joelbear

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Posts by joelbear

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  20

  Mother Troubles

  by joelbear in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mother called tuesday night.

  as many of you know, i have chosen to stop communication with my family as of the beginning of this year.. my mother has called 4 or 5 times to talk, but i have not called her, my father or my brother or anyone in his family.

  all of them are witnesses of varying degrees.. i tend to go into a deep depression each time my mother calls.

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  joelbear

  My mother called Tuesday night. As many of you know, I have chosen to stop communication with my family as of the beginning of this year.
  My mother has called 4 or 5 times to talk, but I have not called her, my father or my brother or anyone in his family. All of them are witnesses of varying degrees.

  I tend to go into a deep depression each time my mother calls. The guilt burden she presents is just too heavy. I have tried to explain this to her in a kind way many times, but it just doesn't get through.

  I am faced with a barrage of how unhappy I have made her, but that she still loves me. Its a game she has played with me since I was a small child. If I misbehaved (which truthfully I rarely did) or wanted more freedom than she wanted me to have, she would get depressed, threaten suicide or to disappear and abandon the family (she did this to me repeatedly from as far back as I can remember). I was so terrified that she would abandon me that I used to check for back entrances to ladies restrooms when we were out shopping to make sure she wouldn't get away through another exit. I can remember her sitting at the table and pulling on her hair while telling me how unhappy I was making her. So much for the witnesses making you a happy person. It sure didn't work with my mother and she is as faithful a witness as there can be.

  It is hard for me to make decisions for myself now. I get very confused because I try to factor in the feelings of all the people around me so that I don't upset anyone. This hampers my ability to build real relationships with people.

  Any suggestions on how to cope with this and/or try to communicate with my mother more successfully would be appreciated. She is 75 and in bad health.

  thanks in advance

  Joel
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  5

  Did You Join the Borg to Rescue a Loved One?

  by Ray Skyhorse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm not a jw (and never have been) and my wife is in the borg.

  she was assmimilated about 12 years ago.

  i also have a 5 month old son.. my question is, has anyone ever joined the borg with the intent of trying to get a son/daughter/wife/etc.

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  joelbear

  I agree that you shouldn't join. I would encourage you to keep you wife and kids from as many meetings as possible. Fill up their time with other family strengthening pursuits. Become as strong a family as possible.

  I basically became a JW to try to keep my family together. My mother was deeply depressed, my father and brother were abusive alcoholics. I saw myself as the family savior, big mistake. I did everything I could, pioneer, bethel, work, work work, my family was still miserable. Then I left to live my own life and they are still miserable. After all these years, I am just beginning to understand that I am not the cause of them being miserable, nor could I have ever made them happy.

  best wishes to you and hugs

  Joel
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  61

  Perfection and the Penis

  by crossroads in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  did jesus get circumcised or not?

  quote from mark(thats me) "i believe woman was the .

  last and greatest creation" of course i have my own.

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  joelbear

  Imagine my disappointment when I found out this was not a discussion about the perfect penis.

  Well, in my opinion, all penises are perfect, some, however, are more perfect than others.

  Among the homosexual bear community there are individuals who actively work to eliminate the practice of circumcision. I don't get that worked up about the issue personally.

  I personally don't find uncircumcised or as more commonly termed uncut penises as attractive, but there are those who rave about them.

  I find penile coloring and texture more interesting than whether they are cut or uncut.

  hugs

  Joel
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  13

  Did I do the right thing?

  by dmouse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife is still a loyal dub, and i allow her to take my son (13 years) and daughters (9 & 11) to the meetings, assemblies and on the service.

  i cannot talk to her about her beliefs because, well, she refuses to talk about them.

  she knows that i no longer believe, but not much in the way of detail.

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  joelbear

  I'll stick to my recommendation. A father will earn more respect by discussing things with a son that by just dictating orders.

  hugs

  Joel
• 
  13

  Did I do the right thing?

  by dmouse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife is still a loyal dub, and i allow her to take my son (13 years) and daughters (9 & 11) to the meetings, assemblies and on the service.

  i cannot talk to her about her beliefs because, well, she refuses to talk about them.

  she knows that i no longer believe, but not much in the way of detail.

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  joelbear

  A 13 year old is old enough to make his own decisions. I would sit down with him and tell him about your dreams for him and your confidence in him and how much you want for him out of life, including an education.

  But, at 13, he should be allowed to decide for himself whether he should take part in the part.

  Have you asked him how he feels about the subject matter?

  hugs

  Joel
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  33

  Why do elders come unnanounced.......

  by ISP in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yeah, like these guys never make appointments.

  just stroll up when it suits them and not you.

  is it ignorance or simply a matter of discourtesy?

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  joelbear

  (Blast of music)

  NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!

  pythonlike hugs

  Joel
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  45

  Staying awake during the Watchtower study

  by drahcir yarrum in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here's a question i always wanted answered during the years i was a witness.

  what's the best way to stay awake during the watchtower study?

  oh, furthermore, what's the best way to stay awake during any witness "snooze-a-thon" brainwashing session?

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  joelbear

  Passing the time.

  1. See how many words you can make out of the letters in the year text. You can only use the letters that are there.

  2. Try to guess which section of the audience will be called on for the next answer.

  3. Try to guess the letter that appears the most times in the next paragraph.

  4. Follow all the cute husky brothers to the bathroom.

  Leoj
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  10

  Creation evidences

  by Rex B13 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  summary of the evidences for creation.

  "mosaic" organs: body parts that are very similar appear sporadically among species that are apparently unrelated (e.g., the eyes of the octopus and of man).

  also, the protein structure of "unrelated" species show the same mosaic pattern (i.e., hemoglobin).. "living fossils": animals that were long thought of as being extinct have suddenly turned up in virtually an unchanged form as their fossil counterparts.

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  joelbear

  If there is a god who created life why didn't he put life everywhere, on every planet in the solar system?
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  42

  Studying

  by tattoogrl333 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i flat out asked the jw i'm studying with what she would do if someone was disfellowshipped and she was honest and said she wouldn't talk to them since they wouldn't be good examples of jehovah witness.

  then we started talking about appearances and tattoos, and about my pink hair :) and she said it didn't matter.

  i am enjoying reading and visiting this web site but i am just not seeing the same things you guys have.

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  joelbear

  Hi Tattoo,

  I suggest you show your tattoos to a representative sample of the witnesses and see how they treat you as a person.

  That still won't tell you anything though. The treatment will change when you are baptized.

  Oh well, some things you can only learn from going through them yourself.

  We or others will be here at the other end.

  hugs

  Joel
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  11

  How to Defeat Disfellowshipping

  by metatron in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  people have a right to choose their own associates.. likewise, parents should have strong influence over.

  who their minor children associate with.. these truths are a far cry, however from the inept and.

  cruel actions of elders, in hunting down, stalking,.

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  joelbear

  I shun my witness family because their influence is dangerous to me. They have ruined their own lives with their sickness and have helped ruin many others by tying them to the Watchtower.

  I will have no part of it any more.

  I stand by my statement that this is the best way to defeat disfellowshipping.

  hugs

  Joel