Posts by LostnFound

25

Feeling really sad

by NiceDream in

my husband and i have been married for almost 10 years.

we were married really young, and tried to make the best of it.

recently, i began listening to my lingering doubts and realized i've been so unhappy because i was living a lie.

Congregation Elders got a letter from headquarters on "Sexting". I guess this is the latest trend causing problems.

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

last week, my coboe, formerly known as the po, read a letter from ny giving directions on how to handle cases of "sexting" in the congregation.

i've vaguely heard of sexting in news articles.

i'm thinking though, the branch isn't going to send out a letter unless there's a trend.

LostnFound

I hope in the JC meetings they don't ask to look at the pics, 'just to be sure'... but it wouldn't surprise me if they did.

18

Are their d2d presentations good enough to convert?

by highdose in

jw
friends

i remember asking a uber dub i was on the fs with " if you were the hh would you want to know more after listening to your presentation?

" she addmitted that no, she wouldn't have wanted to listen further.. so basicly the fs is really quite useless?

the jws doing it mostly have neither the skills nor interest to make a hh want to listen.

When I was still going to meetings, there was an experience of person becoming a new study.. The pioneer sister said she had called (phone service) this person for several years and never got a response. One day, the person answered the phone and was all in a panic- instead of going with her presentation the pioneer asked if she could help in any way. She ended up taking the lady to work, picking her up in the evening- and helping somehow with the lady's adult daughter. Now the pioneer drives her to all the meetings, and they are studying.

I remember quite a few years ago at a DC a pioneer said she can do D2D service in deeds, like carrying someones groceries, asking them if they need help or what not... I wonder if she slipped a tract in the boxed goods bag, or used one of those lines 'the reason I was so helpful today, was because I am a JW...'

If I was never involved in religion, I don't know how I would react to a stranger telling me they have the truth at my door.

73

Cure/Treat Cancer with Apricot seeds

by EndofMysteries in

she refused chemo and started the seeds.

if you want his phone number send us e-mail.. steve j. was going to the bathroom 4-5 times per night.

he was diagnosed with prostate cancer after a biopsy and is doing fine and will continue to do so.

LostnFound

I have heard of this before- my husband and I eat them regularly (they taste really bitter!) Thanks for the post!!

19

Do you really want to live forever?

by exwhyzee in

i'm not sure if i do or if thinking the idea of living forever as a "good thing" was just something that was planted in my mind like a lot of the other stuff.

is the desire to live forever something that i really want or have i been taught that it is something that i should want?

i know i don't want to die, especially a violent death, but i can't imagine still wanting to be here 10 million years from now just because back in 19xx my parents concieved me.

LostnFound

Call me crazy, but I like the thought of dying. I used to be terrified of dying, but I've come to accept the fact that it'll happen. Now the thought of living forever perplexes me, I just can't fathom it. Nothing is forever. Everything eventually ends. Knowing that I am going to die makes me appreciate what I have now more. Makes me appreciate the experiences I've gone through, and the places I've traveled. If I knew that I could be doing all those things forever and ever, I wouldn't care about now- it might become boring and routine, and be taken for granted. It reminds me of a good quote from the movie Troy:

"I'll tell you a secret. Something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again"

29

Name Things JWs Make Issues Over They Have No Right To Do

by minimus in

jw
friends

the witnesses are worse than the pharisees ever were!.

if you don't turn in a time slip and record your "ministerial" activities, you are no good.. if you wanted to smoke, you would be kicked out, even though the bible says nothing about smoking (and j.f.

rutherford, the society's president regularly smoked).. you cannot go to a "quick build" project and give of your free services if you are wearing a tee shirt with a logo on it!.

LostnFound

Who you love

Who you choose to be friends with

What kind of career is a 'good one'

21

Intro-

by LostnFound in

well i figure since i have been posting on this site, i might as well share my little bit.

it's in no way unique or special, it just is what it is.

from the time i was a tot, my parents took us to meetings.

