babygirl30

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Posts by babygirl30

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  11

  Hello

  by googleTTATT in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am new hear to the board.

  i want to share my story to you all.. i was a born-in jw, baptized at a very young age, pioneered, woke up three years ago, disassociated last year, i am twenty years of age now.

  shunned by all my friends in the org.. please show me some love and share some of your experiences with me.

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  babygirl30

  Welcome to your real LIFE!
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  8

  Something in the air this season...

  by babygirl30 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have had some ultra weird exchanges with some existing jws these past 2 months that have me caught off guard (which is rare for me) - but overall just odd.. 1. i was out at a happy hour with some coworkers, and a woman whom i used to be friends with in another congregation came in with her husband.

  background: her kids, myself, and her best friends son - were all close friends!

  so we all were around this woman and her bff on a regular basis.

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  babygirl30

  I have had some ultra WEIRD exchanges with some existing JWs these past 2 months that have me caught off guard (which is rare for me) - but overall just odd.

  1. I was out at a Happy Hour with some coworkers, and a woman whom I used to be friends with in another congregation came in with her husband.

  Background: her kids, myself, and her best friends son - were all close friends! So we all were around this woman and her bff on a regular basis. In the meantime, this woman's husband cheated, left her and the kids, blah blab blah. She ends up meeting this non-JW man, dating and marrying him, and getting DF'd last I heard.

  Recently: so she comes up to me at this Happy Hour and we hug and start chatting. She tells me that her bff had cut her completely off while she was DF'd, and how that hurt her. But that she decided to come back 'on her own terms'...meaning, she didn't make it about PEOPLE but made it about Jehovah. Um...ok?! Anyhow, she had no idea bout the violence I had experienced and how the elders treated me (since I was DF'd) and after telling her, she again went into this speech about how I should call her, she will always listen and talk to me - which I appreciate - but she continued to go into how coming back is so important, it's all about Jehovah and not the elders. In her words "f*&^ the elders...this is about you and Jehovah". My response to her was "why do I need to come back to the hall to fix my relationship with Jehovah? I'm confused...and also, I respect that you are doing things on your own terms, non JW husband and all, BUT...why should I live a lie, go back to something I don't believe, and be fake?" CRICKETS...

  2. A guy that I used to be friends with and hung out with (a JW) posted a pic of he and his new gf on Facebook.

  Background: after not seeing this guy for years, my fiance and I ran into him at a club one night, and in catching up with him, found out the he was married but separated, his wife was mental and abusive to him, and that he was inactive but majorly depressed because he could not get a scriptural divorce. We kept in touch after that, met up as friends a couple times, and he and his friends would come hang with my friends (all non-JWs). The LAST time we all got together, this guy was seeing and sexing it up with a non-JW woman that I know.

  Recently: So this guy posts a pick of he and his new girl, I 'like' the pic and comment that I am happy for him. This guy sends me a PM and asks if I have changed my mind about going back to the org...and that he knows what I went through with my ex (who was an abusive JW) and that he is 100% sure Jehovah sees it all and is disgusted. He starts telling me that this new gf is a JW, and that they have been best friends for years - that she got him through his situation with his ex, and that he is happy now. My issue with this situation is - apparently this guy FORGETS that I know he couldn't get a scriptural divorce, I know that he was sleeping around, going out to the club, and seeing a woman I know specifically...yet all of a sudden, he now has a gf and is back to being a JW...out of nowhere...no consequences? No sanctions? No DF? But yet I should consider going back...really!

  I guess what I am saying is that it never ceases to amaze me how easily these JWs FORGET their past actions. At least I live in my 'truth', I don't hide behind a double life. but these folks....smh...live in the damn dark! How hypocritical, as a so-called friend of mine, to have lived the ultimate worldly life, decided you want to go back, NEVER really own up to your own bull, and then try to encourage ME to return? Maybe I'm tired of people lying to themselves, because that is how it feels to me...like everyone is just living a lie.
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  19

  A woman's Heartfelt message to the Governing Body

  by UnshackleTheChains in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i just watched this lovely lady's heartfelt message to the governing body.

  i hope that the men she named and all lurkers who have some clout at bethel listen to this message and stop this cruel and divisive shunning policy that has ruined so many family's around the world.

  this is just one voice of many many people who feel this way about your (governing body) destructive policy.

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  babygirl30

  Powerful.
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  29

  Stephen Lett looks like a crazed maniac in the March JW broadcast

  by jambon1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  are people taking this man seriously?

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  he looks genuinely mentally ill. .

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  babygirl30

  He just LOOKS like that pervy grandpa that always wants kids to sit on his lap...while he tells a story! lol
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  72

  Single Sisters Over A Certain Age Group Getting A Bad Rap

  by HiddlesWife in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'm new here; one of my relatives was a member on this forum a few years ago and told me about it.

  anyways, as a sister who has been in the org since childhood and now in her late 40's (plus as a woman of color), i have noticed that a number of brothers have an ageist attitude.

  they are very accepting of young women under 26 and rejecting women over that age, particularly those in their 30's and over.. is this an unspoken mindset from wthq (specifically from bethel), or is it that quite a number of males (sorry, i'm not sexist here) have this type of mentality?

