage of sleep. Wow didn't know they had a name for it.
Usually I tell everyone in my dream world I have a real world and powers in this world. Flying is my strongest power usually I show off and fly around.
Dude it sounds dumb in this world when I talk about it but man I'm amazing in my dream world. lol