Born in, 1960.
Did the baptism questions, 1975.
Refused to be baptized, 1976.
Last meeting attended, 1979.
Last convention, 1980.
Since then, it's been funerals only.
Jankyn
Jankyn
JoinedPosts by Jankyn
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23
Discipline for Lying -- Opinions Please
by adelmaal inour daughter is 10 and she is in 4th grade.
she has been having a tough time this year with schoolwork and she has started early puberty (boobs, acne, pubic hair, crushes on boys, etc.).
recently, we have been having problems with her lying to us and making up stories/excuses.
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Jankyn
I'm going to argue against "discipline" here.
In my experience, parents often overreact to children's lying. And punishment doesn't discourage lying (as my JW mother learned), it simply teaches kids that they need to do a better job of lying. (I also think that JWs overreact so extremely to lying by their children because, on some level, they know that so much of what they believe is a lie--but that's another topic.)
Underneath every lie is a fear. Punishing fear only makes it worse. Fears should be confronted and comforted.
So, when your daughter--or anyone--lies to you, ask, "What are you afraid of?" Deal with the fear. Reassure her of your love and your willingness to help her face her fears. If she has nothing to fear from you, she won't lie to you.
I have found that the only times I am tempted to lie is when I am frightened--that I won't get what I want, that I'll lose what I have, that I'm not good enough as I am. If I deal with the fear directly, it's not necessary to lie. (The exception here being social lies--there's no way to do anything but lie when your best friend asks, "Does this skirt make my butt look big?")
It would be another matter entirely if your child were routinely lying for no reason--sociopathic lying aimed simply at manipulating or controlling others. But if your child is able to form emotional attachments to people and pets, she's not a sociopath. She's just emotional and afraid (which is to be expected in adolescence, as so many have pointed out).
Best,
Jankyn
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Seeker4 Invited to a Committee Meeting Tonight
by Seeker4 inyup, they are going ahead with it.
i spent most of yesterday, sunday, writing what turned out to be a 10 page letter to the body of elders about why i feel they are out of line in seeking to disfellowship me (for those new to this situation, i've been seperated from my wife and living with another woman for the past six months.
i've not been an active witness for a decade.).
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Jankyn
Hang in there, Seeker4. And keep up the good work. I really enjoyed reading your stuff when I lived up in your neck of the woods a few years back.
Best,
Jankyn
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Mum acknowledged my Bday - for the 1st time
by misspeaches inyesterday i turned 30.
(i am so wise now.
) being startled enough that i came to this age so damned quickly was nothing compared to hearing from my mother.
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Jankyn
Happy birthday, Miss Peaches!!!
My mother has always called on my birthday--she doesn't say "Happy Birthday," but she generally says something about it. Funny how even a life-long JW can't quite pass on the birthday remembrance.
Hope you enjoy your 30s...mine were great.
Best,
Jankyn
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16
Community Service and the JW's
by startingover ina florists went to a barbershop for a haircut and went to pay the barber when he was done.
the barber thought that was very nice.
later that afternoon a cop came in for a haircut when he was finished he went to pay the barber but again the barber said he couldn't accept payment since he was doing community service.
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Jankyn
Along the lines of this discussion, I remember when my dad was out of work (but since he was df'd, no one in the congregation much cared).
A relatively "new" sister brought over a box of groceries (including treats for us kids). Now, my mother's family had been "in da Troof" since Rutherford's day, but I remember being so surprised that she would do that for us. No one else had ever done that, to my memory.
Takes someone still "close to the world" to just do the kind thing, I guess.
Jankyn (still remembering that chocolate and the very kind sister)
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need to vent - just got off phone with mom
by jaredg inman i hate the predicament that this religion has put me in.
i love my mom so much and to hear her cry is the worst thing in the world.
it's so frustrating when she thinks that things are so bad b/c i'm dfd.
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Jankyn
Jared--
Hang in there, kiddo. I think the advice given here is top-notch. If you express your willingness to be there for them--"love bomb" them, in your words--then sooner or later, their natural love for you will win out. It may not be complete; that is, they may never really give up on "bringing you back to the Truth," but they will continue to love you.
And the more you set an example of being honest and loving, the more they have to contrast with the dishonest and unloving organization.
Best,
Jankyn
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39
Just sitting here thinking of Mulan and Big Red
by ozziepost inand sending the love of mrs ozzie and myself in your difficult time.
any news?
ozzie
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Jankyn
My love to Mulan, Big Red, Princess, Steve and all the rest of the family.
Jankyn
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2
Great new book
by Jankyn ini just finished reading leaving the saints: how i lost the mormons and found my faith by martha beck.
beck is a regular columnist for o magazine (oprah's mag).
the book details how she survived sexual abuse in her home (at the hands of her father, a big-shot mormon scholar), and how she eventually left the mormon church.
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Jankyn
I just finished reading Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith by Martha Beck. Beck is a regular columnist for O magazine (Oprah's mag).
The book details how she survived sexual abuse in her home (at the hands of her father, a big-shot Mormon scholar), and how she eventually left the Mormon church. She has a lot of inside information, and although there are some differences between the Mormon structure and the JW structure (most notably the size and money involved), there are a lot of similarities as well.
I particularly liked the way she described her spiritual journey in recovery. This may be a helpful book for survivors.
Best,
Jankyn
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16
Comments You Will Not Hear At the 2-20-05 WT Study (Late Posting)
by blondie incomments you will not hear at the february 20, 2005 wt study (january 15, 2005)
will be in black and parentheses ().
wt quotes from today?s wt will be in red and quotes "".
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Jankyn
Blondie:
Excellent work as usual. I especially enjoyed the "blast from the past" article about Jesus wearing a beard; I was a child of eight when this "new light" dawned, and I remember the ruckus. There was quite a bit of the "aren't we glad that things keep getting clearer" talk in my congregation.
I was quite confused by the whole thing and annoyed the older folks in the congregation to no end with my questions about WHY we didn't know Jesus had a beard until now, and how were we going to apologize to all the people who we'd told he didn't? In particular, I'd made quite a fuss about my "worldly" great aunt's picture of Jesus--the traditional blonde, blue-eyed, bearded Christ--and was concerned about how I was going to apologize.
I was more disturbed than relieved at being told I didn't have to apologize; I can't really remember the logic used, but my mother said, "Just don't mention it again." The beginning of the end of my trust in the WTBS, that's for sure. And now I recognize that my great aunt, with all her patience, love and generosity, was one of the truest Christians I ever knew, bless her heart.
Jankyn
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12
What is their excuse?
by bagpuss ini've recently been looking at examples of how the wts misquote sources to support their theories,often omitting large portions of a quote.. one that made me angry was a quote in the reasoning book on page 89 under the subject of cross.
here is the quote,the omitted parts highlighted.. "the greek word for cross, stauros, properly signified a stake, an upright pole, or a piece of paling, on which anything might be hung, or which might be used in impaling (fencing in) a piece of ground.
but a modification was introduced as the dominion and usages of rome extended themselves through greek speaking countries.
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Jankyn
The National Enquirer is what we call a "supermarket tabloid." The most outrageous offer photos of alien babies, two-headed calves, fat bearded ladies, etc. Most of these rags focus on celebrity gossip, dieting fads, that kind of brain candy. On occasion (as with the Gary Hart affair that knocked him out of the running for the Democratic nomination for president in 1987) they get the goods on somebody in public office and run with it. Usually, though, it's just rumors and trash.
Jankyn, inveterate reader of trash in supermarket checkout lines.