Hearts WELCOME! May you find comfort from many supportive and loving ones on this board as I have. My heart goes out to you in your situation becausd I too am dealing with an active jw spouse who will not wake up. Anytime you need a listening ear or even a safe place to vent feel free to pm me. Once again welcome to the club :)
Lostwun
JoinedPosts by Lostwun
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65
Introducing...ME
by Heartsafire inlong time lurker here.
i'm a fifth gen born-in baptized jw.
to say i've been struggling with doubts is an understatement.
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138
My Mother Died Two Weeks Ago
by Perry innone of my jehovah's witness relatives called to tell me or my family.
just found out this morning.
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Lostwun
Perry my deepest condolences to you during this difficult time.
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Have they announced the new meeting arrangement yet?
by JimmyPage ini was thinking it will be at the midweek meeting and not today.
is that correct?
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Lostwun
I can tell you that the changes youve been hearing to come are legit. The two elders at my house tonight confirmed it as they were trying to tell me about all I missed since I havent attended. New workbooks and all its true. -
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The bridge burning has begun.
by sparrowdown ini was feeling particularly hopeless about the whole jws being assholes thing and sick to death of pretending so ....
i rang my sister and told her that i no longer believe jws have the truth and the phone went silent, when i asked her to say something she just said if that was the case then she would have to hang up on me and then proceeded to indeed hang up..
so i texted her back immediately with fu..
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Lostwun
Sparrow I commend you and your bravery to put it all out there and no longer be held captive. I pray one day I too will find the strength to be that brave. take good care of yourself sis and stay strong
LostWun -
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Where you are in your life now.....What would you have preferred .... To be left in ignorance ? ...Or to know the truth about the truth
by smiddy ini think possibly their are a few valid reasons for either options to this question ,depending on a number of factors .. such as how old you might be, how long you have devoted your life to the "truth" as you believed it .
?....how it may affect your mental/physical health and well being.?.
how it will affect your financial position in your life ,?
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Lostwun
Smiddy im still trying to figure out how I feel. Somedays I feel free as a bird. Other days I struggle with the emotional toll of dealing with the loss of everything I grew up with. do I miss the control WT had over my life? No. But I hate the breaking of family ties and division that it causes. As much as it hurts like hell I for once in my life have to be true to myself and not follow blindly after imperfect men. -
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Done.....done done done....
by dubstepped inmy wife and i just found out that our disassociation was announced last night.
we....are...free!.
i'd like to take a moment to thank some people:.
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Lostwun
Congratulations dubbed! So happy for you two! :) enjoy your lives the way it was meant to be! FREE :) -
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My parents sent the elders after me
by atacrossroads ini stopped regulary attending meetings and going in field service in january.
the elders have left me alone for the most part i think because of my jw husband.
last week my parents came over and told me i needed to come back to meetings.
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Lostwun
Ata I really feel for you in your current situation. Not sure if you read my post about my concerned parents but our situation parallels in so many ways. I didnt even fully tell my parents all the reasons I dont attend meetings and they went off the deep end too. They were more concerned with how my actions would affect them and not my feelings or conscience at all. It is a very hard situation to be in when you want to try to keep family ties but it seems everyone is out to get you and not in your corner. I too have a husband who is very much in the religion but holding my secret. The fact that your husband is doing the same and being supportive of you during this difficult time in your life is a good sign. Hang in there hun. If you ever need to talk or vent with someone who can relate feel free to pm me anytime.
Keep strong
Lostwun -
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Baby steps taken with a grain of salt
by Israel Ricky Gonzales inseeing how my jw wife nearly lost it when i woke up to ttatt and was df'd just over a year ago, she has been showing cracks in her armor.. 1. she has stopped pioneering to resume her good-paying career, working full-time.. 2. she suggested marriage counseling.. 3. she suggested going to a latin rap concert at a casino for our anniversary.. 4. when we reconciled recently and began living together as a family again, she agreed to alternate weeks of jw activity with the kids, one week doing the jw thing with her and the next week not doing the jw thing with me .
5. she hasn't had perfect attendance at meetings or for field service since she started working full-time.
just last night, she skipped meeting to help co-workers prepare food for an employee appreciation luncheon held today.
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Lostwun
IRG everyone has pretty much touched on it but im super happy that your wife is starting to show some signs of letting her guards down. I know you are excited too but keep that excitementvcontained for now. I pray that she eventually sees the true light! This post gives me hope for the same eventuality with my husband :) -
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Wife Equates Having A Good Marriage With Being "Spiritual"
by JW_Rogue inso i've noticed lately that my wife seems to think that in order to have a good marriage both people must be "spiritual".
she thinks being close as a family is all about family worship night, field service and praying together.
i know where these ideas are coming from but it is very hard to combat them.
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Lostwun
JW-Rogue I can relate to your situation because I was just like your wife in how i dealt with my husband when we were dating and first married. I equated having a successful marriage only to having a spiritual head willing and zealous to take the lead in all aspects spiritually. I think I overburdened him with my desire for him to reach out and to always be on top of our family study. It's funny to see how the roles have reversed now that i am the one who is out of the cult and he is still in. lol
anyways... In your situation
Quite honestly this is something your wife has to come around to in her own head on getting over. Just continue showing her that you can be a good mate without all that WT crap they feed her mind with. If she sees that you will love her unconditionally and still treat her just as good then eventually she will settle down with all that overbearing jw stuff. It may take a long time but with patience and love and continued commitment to her, it can eventually lead to a change in her mindset.
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Lostwun
Do what I did when stuck by having to carpool with my in-laws.
Insist on taking your own car, when you arrive find your own seats away from relatives. Try and just bare through the morning session then when lunch time hits, bounce out of the convention back to your hotel or wherever else and dont return until the closing song when its time to pick up everyone to leave lol
Worked like a charm for me and saved me from those repetitive boring lectures and mindless clapping at everything the speakers says..