Can someone ask to be removed from a particular congregation without actually disassociating from the whole organization? If someone can find a way to do this, then perhaps they can find a loophole to leave without actually getting tagged as such, thereby there would be no institutionally enforced shunning by the family.
Exactly, the loophole is that once you remove yourself from a congregation, the congregation reps i.e. the BOE cannot take retaliatory action against you for doing so, it's a free country and you can leave any congregation you want.
Since Momma WT isn't going to hold a JC and DF anyone not at Bethel, you as a congregation member don't have any connection to the WT, that's the way the WT likes it. So, it's up to the congregation to do the dirty and hold a JC to "begin the shun".
By removing yourself legally from the congregation, you can still associate with congregation members as any worldly person can do. But since the elders have no legal power to act against a worldly non-member of their congregation, they cannot act against you as a former member unless they want to expose themselves to libel and spreading slander by announcing statements that carry a negative connotation of you and your reputation.
Since all you are doing is fading with the law on your side, it's definitely not a good idea to go ahead and put up Christmas lights if you take this road. This only allows you to believe what you believe, and do what you wish while doing it discretely, and away from the congregation.
The elders don't really want a headache with lawyers. Since you should make it clear you aren't DA'ing from the JW religion, just leaving the congregation, and telling them that if they seek legal counsel from the WT (with whom you as of now don't have a legal case) once the WT starts giving them legal support you will consider them as supporting the BOE's slanderous actions and then you will include the WT in the lawsuit.
What this does is it sends a message to the lawyers at Bethel. If you involve yourselves in this matter by giving legal counsel, your WT Society will be included in the pestering legal activities I'm about to unleash on the local BOE if they dare mess with my name and reputation.
The WT lawyers are going to suggest to the local BOE to "forget about it" and leave you alone, and that they better not aggravate the situation by doing anything stupid like holding a JC without you and DF'ing you.
The WT doesn't want any bad publicity and the shunning issue is something they need for control but they don't want exposed to the public or it would cost them new Bible Studies and potential later full fledged, R&F, money contributing members. If you make a big stink and just one Bible Study hears about it and quits as a result of learning that it's likely they'll be loosing their family if they get baptized then make a serious mistake--It's really not worth it to Momma WT.
If this "loophole" costs the bOrganization enough members who can't be shunned and are out there free to associate while harboring appostate feelings, you'll see action from Bethel rushing to plug up that loophole. If on the other hand, just a few slip through the cracks and enjoy family association without being members of a congregation then the WT will just look the other way, and best of all, advise the local BOE to do likewise.