Funny that noone mentioned the current generation teaching in this thread. I find this the most hilarious current teaching. There were funnier in the past, but right now this takes the crown. It just boggles the mind the audacity of the GB to give a common word a new meaning, and say that this was evidently what Jesus meant by it.
Posts by teel
-
37What Are Your Favorite WT Quotes/Teachings? Most Ridiculous or Hilarious Ones.
by mentallyfree31 inwhen you look back over the 130 year history of wt, what is the most bizzare/ridiculous/hilarious/absurd teaching or quotes that you have found?.
one of the ones i find hilarious is during the beth-sarim affair, rutherford announced that the world was laughing and mocking them because they don't believe the resurrection is going to come to pass when they said it was.
rutherford went on to say in effect "we will show them when people start coming back from the graves"... lol.
-
-
-
3
From Professor to Pioneer
by snowbird inwouldn't that be a great title for an awake!
or wt article?.
tee hee hee.. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/193679/1/from-pioneer-to-professor-my-story.
-
-
teel
Laverite's story should have started something like this (imagine this in italic, font size 14, first letter bold and huge, but I don't want to mess with formatting here):
"I was standing there with an invitation to teach in the college in my hand, and thinking what would be the best course of life for me: spreading knowledge of truth, or wasting my life as a pioneer for a cult. But let me tell you how I got there."
-
1
Short Guide To Religions
by teel injust saw this again, i think it wasn't posted here before: http://www.ajokes.com/jokes/861.html.
short guide to religions .
taoism: shit happens.
-
-
teel
Just saw this again, I think it wasn't posted here before: http://www.ajokes.com/jokes/861.html
Short Guide To Religions
Taoism: Shit happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah
Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?!
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you're bad.
Har Krisna: Shit happens, Rama Rama!
T.V. Evangelism: Send more shit!!
Atheism: No shit.
Jehovah's Witness: Knock knock, shit happens.
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happenin'.
Christian Science: Shit Happens in your mind.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Existentialism: What is shit anyway?
Stoicism: This shit doesn't bother me.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit! -
9
JW Pioneer That Has Baptized Over 100 People!
by mentallyfree31 inthere is a sister in my former kh that has helped over 100 people to baptism.
she is a genuinely nice person, and a very low key person.
she is pretty much fairly quiet and keeps to herself.
-
-
teel
I sure wouldn't like to be in her place if that happened. I'm really happy I haven't brought anyone in; being guilty of making a whole congregation of idol worshipping drones would be almost too much to bear.
For a while I was actually hoping maybe my parents will join, now I thank God they didn't. Now they know from me the insides of this cult too, and I am absolutely positive they find even the thought of joining repulsive.
-
33
Comment on Loneliness
by jgnat inone of the great lessons this board gave me is the cruelty of shunning by the jehovah's witnesses.
it is inhuman.
the toll it takes on a person cannot be underestimated.
-
-
teel
How I envy those who can find friends easy. It's a funny situation really - there's a big corporation built around finding a mate, if you are so inclined you can probably hook up with someone of opposite sex (or even of same sex if you're into that) by the weekend party. But there's no easy way of finding friends (except joining a cult ). This is general for everyone, and us being taught that everything "in the world" is dirty is making that a lot more difficult.
I'm currently actively searching for opportunities for varied get-togethers, even went so far that I joined my company's football team, even though I can't even start to describe how bad I play. It's still an opportunity to be with others. You have to start somewhere... hopefully it will be easier in time. The indoctrination isolated me from others for years, I prefered to avoid social contact with "worldlies"; now my aquaintances see me as antisocial - I probably became a bit antisocial too meanwhile, but I'm working on that now.
-
25
Close Encounters of the JW Kind...
by Jim_TX inthis morning (like many other mornings) i went to the local 'stop-n-shop' to get my wife a pint - of milk.
she likes to drink a bit of milk during the day.. anyway, on my way back to the vehicle - as i got in and was reaching for the key to start it up... an elderly lady (well... probably about my age - sheesh!
) with grey hair, approached my car with a handfull of magazines - and said something along the lines of.... 'pardon me sir,...'.
-
-
teel
They're trained not to listen to the people they talk to...they talk AT them, with memorized little speeches.
That is so true. Remember those rehearsed little speeches in Kingdom Ministry? That goes on like "... what do you think about the current state of the world? [Wait for his answer] Let me show you what the Bible says...". It completely doesn't matter what the person told you. You were not there to talk, you were there to have them listen to you.
-
6
Lowell Community Responds To Kingdom Hall Criticism
by Bangalore inlowell community responds to kingdom hall criticism.. http://kezi.com/news/local/173983.
bangalore.
.
-
-
teel
Most of the non-witnesses are not actively supportive, so it's obvious it's JWs comments. The majority of the people are completely neutral, the most they say is "they're good people, they keep their church clean..." and that's that. They won't go to forums to defend them, because they don't know if the accusations are true or not, and they have no interrest to research.
-
6
During pregnancy, is the mothers blood in any way passed onto the baby?
by God_Delusion ini ask this because if it is, then why even bother saying that people should abstain from blood?.
if you could answer this for me, using sources, it would be a great help.. .
carlos.
-
-
teel
Noo light: all babies will be shunned until they express repentance of their sinful way.
-
77
DC 2010 Releases and info
by JWFreak insorry i have been very busy and forgot.
as promised.
friday afternoon.
-
-
teel
Oh man, and my DC just moved from my town. I would have liked to listen how they sweat trying to explain the mess of the generation, but I can't be arsed to travel so far just for that.
-
22
Convention talk 2010 ...
by iknowall558 inaulani alohajehovah's witness mind diddling testamonials: this is insane!
outline of a 2010 district convention talk from the symposium, "remain in .
the secret place of the most high".
-
-
teel
True Sapphy, Joseph's brothers were not two overlapping groups, they were one single generation, born around the same time - the age difference between them was not more than 20 years, and the Bible, unlike JWs, uses correctly the term generation, just as defined in the encyclopedia: "A familial generation is defined as the average time between a mother's first offspring and her daughter's first offspring. The generation length is 25.2 years in the United States as of 2007[2] and 27.4 years in the United Kingdom as of 2004."
Which reminds me: shouldn't we make an entry under Wikipedia's Generation page? If worded correctly it could be accepted in "Other generations", because this usage of the term is unique to JWs, so it's worth mentioning. The point would be that readers would see the weirdness of the religion, redefining words so it needs to suit them better.