Grr! So damned nosy! Sorry you had to endure that, for the record I think your winter decorations are adorable.
Heartbreaker
JoinedPosts by Heartbreaker
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42
Well my "winter' yard decorations have caught the Elders attention !!!!!
by troubled mind inwow i guess the elders still do exisist !
i wasn't sure since they have only stopped by once in the last almost four yrs.. here is what has them all in a tissy........ i guess the lighted deer and lights on the railing screams christmas .....i was going for cheerful winter ,guess i overshot.. .
here is how the conversation went :.
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Pre-busted
by Heartbreaker ini mean, i can only imagine that's what i am.
i read a post here on my phone, and wish could remember who it was, to give credit, but i can not.
it was about the slow fade or some such, and the merits to just getting out, or doing it slowly.
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Heartbreaker
The history would be that my father is an admitted molester of his daughters, the other two, not me. I have flashbacks and memories consistant with either being touched, or I had a very vivid and compassionate imagination for my sisters. They sat us kids down a few months ago and apologized and made a big deal about how J-god fixed him, and how my mother is a forgiving person etc etc....and my sisters were all cooing with appreciation and whatever (throw up a little in your mouth right now, it's ok, I'll wait) and it was then that I confirmed that I was never coming back to the religion, and as for contact with my children, they'd just have to wait and see. I was in no hurry to make a decision on that.
Then we thought about moving to make that break be really easy and clear. That hasn't happened.
And they, my parents, mostly my mother, keep putting on the heat to make a plan on how they can still see the kids and have a relationship with them and see them. I still dont even know how comfortable I am with them being around me kids at all, much less "make a plan". Its all just sad, and hard because we were close and socialized a lot before my memories came back. Now whats known can't be unknown.
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Christmas dinner, my boys don't like ham, We are turkey'd out any ideas?
by restrangled inon top of that one of my sons is bringing home a girl friend who is flying over from austria.. i'm thinking maybe lasagna.
i'm pretty good at that, but it doesn't seem real traditional.
the beef is so bad around these parts, i don't dare do a crown roast and besides that cost around $60.00.. what is your favorite dinner?.
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Heartbreaker
Well this year we are doing a roasted goose, maybe duck. I'm not sure the sides to go with it, but am looking forward to making a plan. Good luck!
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Does The Name "Jehovah" Bother You?
by minimus inif you believe in "god" do you avoid using the name "jehovah"?
even if you don't accept a god, does using that name "jehovah" disturb you in any way?.
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Heartbreaker
I believe by using it, I am accepting that he exists, and has a face towards the witnesses, and agrees with how they've handled his name, his people, and his future. I can not accept that a god would like these people using the name Jehovahs Witnesses, or appreciate what they've done in his name. I feel very good being far away from those people, and am comforted by distance in that if a god comes and looks upon these people, I won't be mistaken as one of them. If Jehovah does exist and comes to act in the way we were all taught, then we are all screwed, each and every human on the Earth, because it's destined to fail. The whole thing, and everyone. So be it.
In everyday conversation I use the term JW's...spoken Jay Dubbayas. I try to refrain from using air quotes most of the time, out of respect for my husband.
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Pre-busted
by Heartbreaker ini mean, i can only imagine that's what i am.
i read a post here on my phone, and wish could remember who it was, to give credit, but i can not.
it was about the slow fade or some such, and the merits to just getting out, or doing it slowly.
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Heartbreaker
Thank you Baba!! Merry Christmas to you too!
We are rejoicing, for sure. Ive never felt so loved and supported as I have in the last week. It's mind blowing.
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Pre-busted
by Heartbreaker ini mean, i can only imagine that's what i am.
i read a post here on my phone, and wish could remember who it was, to give credit, but i can not.
it was about the slow fade or some such, and the merits to just getting out, or doing it slowly.
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Heartbreaker
Changeling...thank you...what I left out though is my family is insisting on having contact, and well with contact is guilt and feeling like I need to explain myself or make excuses. They won't let up. There is a lot of history there, but suffice it to say that I'm still no over being my own person.
I do however realize how lucky I am to have my husband and children all with me, and what a joy that is.
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Pre-busted
by Heartbreaker ini mean, i can only imagine that's what i am.
i read a post here on my phone, and wish could remember who it was, to give credit, but i can not.
it was about the slow fade or some such, and the merits to just getting out, or doing it slowly.
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Heartbreaker
I mean, I can only imagine that's what I am. So be it. I read a post here on my phone, and wish could remember who it was, to give credit, but I can not. It was about the slow fade or some such, and the merits to just getting out, or doing it slowly. I was talking to my ever hesitant husband (he's out, he's a SINNER...lol....just doesn't want to discuss all things JW anymore, despite being a raised in from toddlerhood) about the pros and cons of DAing. I told him that the more I think of it, the better DAing sounds because then you KNOW you don't need to worry about the occasional drop by, or nosy prying elders. You take that control mechanism they love to wield, and yank it away. You would sleep easier too I imagine. He said he didn't want to do that, but of course if I decided to, so be it. We don't tell eachother how to react. I explained that to go on doing what we do, and then get caught, have an inquisition, allow the elders to decide our status and announce us....no thank you! He could see the point, but just doesn't want to discuss it, or act in one way or another. We did a rapid fire fade back in the summer after a few months of sporadic at best attendance.
