I was always curioius WHY things would change...if God is 'solid' and constant - and JWs represent him - then things would be SOLID and CONSTANT within that religion. That always threw me off. And maybe I'm retarded, but all the Watchtower articles with dates....UGH!!!!!!! I always tuned out during those because I felt like they were just spewing figures to confuse everyone.
babygirl30
JoinedPosts by babygirl30
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35
As A JW Did You Care About Old JW History, Old Light & Flip Flops?
by minimus ini used to look at the old stuff as info that the witnesses were progressively understanding.
i didn't hold it against the witnesses if they changed understandings because after all the 'light was getting brighter and brighter".. as time went on, it did start effecting me.
there were too many things i'd let slide by when i was younger that i just couldn't ignore any longer.
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JWs: Dress Like a Nerd. You'll arouse "curiosity" per Oct, 2009 KM
by Open mind inon this week's service meeting there's a q&a for an article about informal witnessing (tm).
the second paragraph recommends dressing modestly at all times so you're ready to witness at a moment's notice.
it even says that your neat & clean appearance may arouse "curiosity".. .
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babygirl30
That's all u get!!!!! -
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JWs: Dress Like a Nerd. You'll arouse "curiosity" per Oct, 2009 KM
by Open mind inon this week's service meeting there's a q&a for an article about informal witnessing (tm).
the second paragraph recommends dressing modestly at all times so you're ready to witness at a moment's notice.
it even says that your neat & clean appearance may arouse "curiosity".. .
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babygirl30
HAHAHAHA! my mom used to ALWAYS be in my ear about 'dressing modestly' so that I didn't draw unnecessary attention to myself. Well let's see here: I'm almost 6ft tall, thin, long hair, and 'busty'....yeah....NOT gonna get any attention there! :-(
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So my elder/dad says he will shun me....i figured as much...
by oompa inso i know many of you guys say the best way to show dubs is to be all happy and all when you exit.....but not all of us are doin that well at it....even though i have lost all friends from my dub life....i really dont want to lose my son and folks....this would happen if i end this odd and painful arrangement of a marriage to a really wonderful wife who is hardcore jw.
my desire for freedom and normal social life, and the 800 lb gorilla in the room we live with are not doing so well...........i am tired of having to leave the house and go in the garage to talk on the phone with my non-dub friends.....tired of totally separate social lives.......tired of rules in place that prevent us from speaking about certain taboo topics with each other........my mental/emotional state is not well and has not been for four years.
so i spoke with my dad very openly and honestly about how i have had to wear "masks" through life....one for school since third grade to fit in....another for my parents and jw friends........and that now i still lead a double life when not around my wife........told him outright i feel jws meet every single definition of a cult btw.......he already knew i felt that way but had never said it so directly........i asked him if he felt history repeats itself and could fds not be just like the scribes and pharisees that made so many rules for gods people that they had actually corrupted gods message............he said he has wondered that before too.
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babygirl30
I'm sorry you are going through this...the loss of my family (although dysfunctional) is tragic - as both parents have made the decision to choose what they are TOLD to do over their own child. But can't blame them! I used to believe the same thing not too long ago...that all ex-JWs are bad and to be ignored. SOOO inhumane. It's gonna be rough, as you already know, but the fact that you are seeing it clearly should make the transition a lot smoother. You are reasoning and making decisions about your beliefs BEFORE coming out. I wasn't given that opportunity (DF'd) so the reality of losing everyone hit hard.
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Mental Disorders and family dysfunction in JW org
by babygirl30 inthis is solely about my family...how messed up they are and will probably be till lord knows when.. 1. dad is a controlling, emotionally abusive, non affectionate, narcsissist.
everything needs to be about him in some way shape or form.
no compassion whatsoever for people who do not 'worship' the ground he walks on...and that includes his own children.
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babygirl30
This is solely about MY family...how messed up they are and will probably be till Lord knows when.
