Posts by xmkx

36

Cautious Newcomer

by undertheradar in

jw
friends

i am still a member of the jw's organization.

i have been puzzled over some of the teachings for many years but as i seemed to be the only one querying things among my local jw's i felt as if i was going crazy.

i was very relieved to find this site, a few months ago, full of evidence to back up my findings, and so much more.. i am so grateful to you all.. i do not want to leave the organization until i have planted some seeds in my family to open their eyes.

xmkx

Welcome! :) If you have the chance, check out Raymond Franz's book Crisis of Conscience. It gives you an inside look in to Bethel and how a lot of the more puzzling doctrines are created in the first place. Very eye opening in how "God directed" the organization really is. The author speaks with sadness and disappointment with no negativity and it's quite obvious he speaks from a good heart.

I hope that you are able to plant those seeds in your own family. It can be very tough planting seeds in those still "in" the organization that will actually grow and not be squashed on the spot. I highly recommend researching the deprogramming process for those who have been in the organization.

23

Have some went back & those who do, what's it like??

by DubR in

i hope everyone had a great time with their loved ones last week!

i wanted to know have any on this forum went back to being a jehovah's witness who were previously disfellowshipped, disassociated, agnostic, atheist; or just faded away?

would any of you eventually go back for family and friends?

xmkx

I think were I in the position of completely being cut off from my family and going back, I might go back too. But after being reinstated it would pretty much be on my own terms. Like... I wouldn't go out door to door, I might (big might) share some Biblical knowledge with people but not with the purpose of indoctrinating them the JW way and only if I see they could use it at that particular time, fake time reports, only the middle of the week meetings and none of the book studies or Sunday meetings, and OF COURSE I'm going to keep up my normal "worldly" habits like Facebook, the internet in general, books, movies, music, holidays, donating blood, and body art. The thing that holds me back from doing it now is that I still have healthy contact with my family and the rewards of not having them disappointed in me are very minimal in comparison to the amount of effort that would go in to hiding all that stuff from the elders. Not to mention the reason I left in the first place was so that I could just be myself and I am very happy being that way and having people accept and love me based on who I really am rather than who they think I am.

33

The Diary of an Armageddon Survivor

by RAS in

jw
friends

i am not sure if anyone ever posted this but i thought it was worth sharing: (can anyone relate?).

the following is not fantasy, this is what we were taught to expect when we were jehovah's witnesses.. michael pendley .

day 1. well, the big a is over and i survived.

xmkx

I read that a long time ago. It was a real eye opener. Thanks for sharing it! It's a nice reminder of what Paradise would REALLY be like in WBTS world.

27

Did any of you study the WT lesson throughly without ANY underlining?

by asilentone in

just wondering.

it makes me think whoever underlines the wt without going throughly is purely hypocritical.

.

xmkx

Highlighting answers was how I avoided actually reading the articles. The answers were obvious and I was required to highlight them in order to prove that I was really reading the material. So I just read the questions and scanned the corresponding paragraphs for the answers. I didn't even bother looking up the quoted scriptures most of the time because I knew what ever scripture put there "supported" what the article was saying and even if it didn't really support what the article was saying (anyone remember quoted scriptures that seemed to have absolutely NOTHING to do with the paragraph?) it's not like I could have said anything about it anyways. If I ad-libbed it was all from memory or personal experience. I must say I had a lot less interest in the Bible as a JW than I do now. After all, who needs the Bible when you have the WBTS telling you what it says and doing all your scriptural quotes for you?

25

CONVENTION PHOTO !!

by elder-schmelder in

jw
friends

i found this picture on facebook.. but i wanted to ask everyone a question.

how many people here remember a moment in their young adult life at the conventions like this?.

[picture removed - it's unclear if this is publicly available or copied without permission - simon].

xmkx

I look at that picture and remember how that was the ONLY really enjoyable thing about conventions... you got to hang out with your friends and secretly admire the young "brothers" that you saw around, LOL. That's why the smiles on their faces are so big... it's one of the few events in their lives where they get to somewhat act like normal kids because the adults aren't paying nearly as much attention to them as they normally do.

38

My growing opinion about religion

by AK - Jeff in

jw
friends

when i walked away from jw's i thought that i would find other religions more comforting, less controlling.

what i found was more of the same.

religion acting like a 'prophet'.

xmkx

There are a few Christian denominations that I suspect reflect a more open-minded nature and a few churches that are pushing an open-minded nature but right now they don't have much power and they seem to be few and far in between.

That aside, I think most Christian churches today push a very dysfunctional message that has been passed down over many generations, so much so that it has became a lifestyle more than it has been just a belief. I don't think that there is anything wrong with Christianity itself but I do believe that people have became too reliant on someone else's interpretation of scripture rather than actually sitting down and reading the bible and figuring it out for themselves. I also think that many have gotten caught up in the culture so to speak and either don't really understand what they are professing or don't really care. There's also the huge issue of people using religion to meet emotional and not spiritual needs. Let's not forget the hunger for money in the churches and the religion... more members, more donations, more merchandise purchases, etc... Christianity has ultimately became a big time business.

15

help with parenting ?

by creativhoney in

for those who are now out and we can't use the 'what would jehovah think' method any more, has anyone struggled with discipline since leaving?.

my parents were so strict and laughter and silliness was frowned upon.

