JAVA

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Posts by JAVA

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  7

  Undoing the Damage

  by Amber Rose in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so, i was reading this thread http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/150394/1.ashx about psychological damage caused by being raised as a jw.

  most seem to agree that yes, jw indoctrination is damaging to children.

  so here is my question: what do we do about it?

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  JAVA

  What have you personally done to heal yourself?

  Amber Rose -- I like your name; we have a nice restrant in town with the same name.

  Time has a way of healing, and if you do a little something with that time, all the better. I spent about 20 years in the Tower, and I've been out for another 20. I think it's fair to say the longer a person is in, the longer it takes to return to something called normal. I took a few courses at the university, met some fun and interesting people along the way, and before I knew it, finished a 4-year degree. It helped to refocus and direct energy in a worth while way.

  That worked for me, but it might not be for everyone. It's like you said, there isn't a "one-size-fits-all" fix. However, filling the void with something that benefits you is far better than sitting around feeling sorry about the years wasted in the Watchtower Society.
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  68

  What was the 1st thing you did that wasn't allowed after leaving the JW's?

  by cognac in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i haven't left.... 1 thing while i'm actually in is being here though.... i'm happy here.

  i actually feel for the first time really "right" about something... .

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  JAVA

  One of the first things I did was vote. My JW spouse found out, and told the elders; they disfellowshipped me within the week.

  Not long thereafter I started taking classes at the university. With a degree in hand, I can tell you that was one of the best things I did after exiting the tower. Oh yeah, I also divorced the JW spouse that couldn't wait to tell the elders about my sin of voting. Who needs someone like that in the house?
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  340

  Post your photos time!!!

  by dobbie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't think we've had one for a while, i can't find the last one anyway!

  so just to satisfy my curiosity it would be great to see some of your photos, of you, your family even your pets (they're family too!

  ) then i'll know if any of you do look like your avatars cos that's what i'm always wondering!

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  JAVA

  I'm still trying to figure out how to copy pictures, and hope this works.

  This was taken last year at work.
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  23

  JW-Values Anyone?

  by JAVA in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we have a discussion group of 8 or 9 people that meets at our house every 4 to 6 weeks.

  weve been doing this over 5 years and gotten to know each other fairly well.

  during our last salon a few spoke of religious values that carried over even though they are no longer members of their former religion.

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  JAVA

  "interpersonal skills from having to talk to complete f'kin strangers at their houses...confident public speakers etc.." ness -- Yeah, I think that could be something we take with us after leaving. I think that's more skill than value, but it's a good point. BTW, welcome to the forum!
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  23

  JW-Values Anyone?

  by JAVA in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we have a discussion group of 8 or 9 people that meets at our house every 4 to 6 weeks.

  weve been doing this over 5 years and gotten to know each other fairly well.

  during our last salon a few spoke of religious values that carried over even though they are no longer members of their former religion.

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  JAVA

  joannadandy -- The two former Church of the Brethren folks are still active in various Social concerns in our community. The former Catholic member is very family focused, and is an International Adoption Specialist. Both of these religious groups focus on these themes, and they carried over with these members of our discussion group. David -- I agree with your thoughts about being able to spot a con, thanks to our being victims of the Watchtower con. I guess that could be counted as a +, but it seems to fall short compaired to the former Church of the Brethren and Catholic members of our group.
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  23

  JW-Values Anyone?

  by JAVA in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we have a discussion group of 8 or 9 people that meets at our house every 4 to 6 weeks.

  weve been doing this over 5 years and gotten to know each other fairly well.

  during our last salon a few spoke of religious values that carried over even though they are no longer members of their former religion.

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  JAVA

  Seeing someone litter bugs me about as much as watching JWs dragging themselves from door-to-door. As Steve2 and poppers points out, littering might not necessarily be a leftover JW value because many people have that value anyway. However, I'm certain the negative reaction I have when spotting JWs on the street is a result of being a former JW. Sometimes I feel sorry for them, and at other times I get ticked. I'm don't think this is a carryover "value," but more of a negative reaction.
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  23

  JW-Values Anyone?

  by JAVA in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we have a discussion group of 8 or 9 people that meets at our house every 4 to 6 weeks.

  weve been doing this over 5 years and gotten to know each other fairly well.

  during our last salon a few spoke of religious values that carried over even though they are no longer members of their former religion.

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  JAVA

  Thanks for all the comments everyone. I wondered if it was just me, or if others drew a blank on JW-values that has been a possitive influence in their life after exiting. I don't have much "patience" Lisa, but I'm pleased for you. However, I have a hunch that you have that quality with or without the JW history. :) Parakeet, your comment had me rolling with laughter. I went to college too, WTW, and the $ociety was right--Student loans are evil! Thanks again everyone.
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  23

  JW-Values Anyone?

  by JAVA in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we have a discussion group of 8 or 9 people that meets at our house every 4 to 6 weeks.

  weve been doing this over 5 years and gotten to know each other fairly well.

  during our last salon a few spoke of religious values that carried over even though they are no longer members of their former religion.

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  JAVA

  We have a discussion group of 8 or 9 people that meets at our house every 4 to 6 weeks. We’ve been doing this over 5 years and gotten to know each other fairly well. During our last salon a few spoke of religious values that carried over even though they are no longer members of their former religion. Two members were Church of the Brethren, and another was Catholic, and they feely talked about some values that carried over into their lives today as non-church members. I couldn’t think of anything in my JW baggage I considered a value worth sharing with the group. What JW values have others on this forum taken with them as ex-JWs? Am I the only one that drew a blank?
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  62

  August KM provides solid evidence of declining JW morale

  by sir82 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as you may or may not recall, the february '07 km (for the us) had a huge article, taking up the full 4 page insert, on the "blessings" of auxiliary pioneering.

  the part covering that insert took up the entire service meeting (aside form the announcements).

  the "encouragement" was that the us branch had set a goal of 160,000 auxiliary pioneers for the month of april ("if only one of every 6 publishers signs up, we can make it!")..

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  JAVA

  Great news though, be better if they missed the mark by a 100%. We can only wish for better results during the next campaign!

  If the publishers spent the same hours knocking on doors as the Governing Body the goal would be missed by 100%. Lets hope the rank-n-file follows the example of the GB next time around.
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  21

  WOW! Look at this up coming Questions From Readers!

  by deaconbluez in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  JAVA

  LOL--Great work and a fun read. It really warmed my bookbag!