Posts by jst2laws

12

Painful Memories of Mark

by jst2laws in

the recent suicide of ary (puternut) has me going through some emotions that i should have finished decades ago but now they have come back with intensity.

if you are interested, i want to share with you the story of my brother, mark.

i was a teenager when my mother learned she was again pregnant.

jst2laws

Thanks for the hugs deeskis,

I have the rest of the story up now.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/107314/1.ashx

Steve

43

Cathartic Finish to Painful Memories of Mark

by jst2laws in

continued from http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/107302/1.ashx .

after 10 years in the "fultime work" my wife and i left bethel and moved back to missouri to serve where the "need was great".

mark had was about 17 and had put his foot down about going to the kh but his dad still pushed.

Continued from http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/107302/1.ashx

After 10 years in the "fultime work" my wife and I left Bethel and moved back to Missouri to serve where the "need was great". Mark had was about 17 and had put his foot down about going to the KH but his dad still pushed. There was a lot of tension in the house. This was not good for my father who was in his fifties nor for my brother, who now received approval only from his "worldly" friends. I offered a place with us up north for Mark to live so he could have a new start away from home. It seemed to go well at first since one condition I put on Mark was that he go to the KH with us. He made friends with another wayward young man at the hall, got a job in construction and had his own car.

The strange thing is that the liquor in the cabinet seemed to be disappearing. It became more obvious when my expensive Drambuie was emptied which I saved for very special drinks. Then one night Mark didn't go to the meeting because he was too tired. On our way home on the rural roads a State Trooper dashed in front of us with lights on and moving fast. That was a little unusual since we didn't have much trouble out our way so I continued home with a sense of excitement. To my surprise he pulled down our private road shared by a few neighbors and even more surprised to see him pull in our drive way. What had happened to Mark? He was inside the house (mobile home) drunk. That was a depressing moment. And why had the Trooper been called? Apparently Mark had tried to leave before we came home but was so drunk he closed his car door on his thumb. The neighbors told me later that they thought a wild cat was killing someone so they called the State Troopers. I guess Mark was too smashed to realize his screams carried deep into the wooded hollers.

Confronting Mark, he admitted to sneaking my liquor. To my shock he admitted to being an alcoholic for several years. The Trooper was satisfied that my Christian fundamentalism would prevail in this family matter and left politely. I sympathized with my brother regarding many of his problems but laid the law down firmly regarding his future behavior. This wasn't going to happen again and what's more he owed me for the cost of the liquor. I now wish I had more understanding of alcoholism at that time. But why did I need to know that stuff. I had the "truth" and Bible counsel was all we needed to fix any problem. If only I could have imagined what it might be like for him to believe the JW dogma and yet only find acceptance in "the world". Maybe I could have understood WHY he, like so many other young Watchtower rejects, was turning to altering chemistry to escape.

Well after many trying times and long talks creating unfounded hopes, Mark was suddenly laid off from his job and chose to move back to St. Louis to try it there again. After a DWI and a heavy fine for Destruction of Public Property he landed in a local hospital in their rehab program. This was the best thing to happen to Mark in several years. He came out dry, physically fit, got a good job and was even getting along at home with his parents. But an alcoholic is always an alcoholic. I wish now I would have understood what that meant.

At age 18, after only three months of success in the rehab program, he yielded and got drunk. He took a taxi to the house where he grew up, lite it on fire, and laid down in his old bedroom to die. I know he was not my son and I am not responsible for his choice, but I also know I was the only one he leaned on who could have helped him. Yet I did not have the mindset necessary to meet his needs. Instead I screwed the JW clamp tight like a good do bee elder. I wonder more than ever, now that I've left the WT, what we would be like as a family if we had never been JW's. Maybe not great either way, but cult thinking and constant rejection certainly do not produce balanced young people.

He died believing the JW's had the truth and that he was sh*t in Jehovah's eyes. This disturbs me. I sometimes wonder if he had thought that his family would love him and accept him instead of disapprove of him, even if he fell off the wagon, if he would not have chosen to go to his old bed room and end his life that night? I wonder if he had felt accepted and loved by his friends and congregation who amounted to his very life at age 14, if he would have felt the need to escape through alcohol?

I also wonder if the Watchtower will EVER realize how much harm they cause? And I wonder what I can do to stop this cycle. Can we stop this cycle? Shouldn't we try?

Someday, ask me about little Wit. That's another story, but let me cry over Mark for a while before I face any more grief.

Steve

145

Do you oppose Gay marriage?

by LittleToe in

inspired by this thread:.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/107010/1.ashx.

personally i'm hetero, though a few of my gay friends would like me to be gay .

jst2laws

Hello Truthseeker,

Don't gays want us to accept gay marriage?

No, not if you mean change your personal preferences for a mate. If by "Don't gays want us to accept gay marriage?" you mean do they want to live like anyone else without judgement and interference from others, YES. That doesn't require conversion on the part of anyone. It only requires tolerance and minding our own business.

Steve

12

Painful Memories of Mark

by jst2laws in

the recent suicide of ary (puternut) has me going through some emotions that i should have finished decades ago but now they have come back with intensity.

if you are interested, i want to share with you the story of my brother, mark.

i was a teenager when my mother learned she was again pregnant.

jst2laws

Sphere, Littletoe, Codeblue and lonelysheep,

Thanks. I'll have the rest up in a while.

Lisavegas,

Maybe they wonder the same. I would rather pester them with a phone call than possibly neglect them. If they do not respond well just chalk it up to the cult instead of blaming them.