1. Dad is a controlling, emotionally abusive, non affectionate, narcsissist. EVERYTHING needs to be about HIM in some way shape or form. No compassion whatsoever for people who do NOT 'worship' the ground he walks on...and that includes his own children. Unfortunately, i have always had an 'independent streak' in me (as my mom describes it) and so I have NOT always followed his direction - which stands to irritate him terribly. whenever he feels like all eyes are NOT on him...he will do or say something cruel in order to bring me down (when i'm with him) so that he feels SO much better then - I guess. Emotions? NOPE - cold as piece of ice. No 'i love you's' in my house...no hugs...nothing along the lines of a happy family.
2. Mom is mentally and emotionally unstable. She has been through at least 5 different therapists (and meds too) for the past 16yrs!! I have never EVER met a woman so terribly unhappy with herself, her life, and afraid of everything. She is so 'weird' that her only friend is this old JW sister in their cong who has alzheimers - my mom MADE it her duty to care for this woman (yes...mom is codependent) and will jump anytime for this lady. My mom has never really been able to relate to others well...and likes being to herself! Mix in that her lack of self love makes her unable to freely 'love' anyone else - she swears she sits at Jesus right hand and was put in the cong to judge all. Her favorite line is "I am a seasoned sister" when she feels she has the right to do/say what she wants to people no matter how cruel. Of course she is a zealot and feels that SHE is the judge and jury on what's 'right and wrong' in her house AND in the cong. If I had a dime for everytime someone complained about my mom's 'judgements' or how ridiculous she was...I would be a billionaire. People avoided her just because of it. And up until I moved out, my mother was STILL trying to tell me how to dress (no tight, fitted, or body hugging clothes, no skirts above the knee, no v-neck shirts, etc) and how a Christian should talk....yet she had no problem telling her own daughter that she is 'cheap' and that she dresses like a 'slut' and that I am sooooo deep in the world that she can't take it!
3. My younger sister....well....she is the clearest example of what 2 mentally and emotionally human beings can produce! She is BPD (borderline personality disorder) and is crazier then a bag of squirrels!!!! To say that I have ever EVER had a close relationship with this girl would be a lie - we're not even friends. No real 'sisterly' dynamic going on - we share the same last name, blood, and parents - but we are NOT sisters in any way. If anyone knows about BPD, these people are hot/cold all in the fear of 'abandonment'. When they feel abandoned or want attention - they will take desperate measures to get it - my sisters 'measure' of choice are RAGES. She will flip out and rage, cuss, spit, throw, get in your face, and start smear campaigns. Since I'm DF'd, this is now HER chance to be the 'chosen 1' in the family - and she is taking full advantage. Although she has been inactive for years, has numerous legal issues going on right now (she is being SUED for stealing and fraud), and lost her last job due to an affair with her boss - SHE is using my DFing as leverage. She forbids me from seeing my niece, very meanly wrote me a note telling me that she and my niece are NO longer my family as I am dead to them both (my niece is 3)...this same girl that has SO many skeletons in her closet, SO many illegal actions under her belt that nobody knows about, SO much instability in her life - and she is judging ME. She is the biggest NARC on everyone else she's ever known (except her own SELF)...and get pure joy out of 'telling' other JWs what SHE feels is right/wrong in someone elses life. OF course it gets back to the elders and then causes tons of drama! Can't begin to tell you how many times I've seen my own sis driving around my home at night...slowly...attempting to FIND someone come out or recognize a car JUSt so she can run back to 'tattle'. She and my mom are soooo much alike, and my sis clings to mom (they sit around and judge everyone AND each other) yet can't seem to part ways and move on from the negativity. WHAT kind of draw is that to anyone?
Add those 3 up....and would ANYONE stay in a family like that let alone want to go back to a religion that condones THAT type of family behavior?UGH! How unhealthy is life supposed to be? I do not want to go back to being a JW. Although I'm disgusted by how my family chooses to follow men's directive to 'ignore' me - life has been so much more peaceful without the constant judgement, criticism, evilness, fear of yet another rage, etc.
