stuckinamovement

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Posts by stuckinamovement

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  47

  New here...need some support

  by Freeof1914 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  first of all i am happy to be here..this site has been an invaluable tool which helped me get to the point where i am today.

  i was born and raised as a jehovah's witness and i am now 30 yrs old.

  my entire family are die hard witnesses; pioneers, elders, bethel etc.

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  stuckinamovement

  Welcome. I am in the exact same position. It is devastating and it might be the biggest challenge your marriage ever goes through.

  SIAM
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  42

  A “Born ins” challenge to develop a "post cult" personality.

  by stuckinamovement in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a born ins challenge to develop a post cult personality.. mentally leaving the organization can be traumatic for a number of reasons.

  one of the biggest challenges for born-ins in finding their pre cult personality is that our entire personalities are based on the religion.

  there is no such thing as a pre cult personality for us.

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  stuckinamovement

  Hi Tornapart. I don't have the answer really but I empathize. Each of us needs to make a values based decision for ourselves as to what we decide to do. No matter what decision we make (whether to stay or leave), will be tough and knowing that fact going into the process will give you resolve. I don't think that it is a waste of time to try to reinvent ourselves at any stage of life. The older we are the harder it is though.

  Your dilemma is the same as any other born in who realizes that their foundational beliefs are wrong. As an older one you just have less time to work with. Ask yourself the questions mentioned in the original post. I have a feeling that you are not as far off from being your "real self" as you think.

  your bro SIAM
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  42

  A “Born ins” challenge to develop a "post cult" personality.

  by stuckinamovement in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a born ins challenge to develop a post cult personality.. mentally leaving the organization can be traumatic for a number of reasons.

  one of the biggest challenges for born-ins in finding their pre cult personality is that our entire personalities are based on the religion.

  there is no such thing as a pre cult personality for us.

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  stuckinamovement

  Thanks for the feedback. From your comments it is clear that I am not the only one trying to build a "post cult" personality. Looks like we are all in good company.

  SIAM
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  42

  A “Born ins” challenge to develop a "post cult" personality.

  by stuckinamovement in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a born ins challenge to develop a post cult personality.. mentally leaving the organization can be traumatic for a number of reasons.

  one of the biggest challenges for born-ins in finding their pre cult personality is that our entire personalities are based on the religion.

  there is no such thing as a pre cult personality for us.

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  stuckinamovement

  A “Born ins” challenge to develop a post cult personality.

  Mentally leaving the organization can be traumatic for a number of reasons. One of the biggest challenges for born-ins in finding their “pre cult” personality is that our entire personalities are based on the religion. There is no such thing as a “pre cult” personality for us. Once you realize that the truth is a lie and that the things you have learned are false you look inside and realize that you are simply a shell of a person filled with sadness at being decieved.

  As a “born in” you see the world in a very black and white way. Things are right or wrong, good or bad. Your personal conscience is not really your own, it is built on the mandates of some man in Brooklyn who has declared what is right and wrong for you. As a “born in” you accept that and never learn how to make a personal decision based on facts, logic or reason. You simply obey.

  Your approach to the future is different from the people around you. You have always operated under the assumption that there is no real future for you in this world. Soon God was going to wipe away sickness, poverty and death and all of your problems would be over. This belief stunted your long term view and made goals such as financial stability, higher educational opportunities and retirement oddly unappealing despite the sound logic and rationale behind them.

  As a “born in” you might have developed a social disability that prevents you from becoming too close to anyone who is “worldly”. This same disability at the same time affects your relationship with those within the faith. You are often times on guard about what you say and the thoughts that you express for fear that you become labeled as weak or bad association. All of your relationships are superficial at some level because inside you know that there might be the chance that you will have to cut-off a friendship if the organization demands it. Why get too close to someone that you might have to shun? This caution results in having few close friends that you can share honest thoughts and feelings with. This condition is tantamount to social purgatory or limbo at the best.

  Complicating matters for many is the fact that loved ones are still trapped within the cult. For many of us these loved ones such as our husbands, wives, and children make the shell of a life that we have worth living. What do you do about this?

  So since so much of your personality is based on the dogma of the organization it can be a challenge to start from scratch in building your own life. I am in that position as are many here. These are the questions that I ask myself to try to fill in this shell.

  What do I love to do? What makes me laugh? Where do I want to be in 10 years, 20, or 30, or 50 (hopefully)? What type of people do I want to be friends with? What are personal qualities that I value? If I died today, what would I want people to say about me? How do I give back to my community in ways that are measurable? What can I do to make sure my kids are raised without a “cult personality”?