LostnFound

Wow, thank you for the nice comments and the welcome !!

lisavegas420 and Scarred For Life- To answer your questions about my husbands reaction- well, he was really patient and tried so hard to be understanding. He drove me to the Judicial Meeting, and waited in the car. He saw how nervous I was, and told me it wasn't something that he thought I needed to do, but if I felt like I wanted to (to move on) then he supported me, and would do everything he could to make it better. (He also wanted to go in because he wasn't sure how they would talk to me, and he was worried they would make me cry and feel bad). The meeting took like 2 and a half hours, and when I finally came out- he said he was just about to go in there and see if I was ok. Over the course of the two months he drove me to all the meetings, and picked me up. He was really supportive, and even though JW is something he would never have believed in, I think he bit his tongue many times because he knew I was trying to believe it again. A few JW's introduced themselves to him while he was in the lot waiting, and he was nice to them. He never made me feel bad or stupid for believing it, so that was really nice! And when I finally decided that it was no go, he didn't say 'I told you so'. I always felt really lucky to have found someone who was understanding of the situation, and let me figure it out for myself. Now that religion is not something between us, we have had a lot of good discussions about my past. The Judicial Meeting, disfellowshipping, lack of love, lying, damaged families, control- are all things he felt strongly against.

My relationship with parents has changed a bit, and that's ok. When I first started dating my husband, I felt like I needed to keep it a secret. A lot of lying ensued trying to keep it to myself. Over the course of about 9 months, I lied a lot- so it was hard for everyone when I finally told them 'yeah, we're going out'. For about 2 months, we didn't speak. It was really upsetting, but I understood- and I was angry. Because we didn't get married right away, when we would visit my parents we stayed in a hotel. It was awkward at first, because my parents were defensive and disappointed. But my husband was such a nice guy, he was so patient, and didn't push anything with them. When we got married, my parents came and that was really nice. (It was a small wedding, due to the circumstances). Still to this day, I don't know if they cried because they were happy, or because they knew I wouldn't be going back to them. My mom sent me magazines and books, and when we would talk on the phone she would try and 'encourage' me to go back. I think part of the reason I did was to please them on some level, because I knew I had disappointed them so much before that. They really thought that at my second Judicial Meeting I would be D/Fed. I stopped going after the 2 months, and a few months later I went and visited my parents. Religion came up again (due to my mom having received the phone call from the sister I had studied with a few days before I arrived). We got in to a huge fight, and I basically told my mom I want nothing to do with it- and she admitted to me, that she does not like the congregation and would rather not go to meetings. (I was shocked because she always talked so positively about how good of a thing it was in her life, how much it had done for them..) Since then, we don't talk about it. Our relationship is good, but I feel it is a little different from how it was when I was at home, going to meetings. They don't attend many meetings anymore, so I am not sure what will happen in the future. I am just happy that now things are out in the open, and we can move on in our relationship!

21

Intro-

by LostnFound in

well i figure since i have been posting on this site, i might as well share my little bit.

it's in no way unique or special, it just is what it is.

from the time i was a tot, my parents took us to meetings.

LostnFound

Well I figure since I have been posting on this site, I might as well share my little bit. It's in no way unique or special, it just is what it is.

From the time I was a tot, my parents took us to meetings. They were never very pushy, never forced us to go in service or comment. They did what they could to try and help us learn- family bible study etc. When I was little, I had many happy memories of other JW children throwing dressup parties (non bible characters) having family BBQ's and picnics... As I got older though, things started to change.

When we moved, the new hall we were in had a lot of young kids. Many of them left. My sister and I were left with no one our age, except the zealous elder/pioneering mother kids. We didn't fit in. In school I desparately tried to fit in and prove to the other kids that I wasn't like the other JW kids (who would sit during the national anthem, made a fuss about the Christmas songs and decorations). It worked, I had a lot of school friends- but found it frusterating I couldn't go to their houses, or school dances, or stay afterschool to watch sports. My parents allowed us to be friendly with kids from school, but when it came to extra activities we were denied. In highschool I became friends with a new girl who moved to town who was a JW- it was pretty good. Between the two of us, we were able to convince our parents to let us go to one school dance a year and be in plays. Then after graduation, she got a 'worldly boyfriend' and was disfellowshipped, and I was alone again. (She didn't want to get me into trouble, so she stopped talking to me and moved away- we have since resumed communication, and I am happy! I had lost 3 years with her and that makes me really sad, I never believed or liked that rule. How could anyone feel happy going back, and then their friends could talk to them again? What kind of a friendship is that? What kind of incentive?)

