Posts by nugget

48

Memorial - Why do i keep going?

by maisha in

every year i attend, missing only 5 in 50 years.. i do not attend meetings nor active in anyway, my family shun me,(all devote believers) but i do feel drawn to attend each year.

i am out for sure, but i no longer have faith, or a belief in any religous body as being approved by god.. i am so screwed up now i not sure if i believe in a creator!, let alone who or what that may be.. i was born into the truth, married into the truth and my ex is devote.. i could never return to the cult now seeing it for what it is.. i served, donated, slaved for years happy to do so as has all my family.. i went out of my way to get df, sort of a wanting to die act, of rejecting the society.. i used to sit in a movie in my youth and think, wow i am so lucky, all these people are going to die and i will live forever.. even just typing this gives release to my emotions,, lol,,, yea i have many emotions,,, many regrets, basically the organisation i followed and the instructions destroyed my life in every possible way.. the power plays that i witnessed within are what first woke me up,,,at first i let it go, forgiving those involved as brothers do.

but again and again power and position is and was the thing to have, you got the power you got everything.

nugget

time flies and all that!! Thanks for the reminder

14

Disfellowshipped Over Celebrating Holidays?

by garbonzo in

i found this:.

worldly celebrations such as christmas - ks91-e p.95 (it appears celebrating birthdays is not a reason to be disfellowshipped.

ks91-e is the pay attention to yourselves elder's book, right?

nugget

Wordly celebrations such as.... is a catch all it doesn't list all celebrations so the elders can easily substitute any appropriate celebration into the gap including Birthdays. The bottom line is if you are not following the faith as taught by JWs you can be disfellowshipped. Part of their teachings is prohibition on Birthdays.

48

Memorial - Why do i keep going?

by maisha in

every year i attend, missing only 5 in 50 years.. i do not attend meetings nor active in anyway, my family shun me,(all devote believers) but i do feel drawn to attend each year.

i am out for sure, but i no longer have faith, or a belief in any religous body as being approved by god.. i am so screwed up now i not sure if i believe in a creator!, let alone who or what that may be.. i was born into the truth, married into the truth and my ex is devote.. i could never return to the cult now seeing it for what it is.. i served, donated, slaved for years happy to do so as has all my family.. i went out of my way to get df, sort of a wanting to die act, of rejecting the society.. i used to sit in a movie in my youth and think, wow i am so lucky, all these people are going to die and i will live forever.. even just typing this gives release to my emotions,, lol,,, yea i have many emotions,,, many regrets, basically the organisation i followed and the instructions destroyed my life in every possible way.. the power plays that i witnessed within are what first woke me up,,,at first i let it go, forgiving those involved as brothers do.

but again and again power and position is and was the thing to have, you got the power you got everything.

nugget

sometimes it can surprise us how deeply the conditioning effects us. The memorial was always a do or die event you go as an extra assurance that god will save you and failing to attend was a serious omission. However under the witness paradigm the only ones obligated to attend are the annointed, every effort is made for them to receive the emblems even if they cannot make it to the hall, if an observer fails to attend no one turns up at their home with bread and wine.

You are not required to attend as an observer it seems your attendance is about something else. I would say if the meeting is a burden and is not an uplifting experience then why put yourself through the shunning and the cruelty? If you go to make a point and you get something from it then continue to go. If you still have a belief in God then quiet meditation at home can demonstrate the appreciation in Jesus' sacrifice required on such a day it is not necessary to undertake public pennance. If you have no belief then nothing is accomplished by going accept validation of the JW belief that people outside long to come back in.

I have not attended the memorial for a year and it was this one thing that helped me break free. I was able to accept that the fear I had once felt over not attending was irrational and uneccessary. The God that punnishes non attendance at specific meetings seems very tyrannical and unreasonable. Also a religion that teaches contempt of any other viewpoint without any attempt to understand is more about control then worship.

25

Guilt Trips From Family

by EmptyInside in

jw
friends

my mother is the top queen when it comes to guilt trips.

she recently mentioned to me,seemingly casually,"now,your brother has a talk this sunday.

it would be so nice if you went with me to hear it.

nugget

Sorry to hear you are going through this difficult time. You are right not to go it would be a step backwards. If your brother thought it was important for the family to be there then he would have invited you. He sounds a lot like my brother in law who only speaks to us when someone has died.

Focus on positive relationships in your life, people who will be there for you whatever you believe.

44

Pioneers Bearing No Fruit

by TOTH in

jw
friends

my father in law's sow has been a pioneer for what...twenty plus years now?

she has yet to see any of her studies progress to baptism.

i know this is an excellent thing but to jw's you would think it would be tragic.

nugget

The purpose of ministry is not to convert new ones to the cause but for those still in to be kept busy. It is a form of endurance test where pointless tasks are given to people to see how long they will keep going before they crack. Witnesses feel that regardless of whether they will find a hearing ear, they are working out their own salvation. They also suuppose that it does not matter how ill prepared they are the angels will draw the right hearted people to them. There is no need to push for converts they won't earn you any extra credit with god. Pioneer sisters have little to gain since they have no additional status for all the hours they commit and can only gain any advancement through marriage.

Pioneers get much praise at assemblies but the truth is they are left on their own most of the time to complete their asigned hours. It is a miserable life really. After all if it was so fabulous people would be attracted by their happy demeanor and positive vibe. The fact that so few come in is because everyone involved knows it is pointless.

7

No longer a JW-g/f

by JW-g/f in

jw
friends

its been a long story and it did not start by intention.. i am not from an english speaking country and 10 years ago i was between two jobs and trying to improve my english.

went to chatroom and met him.

he was funny, careless, clever.

nugget

It is time to walk away. Often when JWs go through periods of difficulty they cling even harder to the doctrine. You have been given a glimpse of where he is mentally and emotionally and that he will put doctrine ahead of his children. You have seen that he will not listen to advice even when presented reasonably.

This is not a loving relationship certainly in your account there is little love and consideration coming your way. Can you really sustain 2 unhappy relationships? This is not about whether your actions mean you deserve what you get, on a purely practical level this is not good for any of the people involved. Your children need a happy supportive mum so focus on them and forget this man who does not appreciate you because he is still captive to a cult.

24

At last....I made the connection with an old friend...who is a practising Pagan

by Pams girl in

im the nervy, anxious type.

i suffer with panic attacks and sometimes my agoraphobia cripples me.

the organisation effectively isolated me fo a long time.

nugget

People are often more forgiving than we give them credit for and true friends are understanding. It takes courage to face the fear of rejection and do it anyway and let someone out there know that you think they are important in your life.

It is often our own doubts that hold us back. Well done girl you did the right thing and gave all of us with lost friends hope of a connection.

16

Memorial Attendance Need an Advice Please

by Yan Bibiyan in

quick background info i am an ubm, studied somewhat, never baptized.

mrs. bibyan is a successful fader her last kh attendance was the special talk after last years memorial.

no grief from the local congo for missing; the elderette she was friends with would call or stop by once in a while, but no harassment.. the other day, mrs. tells me out of the blue she wants to go to the memorial.

nugget

I would say to her that it may be awkward attending the memorial after such a long absence. If you receive an invite then go since the invite shows that they are at the very least thinking about you all. If you receive no invitation then plan something else on that evening perhaps.

Whatever you choose to tell your wife approach it gently since the natural fallback is to defend the society and stop listening.

2