  Hopefully one day I will be a person with a “post cult” personality. I want to be someone who looks for the best in others, who inspires others and who has more laugh wrinkles than frown lines. I want to live my life without fear and I want to die with dignity and no regrets.

  It is a process I realize. I feel that many who are born ins are in the same position. The challenge is trying to figure out how to build a personality that never really existed?

  SIAM
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  5

  Mars hill church

  by stuckinamovement in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is interesting reading.

  http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/church-or-cult/content?oid=12172001.

  http://www.slate.com/articles/life/faithbased/2012/02/mars_hill_pastor_mark_driscoll_faces_backlash_over_church_discipline_case_.html.

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  stuckinamovement

  This is interesting reading.

  http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/church-or-cult/Content?oid=12172001

  http://www.slate.com/articles/life/faithbased/2012/02/mars_hill_pastor_mark_driscoll_faces_backlash_over_church_discipline_case_.html

  I wonder what the average witnesses response would be to this article?

  SIAM
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  123

  An Open letter to the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses (Elders/ Ex-Elders)

  by stuckinamovement in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if you are an elder or an ex-elder please add a comment.

  i hope that the governing body will see this.

  it is too bad it has to be on an anonymous forum.

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  stuckinamovement

  Welcome a66s ! Good to have you on the board.
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  20

  Scriptural Grounds for divorce.....

  by stuckinamovement in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i was watching a dumb show with my dear wife.

  in the program a wife tried unsuccessfully to kill her husband.

  i remarked to my wife "if you ever did that i would divorce you!

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  stuckinamovement

  Thank you for the correction ynot. You are right. The problem is that many will view divorce and remarriage through the same prism.
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  20

  Scriptural Grounds for divorce.....

  by stuckinamovement in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i was watching a dumb show with my dear wife.

  in the program a wife tried unsuccessfully to kill her husband.

  i remarked to my wife "if you ever did that i would divorce you!

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  stuckinamovement

  I was watching a dumb show with my dear wife. In the program a wife tried unsuccessfully to kill her husband. I remarked to my wife "if you ever did that I would divorce you!" She responded with a laugh "fine, too bad you wouldn't have scriptural grounds!"

  You know she's right! How crazy is that? This religion is really a piece of work.

  Siam
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  43

  The gun is the SHUN: the JW's who no longer believe but cannot leave!

  by Terry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the insidious bind the watchtower religion places on their members is unconscionable.. holding family and friends "hostage" as an extortion strategy may be their most potent weapon of enforced conformity.. .

  in effect, like an armed criminal who points a gun at you and threatens "your money or your life", the watchtower leadership.

  holds the power to separate dissenting members from those whom they most cherish.

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  stuckinamovement

  I am the poster child for this. Terry you wrote a very concise accurate post. It's too true if you are in between you are in hell. You can't leave for fear of losing your family. The latest wt cements this stance.
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  90

  More anti-apostate rhetoric from the Watchtower - are they running scared?

  by cedars in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  yes, the may 15th watchtower is now available for download from jw.org.. the final study article, on page 26, directs another salvo at apostates - and warns witnesses not to try arguing with them on the internet:.

  indeed, we ought to move as far away from wrongdoing as possible and not see how close we can get to it without being overcome by sin.

  for instance, we need to guard against succumbing to apostasy, a sin that would make us unfit to glorify god.

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  stuckinamovement

  The Organization cannot refute apostate arguments because they are based in logic and fact. However ignoring the arguments is not effective either. It just feels like they have been knocked off balance and are on their heels.

  Hey Governing Body, Why don't you try to refute apostate arguments and attack the real issues instead of using name calling? Just because you say we are mentally diseased, or dishonoring god, doesn't change the fact that your theology is based on a lie. You have put yourself in an unsustainable position that requires that you use illogical arguments and ad hominem attacks to support. Come on men, act honestly, take on this mass of apostates that actually see you for what you are. If you were right and confident that you were right you would face the issue straight on.

  You are supposedly directed by God. Please show us where we are wrong. Take us on head on and debate the issues instead of hiding under your conference room table in brooklyn lobbing insults. The real truth should be able to stand on its own.

  We do not want followers as you have claimed, We do not want to draw people away from God. We just want you to stop lying and pretending to be God's "spokes-committee". Tell the truth, stand up for what is right.

  SIAM