Sacolton-yes, I hate the whole organization=Jehovah thought process. Its emotional extortion. There is no debate with these people.
Sapphy- Thank you, I hope the best for you too!
Wobble- Thanks for your thoughts. Its crazy how I'm on a message board looking for other people's thoughts! I always viewed people on message boards as kooky LOL, now look at me. Can't believe this. I've been lurking here a good 2-3 years now, and posting for about six months or so. Your right, its a tremendous help to read other people's thoughts and experiences. I'm a fairly busy person between work, and congregational matters, so I don't always have the time to come here, but when I do, I enjoy every second of it. Like wow, you mean there are other people out there too, questioning this JW thing.
The Elders I serve with, are actually ok guys, and most of them really do have life experiences. I truly do respect and love them, at least most of them anyway. However, I can't share my thoughts too much in depth with them, because we all know where that leads. I just have to keep my mouth shut. My parents will keep their mouth shut due to our family always being a "what goes on in the family, stays in the family" group, so I'm not too much worried about them ratting me out. Plus at this age in their lives, they need me. I have siblings too, who will help out, but at this time I'm in the best position to help them with everything and anything. But Wobble, again thank you.
The Present Truth- you figured it out way before I ever could have. Its just a bunch of things to do with this organization. Its never ending. The more you do, the more they want you to do. At a certain point, you stop and say to yourself, "wait a minute." Some of it is truly enjoyable, but then again there are days at my "day job" when I can say I had an exceptionally good day or week for that matter. But whats it all worth in the end? Nothing. I've noticed that when I run into other Religious types, I've found that the ones who say Jesus name several times throughout the course of a conversation seem to be the only truly happy people I've ever come across as far as Christian groups are concerned. Granted some of them are nuts, and thats evident by the glazed Risperdal Induced look in their eyes. But many others truly are mentally stable, and happy to boot. The only time I can say I've felt the same in this organization, is when I've helped people either with a Bible dealing with some emotional issue, or when doing things for the older ones in the congregation.
I was in FS during the summer one day, and while working a block, I saw a group of University students doing volunteer cleanup, and I thought to myself for a moment, "thats what I need to be doing." Whether it be helping homeless, or disadvantaged. I'm fascinated with all the people going to Haiti to help out. They're doing it because they want to, not being coerced or having a heavy guilt trip laid upon them. I never realized until stepping out of the JW way of thinking that there is a ton of good that we can choose to do following Christ's example. It all gives glory to Jah. It doesnt always have to be done on Saturday mornings, Sunday mornings, and Thursday evenings either. Thanks Present Truth.
Ziddina- Thanks for your input. As a teenager I did the "double life" thing for a while, and even briefly as a young adult, and I have to say, I have some good memories that didnt all involve sin. As an adult JW, I can't say I look forward to anything anymore. Its all just misery, the whole thing. Feel as if I'm going to explode someday. Just stand up in the middle of a public talk, and just yell, convulse, foam at the mouth, curse, etc.. A few months ago, at my job, we had an intern that came through, and we didnt have the space to hire him at the time, so we took him out to eat after work. Guess what night it was? A meeting night. I didnt have any parts or anything that really needed addressed at the KH, so I blew the meeting off. And it felt SO GOOD!!! My boss, whom I think I have a crush on, told me she was so surprised to see me out with them as I never go to anything they do after work. I told her I'm trying to break out of being so reserved socially, and that I enjoyed myself. She told me she wished I hadnt been so quiet. I reassured her that I had a good time being with them. I didnt tell her, but the reality is, it felt good, yet strange being with all these "worldy" people at a bar/resteraunt when I should have been at the meeting. Yet, the people I was with, didnt curse, didnt speak anything immorral but instead about their kids, or classes, all of them are church going people, a couple of them do volunteer work, etc.. And here I was feeling guilty for spending too much time with them. It's really bizarre isnt it? Zidinna, thanks.
thanks for all your input, I'm at work, so its hard for me respond immediately, but thanks for all your input. Thanks to everyone on this board in general. I feel like I'm giving shout outs, like I'm a rapper or something. too many people to thank.
