Posts by JenGill97

I was contacted today by a Sue Proctor for this attorney Gregory Love. Who are they and are they legit? She said it was concerning possible litigation against the JW's. Any help would be nice.

Jen :)

14

Facing some answers

by JenGill97 in

i have not been in contact with my father in quite some time and i need to call him.

you see he has the answers to some questions i need to know.

for example, when he found out about my child abuse, did he report it to the elders?

I got an email with some questions that maybe I should clarify. My father knew of the abuse because I told him. And I was not alone. Two other family members also told (for a total of 3 young women in the same circle of family molested by this man.) He had direct knowledge - his choice was to do nothing. I think this is the nature of his family: Just don't talk about it again and it will go away.

Unfortunately, it won't go away. It will never go away. But I will learn from it, heal and take with it the knowledge that it stops with me. My hands are tied in some sense becasue I can't do anything legally. I have filed a police report of my on in the county where the incident took place. Nothing happened. I called Children't Services and their response was "Why are you doing something now? It's kind of late isn't it?" IDIOTS... !

Needless to say, I keep hitting walls. This confrontation with my father is something I just keep putting off because I know my heart will be broken. Who wants to knowingly let their father break their heart. I'm not stupid. I know it will hurt. But I also know that the information is necessary for me to find closure: it's my last unaswered question. The only other thing I could do is confront my abuser. I refuse to put myself through that - he will deny and he will lie.

I gain strength daily from the support of my husband and children. I will survive - I have survived.

Jen :)

14

Facing some answers

by JenGill97 in

i have not been in contact with my father in quite some time and i need to call him.

you see he has the answers to some questions i need to know.

for example, when he found out about my child abuse, did he report it to the elders?

JenGill97

My father is not shunning me because of the Borg - he is disfellowshipped. He is not choosing to be a part of me and my family's life because he is ashamed of cheating on my mother when they were married. He can't get over his shame and face his children.

He was also a victim of abuse and I too have wondered what I would have done were I in the same situation and it was a sibling that had abused one of my own children. I would confront my sibling, but only after extensive couseling with a professional and that professional would be required by law to report it. Takes it out of my hands, but that is a good way to handle it with family. I know that if it were true, my immediate family is more important to me than my extended family. I have to, I am required to protect my children ---FROM ANYONE! even family.

It is pretty cut and dry for me - and this is something positive that has come out of this healing process: I know what I would do if this situation arose (God forbid!) and I was faced with this decision. It is my responsibility as a parent to protect my children and I will do it with every breath in my body.

Jen :)

14

Facing some answers

by JenGill97 in

i have not been in contact with my father in quite some time and i need to call him.

you see he has the answers to some questions i need to know.

for example, when he found out about my child abuse, did he report it to the elders?

JenGill97

Thank you all very much for the kind words. I was ten when the abuse occurred by an uncle while on a camping trip. Both families were involved in the Borg.

You are right and I just didn't think of it this way: My dad already failed me. And because I am a parent now myself, I think this is the most disappointed I am in both of my parents. It should be noted it was his brother that did the abusing. My mom was in the picture, but mostly only physically. She sustained tremendous sexual child abuse at the hands of an elder and as a result suffers from multiple personalities. Unfortunatly this didn't surface for many years after my abuse. She tells me the personality who was living her life at the time chose to let my dad handle things because her personality "Patsy" is the good JW wife and always took second to my father and whatever he decided is what they did. And obviously he decided to do nothing.

It is upsetting when you find as an adult that your parents failed you as a child. I have forgiven my mother but because my father chooses to not to be a part of my life, I haven't had the opportunity to forgive him. Maybe in the future I can, but not now. I have really been thinking of writing him a letter. I think I may do that.

I asked my husband not to long ago, what if someone did to our daughter what my uncle did to me, what would you do. He said probably be brought up on murder charges. I love my husband.

Jen :)

14

Facing some answers

by JenGill97 in

i have not been in contact with my father in quite some time and i need to call him.

you see he has the answers to some questions i need to know.

for example, when he found out about my child abuse, did he report it to the elders?

JenGill97

I have not been in contact with my father in quite some time and I need to call him. You see he has the answers to some questions I need to know. For example, when he found out about my child abuse, did he report it to the elders? I went through a summer of counceling and it came down to this. Since then, I have needed to call and talk to my father but I am terrified of his answer. You see, if he didn't call them, that means he did nothing when he found out his daughter had been molested. He will have failed as my father. I don't know if I could handle that kind of disappointment. However, I am hiding from him by not calling.

I don't know what to do.

Jen :(