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Circuit Assembly This Past Weekend "Safeguard Your Spirituality" -Everyone Please Enter-
by tryingtoexit inso we had our circuit assembly this past weekend, and it was the first one in my life that i told my wife i would not be attending.
we had a brief conversation on why, and she said well just go to this last one with me, and then when we can discuss what we learn and compare it to why you've been expressing your "new" feelings towards the wts.. i love my wife, and as much as i thought i was gonna hate it i decided to go.
now that i no longer want to be a jehovah's witness it really didnt bother me that nobody hardly talked to me despite me living in this same area for 4 1/2 years, everybody views me as spiritually weak because i dont go out in service, rarely attend meetings, dont comment, lesson is never underlined, so the "friends" never interact with me anyway and i'm use to it, actually that's the way i prefer it.
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babygirl30
What IS the big deal with social network sites??? I mean - EVERYONE is on them! Shoot - tons of JW's are updating their sites every freakin hour ON the hour, and every assembly part i remember, they were harpin on joing social sites. UGH!!!
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Circuit Assembly This Past Weekend "Safeguard Your Spirituality" -Everyone Please Enter-
by tryingtoexit inso we had our circuit assembly this past weekend, and it was the first one in my life that i told my wife i would not be attending.
we had a brief conversation on why, and she said well just go to this last one with me, and then when we can discuss what we learn and compare it to why you've been expressing your "new" feelings towards the wts.. i love my wife, and as much as i thought i was gonna hate it i decided to go.
now that i no longer want to be a jehovah's witness it really didnt bother me that nobody hardly talked to me despite me living in this same area for 4 1/2 years, everybody views me as spiritually weak because i dont go out in service, rarely attend meetings, dont comment, lesson is never underlined, so the "friends" never interact with me anyway and i'm use to it, actually that's the way i prefer it.
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babygirl30
And that whole BAD ASSOCIATION thing?! puh lease. That is so retarded. a couple years back one of my step sisters had me on her Myspace even though she wasn't supposed to be associating with my disfellowshipped self. Then she went to a convention and let me know afterwards that she would be deleting her account and couldn't talk to me anymore. Now she's on Facebook but I'm not on her friends list. My 2 Brothers that have live in girlfriends are though but they are just inactive...not disfellowshipped so it's okay. By JW standards, they are breaking the rules by living with girls before marriage and I'm married, but whatever. It's the label that counts right..? ;)
There is this major double-standard of judgement that makes me SICK!!! My parents can justify having dealings with my sister who has been inactive for years, has an illegitimate child (whom they ADORE - which is WHY they deal with her), has stolen money from them (but my dad never pressed charges), whom they KNOW is committing 'fornication' out there, and her only friend is some girl she used to work with. They REFUSE to have dealings with me - but they WILL still bother with my sister who SHOULD be DF'd, but because she's not...she approved association while I'm 'dead' to them all because I am DF'd. HOW in the heck does that make sense? Not to mention all the pioneers I see at the club when I go out...droppin it like its hot on the dancefloor like they aren't accountable to anyone but those SAME pioneers ignore me and act like I don't exist when they see me out. Come on! I actually had a friend that would come in and out the truth based off of how her LIFE was going. No lie - she would hook up with some guy, and she would be all about running the streets - doing her thing. I would tell her that I do NOT approve of her choices, but that as my friend I love her and would be there for her no matter what...and I always was!!!!!!! Eventually the dude would break her heart and she would get this epiphany that she needs Jehovah back in her life - and would come back. She has been reproved for doing this TWICE. Each time she comes back, she claims to be a 'new' person and goes along strong till another guy comes into her life and BAM - she's out again in the streets. This last time she got her heart broken, she got DF'd (I was already DF'd at the time) and she and I had been in contact despite my situation. WELL, of course she is back on her high spiritual horse and informed me that she can no longer have dealings with me...that she is going to follow the elders direction and do things right THIS TIME (what...like all the OTHER times too???)! So once again, this girl who I've stuck by despite all her mess and junk, turns her back on ME when she is no better. That kind of judgemental behavior is so disgusting.
