it's obvious that the sense of freedom is a dominant.
feeling among most persons here, but it would be .
interesting to hear in what way(s) you feel you .
The most obvious change that I noticed after about 5-6 years out was that I had lost that constant feeling of dread. Always wondering if someone was going to find out what I really thought. Always worrying that the big A was gonna come each and every day. Constantly praying to J to "fix me", that kinda stuff. I have also lost my ulcer which I first got at the age of 15. It took me about 10 years to finally allow myself to just be happy. Now I'm happiness overdrive!
Peace,
Jon
i was aware when i da'd myself that i would be shunned.
what i didn't expect was how my children would be treated by brothers and sisters.
no phone calls or anything.
Jurs,
It's sick and it's twisted and there is no explination or excuse for it. You are correct, it is not a truly loving organiztion. I have witnessed this type of behavior in the past and it turns my stomache. Years ago a good friend of mine was DF'd. She had 2 children ages 12 and 14. Some of the sisters in our congo decided that they could no longer invite the kids to social gatherings within the congregation. When I asked why I was told by one elders wife to mind my own business. When I persisted she said that she couldn't in good conscience allow her children to associate with them since they no longer had any spiritual influence in their lives. I thought that was a crock of shit and I told her just that. Well that started WW3 in our congo but that's another story.
I would suggest that you try as best you can to insulate your kids from those that treat them that way. We as adults can "take it" if we choose to, but kids can be damaged emotionally from this type of experience.
One personal word of warning. Not to throw scare tactics around but I try to pass this along to any DF'd or DA'd person I meet that have young children. I don't know the status of the remainder of your family with the borg. If you have close family that are still witnesses I want to tell you about what happened to my oldest sister. She tried to explain until she was blue in the face to the elders in her congo that her husband, who was also a JW was abusive to her and the children. They gave her the normal spiel about how everything was her fault blah blah blah. She decided that the only way out of the marriage was to commit adultery so that she could get a divorce. She had a one night stand with a coworker and was DF'd. During the divorce proceedings our father and 2 other elders in the congo testified for her ex husband to get custody of the kids since they believed my sister to be an unfit mother. Of course it was ok for them to be left with an abusive father who was still a JW as long as they weren't with their DF'd mother who was trying to protect herself and them from that sick fuck. It worked and it took her 5 years to regain custody. Like I said I don't know if any of this applies to your situation but I just wanted to pass along the info just in case there is someone lurking that might need it. Sadly sometimes when you leave the WT you can't even trust your own family.
Peace and love to you and yours,
Jon
i wish to open a thread on a bit of a controversial issue so belt-on the self control!
my question?
why do some of us attack jws as people and who are our real targets?.
Hello Hillary,
I must admit your post struck a chord in my heart, but from a totally different perspective. You want to know why some XJW's treat all current JW's with loathing? Call me naive but I see it coming from the other direction. Why do most current JW's treat XJW's with such hatred? I'm not referring to the doctrinal issue of shunning either, I'm talking about human civility. For example, there are some JW's that I have known my entire life that will not only pass me on the street without speaking, but will look at me as if I had no right to be on the street at all. I've had elders in the congo that I grew up in snicker to their wives and actually point at me in the grocery store! Still there are others that will quietly ask me how I am doing when we meet in public while nervously watching over their shoulder to make sure no one has noticed. Believe me the cordial ones are in the minority. I was raised a JW and was taught that I should love all people. Mabey I took that too literally? When I was still in the borg, I truly grieved for my friends who were DF'd and I would search for ways to let them know that I was there for them. I would make eye contact with them at meetings and try to "bump" into them in public to make sure they knew I trully cared for them as people and not just about their status as a JW. Most current JW's I know that follow the shunning doctrine of the WT seem to do it with glee. It's like they enjoy the hell out of making someone feel miserable. I've witnessed it in my own family and it makes my heart sick! I understand your question Hillary, and I agree that there are some XJW's that despise all current JW's. But I must tell you that from my personal experience, it has mainly been the other way around.
The only comment I have on the victims portion of your post is that I agree with Kent. A victim is only a victim if they allow themselves to be. And just to clarify I'm talking about adults, not children.
Peace and love to you and yours,
Jon
i have just finished making phone calls informing the family of the death of my stepfather.
i was an adult when he married my mother, but i loved him very much.
he was a wonderful man.. although he was a faithful jw, for his entire life (he was born to it) he was a really good man, and a true christian, i believe.
Marilyn,
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Take heart in the fact that he is in a better place, whatever you believe that to be.
My thoughts are with you,
Jon
just wondered if anyone had any idea how much it costs to produce any of the jw videos?.
.
free
Free,
Hmmmm....let me see.
1. Video camera costs = 0.00 (donated by JW that works at Videos R Us because higher education was a no no!)
2. Actors pay = 0.00 (time donated by out of work JW actors that never won an Oscar and are extremely bitter about it)
3. Editing costs = 0.00 (again time donated by disgruntled JW with stars in his or her eyes)
4. Soundtrack costs = 0.00 (does the name Prince ring a bell, or should I say Brother Nelson)
5. Directors fee cost = 0.00 (because all the members of the GB take turns as Director so as not to cause disillusionment among the rank and file)
6. Food Service cost = 0.00 (Brother Emeril Legasse is in the back room as we speak cooking up some wholesome blood sausage BAM)
7. Materials cost = .79 if you buy the blank tapes in bulk as I'm sure the cost conscious Brothers at Bethel do. (We wouldn't want them spending the publishers donations any other way now would we?)