- especially by a militant stepfather.

xmkx

Children go through several rebellious phases in their lives that are completely normal and actually essential to healthy psychological development. The best thing to do is to make it clear that this behavior is unacceptable, WHY it is unacceptable, and ensure that such behavior is not rewarded in any form while making sure you do reward their behavior when it IS acceptable and explain why that behavior is acceptable. The idea is to teach them that they need to respect others boundaries if they want to get anywhere with those people without you disrespecting their own right to set personal boundaries and make their own choices. It helps a lot of think of things in a "consequences" type way... if you do this, that will happen. If you do that, this will happen. Remember that while punishment is good for discouraging behavior, it does not teach one how to behave in a more acceptable manner nor does it work permanently - once the punishment is removed, the behavior will eventually return. Positive reinforcement of acceptable behaviors is what really makes things stick. It is also important to realize that negative emotions are not "bad" and that it's OK for your child to disagree with you, be angry at you, etc. but it is vital for them to understand that there are acceptable and healthy ways of expressing these emotions and then there are unacceptable and unhealthy ways of expressing those emotions.

This is generally what the child development and behavioral science resources that I have read say. I was so worried about not knowing how to be a good parent to my son that I have been inhaling as much of it as I can get my hands on since the moment I found out I was pregnant. It's worked out very well for us so far... I'm just waiting for the teenage years to hit which is probably when it will REALLY be put to the test, LOL.

11

Questions regarding my faith

by notknowing in

if someone not knowing about god was to come and ask you about the trinity.

how would you answer.many people have told me to look at an egg.

the outer shell,the yoke and embryo are all together.

xmkx

I think of it as the Holy Spirit and Christ being cloned parts of God more than the whole "three heads on one body" type thing that the Society makes the Trinity out to be. God put so much of Himself in to Christ and the Holy Spirit that they are essentially a part of him, probably since they both carry out functions that require the kind of power only God Himself can really have.

This does not seem all that strange when I think of organisms in nature that can clone themselves through the removal of a part that develops in to another organism that is identical to the organism it was taken from. I don't think there's anything crazy or illogical about the thought that perhaps God is capable of doing this with Himself as well.

14

The Impact of Being a Jehovah's Witness

by Sour Grapes in

as i sit here at work and reflect upon my life, i realize.

how different my life would be if my mom were not home.

when the jw's came a knockin and mom fell for their story.. 1. i would not be married to my wife.

xmkx

I don't really wonder how my life could have been any different because what's done is well... done. I'm also glad that things went the way they did because I would not have learned various things I have learned if they had went any differently. That being said, JWs did have a large impact on my life, both positive and negative. Although the negatives DO outweigh the positives, at least I can now say I know without a doubt when I'm getting scammed 99% of the time among other things, so the negatives in the end turn out to be positives. It's all what you make out of it.

160

My Wife is demanding that I stop coming to this board.

by garyneal in

okay, i am in a bit of a dilemma.

since i believe in honesty between marriage mates, i have been telling my wife about this board and my participation on it.

i feel it is only right so that she won't feel like i have anything to hide.

xmkx

"Last night, she asked me to stop coming on here out of respect for her."

In order to respect or disrespect someone, you have to do something that directly affects them. Coming to this board does not directly affect her. This kind of reasoning that by coming here you are disrespecting her is a control tactic via the means of manipulation. I have been through enough abusive relationships in my life time to say that without a single doubt. Any time one of my abusers wanted me to do something that went against my personal wishes, a lot of times they would pull out the "respect" card. Don't fall for it.

Additionally, you do NOT have to tell your wife about this board if doing so will illicit this kind of manipulation on her part. Trust is something that is earned, it's not a right, even when you are married. If she has not shown herself worthy of your trust in this area via attempts to control what information you access through manipulative means, then don't trust her with this information.

If your wife expects you to respect her beliefs, she needs to do the same with you, bottom line. That obviously is not happening. She expects you to respect her beliefs and expects to exert control over your beliefs as well. There is a name for this kind of behavior - it's called "spiritual abuse"! And it is considered to be right up there with other forms of abuse such as verbal, emotional, mental, and even physical! ANY attempts to control your behavior rather than allow you to make your own choices is considered abuse.

As to why your wife is so serious and pushy about this - you can blame the JWs. I know it sounds too easy but it's the truth. The JWs first of all make it clear that any one married to a non-believer needs to push for them to get involved as well. They also tend to make it seem like your marriage is doomed to fail if you're not married to another JW. Now let's add on the shame someone feels when married to a non-believer because of all the talking that goes on behind their back about it. And then let's not forget the fear that you are becoming an apostate, someone that she will not be able to have any contact with whatsoever...

She's scared, and with so many reasons to be afraid being thrown at her, it's really no wonder why she's trying to take over control of the situation by taking over control of you. Humans need the ability to feel in control of their lives, and the WBTS takes that control away from them and then when they feel out of control the WBTS points the finger at Satan and "the world" (which includes YOU). So of course the next step is to try to take control... which they are led to believe means they need to get rid of Satan and all his nasty influence. She thinks you're being misled by Satan and that through him influencing you he's going to start influencing her, so she's trying to nip the "problem" in the bud by stopping him from influencing you so she doesn't have to cut you off as a person.

Wow I hope that makes some sense... JWs can be so confusing, even for those of us that have grown up with them.

Anyways, I know I'm a little late commenting on this topic, but I just joined yesterday and I really felt the need to speak out about this one. Boy have I been down that "respect" road too many times before... it's a doozy.