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Mom puts heat on my daughter
by purplesofa inso my mom came down for a visit a few weekends ago, since i knew nothing about it till she got in town, i opted out on seeing her her.. she did not leave a very good lasting impression on my daughter and my grand daughter would not have anything to do with her (babies have such great intuition).
my mom has not been preaching much to my daughter, but left her quite a library when she left town.. .
yesterday she calls my daughter and grills her about why i don't go to meetings anymore, she is upset that i influenced her to get in the truth(which is not really true) and then give her a book to read (coc) saying bad things about the organization.. my daughter told my mom there were allot of coverups in the congo and older men doing inappropriate things with younger girls(i have not told many things on this board about my congo) my mom said that i did not love jehovah enough to let that bother me enough to keep me from going to the meetings.
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babygirl30
My mother has done this from day 1 of my being DF'd...she tries to 'guilt' me into sticking it out and/or coming back. At first it was "because u made a dedication to Jehovah", which is true....at 14. How can I be held accountable for a lifelong decision I made at 14 with NO real knowledge of anything in life??? NExt it turned into "well ALL the 'friends' miss u - Bro X asked about you, Sis Y said she misses you, Bro Z wants to know when ur coming back - see - they all MISS u so much and were so hurt when u were DF'd" blah blah blah....if they miss me so much, they would call or email me to see how I'm doing - right? Her last comments were then directed to threatening my life and HER love "well if u don't do what u know is right u will lose ur life, is that what u want? You need to get ur life together or else I cannot have anything to do with u - it bothers my conscience." WELL mom (and dad) - it bothers MY conscience that u both try to emotionally blackmail me into coming back and doing something I do not want to do....all for 'love'? REALLY?
I think it's deplorable when JW's use 'angles' to get at people...using kids as 'messengers' is wrong! What kind of grandparents would try to demean their own CHILD in front of their grandkids?? UGH!!!!! That is a sure sign of manipulation.
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Circuit Assembly This Past Weekend "Safeguard Your Spirituality" -Everyone Please Enter-
by tryingtoexit inso we had our circuit assembly this past weekend, and it was the first one in my life that i told my wife i would not be attending.
we had a brief conversation on why, and she said well just go to this last one with me, and then when we can discuss what we learn and compare it to why you've been expressing your "new" feelings towards the wts.. i love my wife, and as much as i thought i was gonna hate it i decided to go.
now that i no longer want to be a jehovah's witness it really didnt bother me that nobody hardly talked to me despite me living in this same area for 4 1/2 years, everybody views me as spiritually weak because i dont go out in service, rarely attend meetings, dont comment, lesson is never underlined, so the "friends" never interact with me anyway and i'm use to it, actually that's the way i prefer it.
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babygirl30
THAT is exactly what throws me off with the org...they are dead set AGAINST social networks! They make it seem like you are collectively and single-handedly RUINING your spirituality if you join. YET, not 1 JW I know (adult or young person) isn't on FB...and I don't understand the logic around it. Obviously - nothing besides the societies website and the cd are 'approved'.
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Cola at the District Convention
by lepermessiah inremember some of the garbage served at the district conventions?.
i was at the dollar store today and noticed they started carrying "shasta" cola.. i started laughing because they used to serve that skunk water at the district conventions when i was a kid.. they always brought in the cheapest, nastiest soda they could buy.. one year we had something called vess cola - that was actually worse than the shasta!
then, they ran out on sunday and had to buy pepsi from the local distributor - we were all rejoicing!!.
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babygirl30
What about the Sara Lee apple danishes....or the FROZEN orange juice they served during breakfast? My favorite were the roast beef sandwiches with the bbq sauce packets!!