So there you have it, a grand total of 79 cents.
And how much are they charging, I mean requesting that publishers
donate for these tapes???????
Things that make you go hmmmmm!!!!
In all seriousness,
Jon
bicker and complain all day?
why not try to show some love around here?
just wondering.... with love,
Bibleboy,
No this is not all I do all day but thank you for asking. As I type this post I am simultaneously making dinner, doing laundry and downloading 2 porn videos at the same time. Isn't life grand!
BTW did you see the post by DCs Ghost entitled "How gay are you"?
There is a lot of love going around on that post!
Peace and love (see more love!) to you and yours,
Jon
i have gotten a little mean in my old age.
my sister-in-law is a born again church of god life time member and sometimes is a little dogmatic.
i love to point out fallacies in her religious thinking.. this might have been a little unfeeling on my part but she was talking to my wife about a tragic happening in her life 26 years ago.
RexB13,
You said: "You really blew it, Ken."
And you also said: "Before you go making a fool of yourself again with a born-again Christian, you need to actually see what they believe and WHY they believe it!"
And then you also said: "Are you as amused as I am by the various riff-raff who chime in with insults directed at anyone with faith? I can always count on butterBoynenko, who probably fantasizes about spending a night with his hero, Alan F."
How very pompous of you! Practice what you preach Rex. If you're going to dish out insults to those of us who don't agree with your belief system, then you should be prepared to take what is thrown back at you.
Jon
when i was separating from my wife and leaving the jws, i had some visions.
for some strange reason, i decided not to eat for a day, then when i found my thinking clearer and my emotions mellower, i fasted for another two days.
so after the third day, i was walking down our street and i saw the houses burning after me, i felt this was an affirmation that marriage was decay and destruction, or wasteage.
Philo,
I have always had "visions" per say. When I was very young my great grandmother who died on the day I was born use to come to me and tell me things that were going to happen. I thought my dad was going to have a heart attack the first time I told him about it. I told him exactly what she was wearing when she would come to see me and it turns out it was the same outfit she was buried in. I verified this with my grandmother. Dad thought I was possesed or something so I just stopped telling him about it. I have also had visits from my mother since her passing. The first time I saw her was at my sisters wedding. I was about 15 and my father was officiating the ceremony. I was looking toward the back of the Kingdom Hall and I saw my mother standing in the foyer. This was 2 1/2 years after she passed. I know my father saw her too because right in the middle of his sermon all the blood left his face and I thought he was gonna pass out. He denied it but I could tell by the look in his eyes he had seen her. The last time she came to see me was about 6 years ago. She sat on the edge of the bed and told me that my partners mom had just passed. About 2 minutes later the phone rang and it was Kevins stepfather giving him the news.
Funkyderek: I know it's hard for someone who has never had this experience to understand it. Let me assure you that I have never seen any of the visions I've experienced while under the influence of any substance, or in a state of extreme stress. They are real, but they are not from our level of consciousness, so I'm not surprised that some people would not understand.
Peace and love,
Jon
i just found out my best friend died this morning.
i'm not looking for sympathy, i just need some input.
we were very close and worked together volunteering for the aids foundation here in my hometown.
Hi all,
Just wanted to thank you all for your kind words. You don't know what it means to me to know that there are so many good people out there. Pauls funeral was at noon today and after talking to his mother I decided not to go. I went to a park where we had spent alot of time together and took my boom box with me. I played his favorite song "Silver Spring" by Fleetwood Mac as loud as it would go. I cried alot but I got to say my goodbyes in private. Except for the bag lady sitting about 30 feet from me who obviously thought I was mental.
Joel, thank you thank you thank you. Pauls mom told me he had made her promise she wouldn't call me and tell me he was sick. She gave me the letter and one day I'll read it but not today. I can't deal with any more tears today. You are a kind and gentle soul Joel, tell Mitch I think he's lucky as hell.
Tina, Dave and Riz,
Your emails saved me from the edge. I'm honored to call each of you the best word in the world, Friend. PS check your emails.
Peace and love to you and yours,
Jon
i just found out my best friend died this morning.
i'm not looking for sympathy, i just need some input.
we were very close and worked together volunteering for the aids foundation here in my hometown.
Joel,
Paul and I met when I was 16 and just coming out. Like your friend Ira he was the first openly gay person I knew and he showed me that "worldly people" were more loving and comforting than all the the JWs I had ever known. I spoke with his mother a little while ago and she told me that he left me a letter, but that she wasn't allowed to give it to me until after the funeral. He put a note on the outside of the envelope to tell his mom to tell me that he loved me and that he wanted me to remember our pact. I don't know if I can deal with this. It may seem stupid to be posting this on a db but it's the only way I can seem to get it out. My partner Kevin and I have been talking for the last 4 hours and he says that I can still go to the viewing without breaking my promise, but I freak out when I see dead people and I don't want to upset his mom any more than she already is. Paul's dad died 8 months ago and we both waited at the cememtery till the hearse arrived and then we left and went to see a drag show and got drunk. It was the first time we had seen each other in months. I know that sounds stupid but it helped him deal with it better. Why didn't he tell me he was sick? His mom didn't know why and I'm totally losing it so I gotta go.
jon
