i was invited to be a guest speaker at the saturday night aa speaker's meeting.
this meeting usually has a large crowd and they get somebody with longtime sobriety to come up and tell his story of "what i used to be like, what happened, and what i'm like now" as an example for others.
i'll have eight years in january, so i guess that makes me fairly longtime.. i told them:.
comf:
Have been recovering from jw's for 27 years - 16 years as a friend of Bill Wilson. I really believe that running from the cult made me run from having a God of my understanding. If I didn't find the program no telling where that fear would've took me.
I truly enjoy all the wonderful things I read here - I know I should be working, but it really helps me a lot.
Happy Turkey day!
even when i was a jw i thought it odd that witnesses gave so much importance to holidays.
when i was studying, i was bogged down with how awful they were because they are pagan and how wrong it was to celebrate.
it seems to me like more attention was donated to the issue of holidays than what the meat of christianity is.
jurs:
I think the older I get the more I realize that Holidays are not about or for me anyway. I love the time I can spend with my hubby and this year I heard a wonderful message.
It's this.....we spend a lot of time thinking and buying the perfect gifts for people that have everything. The light finally went on! It's not about me. I do have everything I need & fighting crowds at malls and spending lots of money is not Peace on Earth. I think it would make me happier to try to help other people - than buying expensive sweaters we don't need.
I'm usually so selfish - this is so out of character for me. It overwhelmes me when I think of the love Jesus has for me - much greater than anything the jws have.
peace baby
the best thing about this thanksgiving for me?
i don't have to cook this year!!!
going to relatives who are having the whole spread catered!.
Shakita:
This is the first year I'm so looking forward to doing all the cooking. I think the Holidays had me wrapped up in so much fear & my expectations were of a perfect little family that never will be (especially since I'm shunned). Just me and hubby & he loves to eat, so it's his fav holiday. Feast & Football. The weather outside will be frightful...... mabie I can have a fire. I plan to get out my christmas decorations & start on that. Very very festive.
It's just so nice to have four long days off in a row - we're gonna have a ball!!
Gobble gobble
i thought about this tonite, i was out on the town with my husband, trying to forget about the week i had of being sick.
trying to not think about my 3 kids problems they all have,,,,,,,,like who gets to do what this weekend and who's turn it is to call the radio.
just trying to unwind a bit.
It's been so long since I've been gone .......27 years. I don't think it would pop into my head at all except for the shunning part I've been dealing with lateley. That makes me think about it alot. Especially, when people talk about their mothers & getting together doing things or visiting each other or holiday plans. I think of being told I was selfish for wanting birthdays and holidays. I think about knocking on doors instead of being able to play as a child. I know this shunning thing will get better - just like grieving. That's what I have to do. The worst part is this mother is still alive - it's just that she is deep in a cult.
Sharing it is the best medicine for me. Would you believe I tell everybody about my mother not able to speak to me. They are so shocked & very helpful to me.
drea
people often ask me why i don't have children...."is it because you don't like them?
" it's quiet the contrary.
i like them alot!
Lucy:
A very long time ago - when I was 25 years old I didn't want any then either. I tell people it's because I don't care for them.....but really it's mostly because I am selfish. Ok, I admit it. I love to come & go when I please & I figure I'd probably have one that would grow up & kill it's mamma.
THe only time I regretted it for 15 seconds was when I was shunned by Pauline, about three months ago (used to be my parent) - & I thought if I did have one I would've had some kind of pal. But guess what!! That child would probably be on the streets taking drugs. I do feel it is hard to keep kids outta trouble & I see parents that run them constantly to all kinds of things to avoid that. It's ok to not have any. Actually, when I travel I run into quite a few couples like us. They wouldn't be able to trave and do the things we do with kids - unless they are filthy rich, of course!
Think I'll go shopping today!!
drea
howdy:.
joined a meetup group here, and read the board in hopes of finding a local pal that can relate to this awful shunning.
it's been hard for me.
Howdy:
Joined a meetup group here, and read the board in hopes of finding a local pal that can relate to this awful shunning. It's been hard for me. I live about 40 miles south of Houston - but work in the city. I have lots of interest that keep me grounded & I have a great hub & a wonderful place in country. Still wish for a gal pal to talk to - - - - -
drea
howdy ya'all:.
gotta get over this - i feel like i'm having a nervous breakdown most days.
parent told me she is unable to speak with me anymore (3 months ago), sends watchtowers to me & hub.
Howdy Ya'all:
Gotta get over this - I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown most days. Parent told me she is unable to speak with me anymore (3 months ago), sends Watchtowers to me & hub. Now she writes to say she is sending brothers on our behalf. Hub wants to blow up their car when they arrive - but I reminded him (since we live in a rural area) we'd be stuck with them at our place. Of course, the whole shunning thing is for smoking 27 years ago and I quit that about 14 years ago. I C how I can be a horrible influence. Anyway, the whole thing makes me want to vomit. I am trying to get better & I go to a meetup group monthly. I believe the point I'm at right now is I'm praying for me to stop wishing her dead.
I don't post - but I read ya'all comments & do enjoy the help I get from them - just knowing I'm not alone helps me alot. Still wish I had someone close by to talk to.
drea
it seems that no matter how successful i am in life (family, career, social, money, etc...) it doesn't matter to my mother......her comment is always something like "when are you going to do something about the truth".
i get so agrivated that i want to scream!!
i have explained to her that i no longer believe the governing body to be directed by god - she knows i don't believe it is the truth any longer - yet every few months she says "when are you going to do something about your life" - it's like she's talking to a recovering drug addict just coming out of rehab with no job and nowhere to live.....do something about your life..........she just doesn't get it.
Dawn:
I just can't understand it either - people of other faiths aren't constantly on the conversion track. My parent doesn't speak to me anymore & I still get WT sent to me. Being tossed to the devil should be a good thing considering that Jehovah has a big stick. It certainly doesn't seem like a loving christian attitiude to treat people this way. It still makes me hurt because I keep looking to this site to remind myself that I'm not a bad person.
Look forward to the meetup group that gets together next weekend. It helps to know that I'm not alone in feeling cast out & isolated from family. At least your mom speaks to you - guess relationships can never be truly loving amogst a cult.
love drea
hi, i have been reading post for over a month before getting up the nerve to register.
its been really interesting listening to all of your perspectives.
i was raised a jw.
HiYa Dazy:
I read the stories and get so much relief here. I've been away so many years I couldn't begin to count em'. But growing up like that has a strong hold. It took me many many years to be able to accept a loving God in my life (my God does not have a big stick now). The book is also what is helping me since my mother told me she cannot speak to me. All the things Raymond Franz relates in his book is from the inside view. He was on the governing body! There are tons of books out there. I think our movement is growing faster than theirs!!!!
So many wonderful people here are so encouraging to me too. I read posts everyday and get remineded that it is a cult & I can question anything I want & have the freedom to believe what I want.
We R free!
here's a concern... i've been shunned by my family for going on 3 months... and so what?
is it wrong that i don't seem to miss them?
i know that this can be painful for many and i wonder why it doesn't seem to bother me?
Thanks everybody - all the posts helped me so much!! THis has been a terrible thing to be told my mother cannot speak to me anymore. I now feel sorry that she has to live with that God that has a big stick.
I count my blessings everyday & am starting to realize we have nothing in common now. It's nice to know that I am not alone. I get a lot of comfort from knowing that we all had a very unique upbringing & that we were smart enough to see for the cult & mind controld it truly is.
It has been about a month now - & I'm feeling better everyday. It could be worse - I could've been a part of a big family.
drea