Enter elder's son. I was so lonely. We started dating, and I tried really hard to fit the mould of his family's 'ideal daughter-in-law'. I began going in service regularly, commenting 2-3 times per meeting, studying... I was making good progress, but didn't feel the need to get baptized. My ex confronted me with an ultimatum- either get baptized or be dumped (as it didn't look good for him or his family). I got baptized. I should have realized then he wasn't a good person, over the course of a year and a half he became really manipulative, controlling, and abusive (verbally, emotionally, then physically). I eventually got out of the relationship (much to my parents happiness), and tried to move on with my life.. About a year after that, I was called for a Judicial Committee meeting re. some 'wrong conduct' during our relationship. It was the worst experience of my life, explaining myself in front of 3 strangers and my father and sister. Like many others, I got asked really personal questions, was made to feel like a complete creep and piece of trash. I ended up getting privately reproved, and got a stern lecture on my choice of associates, moving out, moving out of their territory... It was awful, I felt like a guilty child unworthy of respect and love.

In the meantime, I met my wonderful (now)husband. The elders sensed something was up, and came to my workplace several times during their service time. They called me every week, came by and buzzed my apartment. I became fearful of them parking outside, waiting for me after work. Fortunately after a few months we were able to move. I thought I was finally able to have some peace! No more looking over my shoulder whenever we went out, no more screening calls, leaving work early when they said they'd come back to chat.

In the new city, I was seeked out at work. I had to go to another Judicial Committee meeting, because they found out I lived with and married an 'unbeliever'. I didn't see the point, but they pressured me, and told me that 'they needed to see if Jehovah approved of me going and forgave me'. It was insulting, when you think that some pedophile off the street can go, and be shown kindness by the elders. Again, I was asked awkward questions, which I didn't see the point of since we had already been married a year. When I was 'privately reproved' again I decided maybe this time would be better, but realized I had left for reasons and spending two months going to meetings and being studied with by a sister was just not something I wanted. They called many times, and the sister even called my parents to ask why I didn't want to study anymore. I didn't ever call them, or explain myself. I didn't think I owed anyone an explaination. Since then, they have left me alone- and I am glad.

The more I have been checking out this site, the more I see how blind I was. I feel cheated because I spent 20 years 'studying' and 'learning' the bible, but I feel like I know nothing- and the few things I did pick up on, I question. I am really happy with my life now, and with the freedom and peace of mind. It's just been a struggle, but that is what many people face.

I am thankful for every one of you for all your wisdom, experience, and humor! I am glad to have become a member on this site . I know time will heal all wounds, and life will go on. (Thanks for listening to me!)

18

Smurfs

by Aussie Oz in

i noted on another thread the mention of 'smurfs' and a certain jws dismissiveness of the matter.

which got me to thinking as tonights episode of southpark is about the student councel wanting to kill smurfs..... does anyone remember this one that did the rounds here in my part of oz:.

a child took a stuffed toy smurf to the meeting as a cuddle toy and partway through the meeting the smurf got down from the chair, declared it was tired of listening to this rubbish and walked out of the hall!.

LostnFound

When I was little, I was not allowed to have any smurfs or watch their TV show because apparently Satan used them as tools. I also remember hearing a story about a unicorn poster that came alive and attacked a child or something like that. Needless to say, we couldn't play with those either. (It's no wonder I was so afraid of the dark! There was a time when they focused so much on the demons coming in to homes via TV shows, furniture, cd's, books...) And then came the Furby (Furbie??) era, and from the platform we were warned of those too...

36

How old were you when you got baptized...was it your own decision?

by Desilusionnee in

jw
friends

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LostnFound

I was 19, and quite honestly I wanted to wait longer. Unfortunately I was dating a baptized member of the congregation and his family put a lot of pressure on me to do it. (His dad was an elder, his mom pioneered). I mentioned to the PO in the spring I would like to maybe work towards it for the summer convention, and he was like "Don't delay! It's a matter of salvation" and I felt obligated. I had about 2 1/2 weeks to do the questions, etc. My parents never pressured or pushed. I wish I hadn't done it at all, because I wasn't feeling genuine about it.