Wow man. That's a lot. Thanks for sharing all of that. I couldn't stop reading. Your arguments were very well thought out and you spent a lot of time detailing it. I appreciate that.
The emotional trauma of it all has been pretty heavy. I'm feeling pretty unstable, like, keep-all-weapons-away-from-me unstable. I've got a lot to ponder.
I liked this line. A little dark, but I know exactly what you mean. Felt that way myself before for a while. Leaving isn't easy...
Please let me say: I'm so glad you don't hate your brother. I was that brother once (although not quite as bad I think). The worst part of reading your message for me was the nauseating feeling of having been on the other end of that once and being ashamed of myself for it.
Years ago when I was still a Witness my brother left home to move in with my father. Our parents were/are divorced and although mom and all of we children were in the organization dad wasn't. So when my brother left to go live with him he also did it in part to leave the "truth". Of course, being a good brother and not wanting to lose my little brother when the end of the world came, I confronted him about it. It went pretty much like your conversation went. I never deliberately shunned him, but I thought at the time he was being selfish and foolish and we didn't really speak for a long while.
Now that I have left as well we have patched things up. We even had a few drinks together in a bar and played darts and pool a few weeks ago. And that's a great thing for me too, since now I get to spend time with his son, my nephew, who is 2 years old and absolutely adorable. To think I would have kept myself from all that...
Who knows? Maybe one day your brother will ease up about this, or even leave himself. Stranger things have happened. Keep an open mind man, and chin up. Thanks again, very much for sharing this. Best wishes!!