welcome to the board, _atlas.
the only thing "in" the WTBTs is family and people. These individuals are under mind-control. So why would anyone want to lose their freedom to think?
The "hook" or dangling carrot of the WTBTs is the paradise. If you keep your eyes "on the prize" you don't really look at the teachings/doctrines/actions of the WTBTs. You try to make whatever it says fit into your reality of life so that you can attain that prize.
At least you are starting to think and question on your own. It is scary at first, but you'll eventually deprogram enough to see it is all a house of cards, filled with smoke and mirrors. Thus there really isn't anything to go back to. It is all lies.
Joy