man i hate the predicament that this religion has put me in. i love my mom so much and to hear her cry is the worst thing in the world. it's so frustrating when she thinks that things are so bad b/c i'm DFd. i try to tell her that things aren't as bad as she would make them out to be and that we can get past this together. i want her to see that she has all the power in the world and that if she wants to have a relationship w/ me she can regardless of what the WTS says. but she feels so powerless and she blames all of her sadness on me whilei balme the WTS. it kills me!! i'm frustrated and sad. i even tlaked about going back to meetings to try and get reinstated just to make her and dad happy. but the closer i got to actually going back the more stress built up in my life. i can't handle the stress of getting reinstated just to take away the DF label. it's not honest and i'd be getting reinstated for the wrong reasons. she doesn't understand why i'm not getting reinstated. she says things like "why do you think the JWs are so bad" and "just get reinstated and things will be better you'll see." it's so hard to reason w/ someone who has a totally different reality. man things are just so f****d up!!
need to vent - just got off phone with mom
by jaredg 50 Replies latest jw friends
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Odrade
very sad. She is powerless to the concept of the label they have put on you. You are df'd so she thinks she has no choice.
I'm sorry Jared.
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confusedjw
Hang in there. Keep telling her you love her.
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jaredg
it sucks. she's so unhappy and she thinks it's because of me. she says that i'm being selfish and i don't love her and dad anymore. that hurts!
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confusedjw
You could ask her if there was anything that the WT could do that would convince herthat they weren't god's channel. Anything at all.
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jaredg
yeah and that's the big kicker. i kept repeating myself to her that the main disagreement that we have is that the WTS has authority from god. i don't believe it so i don't see a reason to get reinstated where as she feels that for her to have a normal relationship w/ me would be a sin against god. i told her that i loved her many times and that i need to hear her tell me that she loves me too.
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Valis
man things are just so f****d up!!
yes, but what the really f**cked up part about it is that you aren't being selfish. Your mother refuses to let you lead your own life and for a parent that is the most selfish thing in the world to do to a child. Stick to your guns and live your life without that kind of guilt. Your have already expressed love to her and the ball is in her court, not your's.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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Whiskeyjack
Hang in there man.
Same problem with my mum (she and my father are at retirement age). The best arguement she can come up with is "well, it has to be the truth-what else is there?". Over the years, she has adjusted her behaviour to at least "agree to disagree" and we just avoid religious topics when we converse. A partial relationship is better than none at all.
W.
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jaredg
thanks valis...that means a lot to me.
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JW83
Hi Jared, I agree! Stick to your guns because it is called emotional blackmail. You have to be true to yourself & it takes a bit of strength to do that, but you never know - they might come to realise that a relationship with you is worth more than the approval of their cong! Good luck!