The reality is that elders wield a lot of power in their KHs. JWs - even many XJWs - often underestimate this. It's one of the reasons why one congregation can be surprisingly moderate while another can be strict even by WT standards within the same area. It really boils down to the body of elders.
If your elders choose to interpret things as being black and white, then that's how it will be. If they choose to look the other way for things that other KHs in your area would DF you for, that's how it will be as well. But only at that KH.
Most of them seem to fall somewhere in-between. Halls vary more than people seem to realize. Including the uber-JW.