Welcome to the board. What you are experiencing is normal. Firstly disfellowshipping can be dependent on whether they wish to make an example of you and how much influence your family has in the congregation. Elders have also been encouraged to take a firmer stand on disfellowshipping resulting in even more people being expelled from the congregation than before.
We are taught that this only happens to bad people but this is not true. Just because some men judged you poorly it does not make you wicked or despicable. What it does demonstrate is that your mother and friends in the congregation are conditional on what you believe. They are not true friends and never have been. If you were to go back you will take a long time fitting back in you age gender and past status will affect your long term prospects.
Think for a minute where else would "almost having sex" be anything other than a private matter between the individuals concerned. You are 25 and not a child. You have been to college and you are smart and capable. Stop chasing a cult that wants to make you a miserable, downtrodden virgin and build a life for yourself where you use your judgement and common sense to be all you can be.
Move out and take each day as it comes. If a religion wants to take away your family and friends it has to be worthy of demanding that sacrifice. Trust me, do some research and you will discover it is not worthy not even close.