So while I'm symbolicly burning at the stake for hericy, my wife is getting consoled by the very priests that lit the match
Are the elders consoling her when you are not present? Their role is to be only (spiritual) counselors, not (emotional) confidantes. Quoting the society's policy manual (emphasis is mine):
"Usually it is best to have both mates present. If only one is present, discuss only what he or she can do to improve the situation."
"It is important never to meet alone with a sister who ... is in a delicate emotional state."