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  babygirl30

  I clearly remember being 18 and having brothers in their late 30s coming at me and expressing interest. A family I was close to tried very hard to hook me up with a 45yr old man when I was 21...and I was so disgusted. At 20-something, all I wanted was to travel and have fun, not settle down with this 'old man' who had already been divorced (wife cheated on him and left).

  By the time I reached my 30s, dating brothers, having Bethelites come to my hall to 'meet me', and never having any issue meeting men at all - I had already made it yp in my mind that I was NOT interested in any JW brother. I wanted ambition, a real life, and good sex...lol...things I felt no brother could give me. And the rest is history! (Happily). But too many gf's of mine in the org were in a hurry to get married, and most did marry the first brother that came along. As a woman of color also, I had the opposite scenario, even in my 30s. Thirsty and weird brothers that wanted so badly to be married that basically threw themselves at me...but thank God I knew my worth and that I could do better!

  The org really is male dominated, and the chances of a sister getting married after 30 is slim. Khalls are full of 30, 40, and 50yr women, single, no kids...still holding out for God to send them a good man. SMDH.
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  42

  Happy Birthday to Me!

  by Iown Mylife in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there's a beautiful sky this morning.

  it's my birthday, today i'm 64 and look every inch of it, but i appreciate my life and feel fortunate to be cult-free.

  also very fortunate to have a purposeful and entertaining existence here in gorgeous north georgia (in the usa).

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  babygirl30

  Happy birthday!
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  36

  Does enforced shunning violate free will?

  by poopie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and ..

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  babygirl30

  Does everyone remember the scene in V for Vendetta when after all the torture, Evie is suddenly told she is free to go...

  As she walks out the door of her cell she noticed all the fake guards, toy guns, and empty cells she walked past EVERYDAY when she believed she was a prisoner - and never noticed it was all smoke and mirrors. THAT is JW free will...
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  26

  I feel like I'm losing my religion/faith

  by christina1111 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm a baptized jw...been baptized for 8 years...and throughout the years i've been baptized i see "hypocrisy" so to speak in the religion...when you're new and not baptized that's when the jws want to invite you to every gathering they have, they want to appear like they're your best friend...they want to help you out when needed and so forth...however, once you're baptized you go to the elders for help they don't help you....all they do is gather you around the office...have bibles in hand and so forth...they give you articles as well, instead of physically helping you out....but yet when you weren't baptized they would physically help you out and not throw scriptures and articles in your face.

  also when you ask for help and so forth with the bros/sisters they want to throw the "each one must carry his/her own load" scripture at you.....but yet what happened to the scripture of taking care of widows and people who are orphans?.

  it's not just one congregation...throughout the 8 years i've been baptized i've been through many kingdom halls...many towns...many states...when i was inactive for awhile i even pretended to not be baptized and just play dumb when the witnesses came to my door...they're much nicer to you when you're not baptized then when you are baptized...why is that?.

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  babygirl30

  Sadly I am guilty of this...love bombing. I was a born in JW, and I remember this young girl in my old cong who was a little younger than me (I was 20, she was about 16). This girl started studying with a Bible thumper in my hall (P.O.s daughter). Got baptized in 6 mos, and had a part IN the assembly the day she got baptized! I mean everyone fell for this girl...and she really liked the attention. LIFE hit, she started missing meetings, but wgen she did come, we all were cold. I smh now in regret...as I too participated ib making this girl feel 'less then'. Eventually she stopped coming at all...and in time, was DFd. I would love to run into her now and apologize, as I was such a cold bitch her the minute she stopped coming to the hall...yet was one of thr first ones smiling in her face, offering her assistance, etc when she was 1st coming to meeting and before she got baptized.

  It is all a TRAP! A sad trap...that newcomers fall into. You never see past thr love and support - until it isnt there anymore.
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  35

  February 13, 2017 BOE Re: Memorial and Special Talk

  by wifibandit in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  february 13, 2017 to all bodies of elders re: memorial and special talk.

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  babygirl30

  I just threw up in my mouth...
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  45

  What has been your own personal experience of shunning?

  by UnshackleTheChains in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i am interested in finding out on a small scale the extent of which shunning has impacted on you personally.. my own experience is that when i faded about 12 years ago.

  the woman whose house the book study was held at (and who was virtually a neighbour) walked right past me in my own street.

  i remember it so well.

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  babygirl30

  
  

  scratchme10103 days ago

  So what's your experience?
  

  My family missed:

  • My marriage
  • My failed relationships
  • My successful relationships
    
  • Helping me when going to college
  • My in-laws
  • My career path
  • My travels
  • My creative projects
  • When i was given an award
  • Being there for me
  • Having me being there for them
    
  • My home
  • My hospitality
  • My cooking
  • My birthdays
  • My Christmas
  • My Graduations
  • My promotions
  • My husband
  • My successes
  • My failures
  • My illnesses
  • My health
    
  • Pretty much my entire life.

  AMEN!! Everything that my parents said I would FAIL at - I have succeeded in. EVERYTHING. And as stated above, my growth as an adult and how I've matured, the responsible lady I've become - all 'missed' because my parents believe shunning is the way to go! So much so that they have walked right by me and literally acted like I do not exist. It's really pathetic...