SO...the way I'm assuming I'm pre-busted is this. I have a few family members on my Facebook page. A couple cousins that are JWs but live out of state, sister who's the most dedicated thrice disfellowshipped person I've ever met, her 2 teenagers that are completely worldy but still attend with their mom to live at home, and a niece that's out, but is still in contact with her mom and sister that are totally in. And a life long friend's husband who is not a JW, but she is. I went to the store to get dinner, and my teenage daughter thought she was so helpful in adding a video and 4 photos of our family decorating a tree that I didn't know we'd ever have. It was donated to us, my husband has been out of work for the better part of the year, and we just didn't have the extra to spend on starting fresh in a holiday like Christmas (and my husband wasn't really ready, see above) but my youngest childs teacher got together with a few other teachers and friends and donated a 8 foot tree to our family, almost 100 ornaments multiple strings of lights, and about 45 wrapped presents. Never in my life have I ever been at the receiving end of such absolute love, caring, and charitable works. I was teary eyes and appreciative, and it was so awesome to set that tree up (fake) and watch the kids come in and see about 1/2 the gifts under the tree, all wrapped, and let them open them all up and help decorate. The other half are hidden, marked from Santa. How can I be mad at my daughter for adding those to my page? So people are commenting on it, and I'm sure it's been the buzz all around the country, given the people that are in that've seen it, and I'm half nervous, half don't give a sh%t. I think the half that cares is in respect for my husband, and his feelings.
Opinions? Advice? Wanna be my friend on Facebook?
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An apostate Christmas carol
by parakeet insung to "rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer.".
rudolph, the red-faced elder.
had a very active nose.. he used to sniff out trouble,.
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Heartbreaker
Parakeet! I LOVE it! So creative :)
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Frustrated with the JW in law sitch
by bluesapphire inso my husband rarely talks to his sister and never talks to his mom.
his sister, brother in law and mom will have nothing to do with me because 10 years ago when i left the jws they heard rummors (gossip) that i was apostate.. husband is totally apostate too by their standards but they ignore what they don't want to see.
he celebrates all the holidays, goes to church, celebrates birthdays and bad mouths the wts all the time.. well sister in law calls this morning and he is on the phone with her for one hour.
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Heartbreaker
Blue Sapphire, I totally understand where you are coming from. My brother in law has lableled me the Jezebel Whore, and is convinced that my husband should leave me and take our children because I'm evil. I am not exaggerating in the least. His brother will call, they'll talk, shoot the shit, and never bring me up. A while back there was something unsavory said about me, and my husband said I was not ever to be a topic of conversation, so I took that as a good reason I wasn't discussed....UNTIL.
I found out that everyone once in a while the brother will make a jab at me, and then he's warned that they don't discuss me, and things are tense and then it blows over. I, like you, am pissed that the brother gets his digs, and then my husband still talks to him. In my mind he's winning. I hate every minute of it.
We are newly faded, and my husband doesn't really take part in any holidays, but is totally physically out of the ORG. I feel bad about making it feel like he has to chose me over his sicko brother, but I feel worse when I sit by undefended.
Totally not helping here, just commiserating.
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Why do Ex-JWs start celebrating pagan Christmas?
by DubR inhiya guys and gals.
im not trying to be self-righteous but i want to understand the thought process of someone who knows the origins of christmas, but starts celebrating it (putting up christmas tree, exchanging wrapped gifts; repeating merry christmas to everyone they see in the month of december)??
it seems very silly to me (imo) after knowing how and why christmas was created (to cater to pagans sun worship and convert to christianity)!!
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Heartbreaker
I figure if I told my children about Santa, for what, 7 years and then they found out, OOOOPS, it's really mom and dad!!! They are still way better off than I was for believing I'd have a pet Panda and my own Zebra before I had children myself.
So whats more harmful, lying about a vengeful Jehovah that will decide on a whim whether he loves you, or whether you've loved him and served him enough, and lying about a Paradise, a new system, or a lie of a jolly old man who loves making children happy bringing wrapped shiny presents? You tell me.
And for the record, my children do not think Santa is real, they know it's a Hallmark holiday, and it's all about getting stuff, we've never celebrated, and totally would this year if we could afford to, which we can't. We WILL celebrate next year though, and will have lights, and presents, and a tree, because we CAN, and because it doesn't mean anything pagan or religious to our family, children specifically, and we will not try to tell them Santa is real, but rather the spirit of the story IS real, and it's good. Love your life, love your family, love your friends, have fun.