BigTex,

Nice to hear from you. Hope we can talk some time.

Steve

12

Painful Memories of Mark

by jst2laws in

the recent suicide of ary (puternut) has me going through some emotions that i should have finished decades ago but now they have come back with intensity.

if you are interested, i want to share with you the story of my brother, mark.

i was a teenager when my mother learned she was again pregnant.

jst2laws

The recent suicide of Ary (puternut) has me going through some emotions that I should have finished decades ago but now they have come back with intensity. If you are interested, I want to share with you the story of my brother, Mark. I was a teenager when my mother learned she was again pregnant. It was a time of anxiety for my parents considering their age but it was a time of wonderful anticipation for me. I was so excited to finally have a little brother that my parents allowed me to name him, Mark, after my best friend at the time. His first bedroom of his own was upstairs off of my room. He would often lay in my bed at night before I would insist he go to his own room and go to sleep. We would talk about everything a little person needs to know: What is air made of? Why does a ball bounce? Does Jehovah have a big toilet in heaven? When I went off to Bethel he was only five years old and my parents told me he cried constantly. But I was going through some adjustments of my own then and couldn't concern myself with his needs. I had for the most part exited his life for the next twelve years. Mark was doing well enough as a young JW. His dad had finally quit smoking and was now a JW too. Mark was doing his best to be the good little preacher. When he ended up in the hospital after being hit by a car his chief concern was that his new book bag was all scratched up. But about the time of puberty, he started to have some conflicts with folks at the kingdom hall. He got in a heap of trouble with an old sister sitting in front of him because she thought he was deliberately kicking her chair during the meeting. He was bored and fidgety for sure, what kid his age at the kingdom hall wasn't? Then the elders started coming down on his little group of friends. They were the type that preferred to hangout in the men's room as long as possible, making jokes about the stodgy elders and the self righteous old sisters. He had begun to feel unwelcome. The last straw was when someone at the circuit assembly, held in the high school gym, pulled the fire alarm and the entire crowd had to be ushered out. No one knew for sure who did it but the blame went on Mark, "it just had to be him". Who knows, maybe it was, but it seems from that point Mark was a young man who belonged NO WHERE. He had been a JW all his life. That meant he was an odd ball at school abstaining from holidays, sitting through the national anthem (that was required then), refusing to develop friendships with school mates. We all did that, didn't we, because we believed we had the truth. This sacrifice was for our own good so we could survive Armageddon and set a good example for others who might follow our lead. But now Mark was also an outsider at the kingdom hall, not good enough for the theocratic new order. I don't know how long he floundered in this never land of displacement but I do know when it changed for him. The last day of junior high school. Being slightly built and the JW odd ball he was a target for ridicule. One particularly big bad dog who irritated everyone had singled Mark out to be his special 'chew toy'. This appears to have been going on for a couple of years but on this last day of school Mark's frustration had reached it's limit. He responded to a physical threat from this bugger with an unanticipated Mike Tyson right hander. The big bully ran away crying with his bloodied nose. Mark was suddenly the school hero. He had dethroned the evil king and was celebrated as if he had single handedly pulled down the statue of Saddam Hussan. Mark now belonged. He was welcomed, accepted, even special. Although this attention came from the forbidden source, 'Satan's evil world', it provided him the validation he lacked for so many years. He didn't need to be somebody special, he just relished in the feeling of being SOMEBODY. I'm certain that Mark still believed the JW world view but I also suspect that in his heart he was silently saying to the elders and the old biddy's at the KH, F**k you. While this was the beginning of the real life for Mark, it was also the beginning of his end. I'm sorry this is getting so long so please let me post this and I will put up the rest of the story a little later today, when I finish it. Steve

Finish of story at http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/107314/1.ashx

98

Sad news from Maui

by Makena1 in

jw
friends

we went to our favorite beach, met up with some of our local friends.

we don't have much in the way of details - but heard some devasting news that ari (well known to seattle area exjw's and i am sure by many on the board) killed himself sometime over last weekend.

he was so excited about moving to maui, and starting a new life here.

jst2laws

Good bye Ary

A few pictures gleaned from my encounters with Ary.

Steve

30

I just sent my JW family packing

by unbeliever in

jw
friends

my mom asked me if some of her jw relatives from ca could come and stay .

with me for 2 days and see some of the sites.

mom told them all about .

jst2laws

Hello Unbeliever,

This was good reading, thanks. Although it was a tough few days and the JW's can be wierd and ungrateful at times, it sounds like your relatives are a little extreme in this area. Sorry you had to deal with it.

Gary,

For exercise we go coon huntin'. For fun we go to Dicky's. It's a grocery store and it's big. It's got two cash registers. . . Granny can't git to no meetings anymore cause her wound from her gall bladder operation she had in 1999 won't heal right. She keeps picking the scab off of it. The Society sends her tapes of the Watch dog magazine but we don't have a tape player anymore since three Circuit Servant visits ago

I hope you write this. I love those tales. I even have the book. http://www.freeminds.org/buss/okies.htm

Steve

175

This may be my last postso goodbye and thanks

by seven006 in

jw
friends

i never thought i would do one of those infamous goodbye i cant take this board anymore posts where the person shows up again a week later and looks like an idiot.

when i had enough of this board and needed a little break i would just quietly leave for a few months and hopefully nobody noticed.

that is not the case this time.

jst2laws

Steve

60

Quotes update: Free to publicly comment on the action

by Quotes in

for the newbies, this post is a follow up on my situation regarding the watch tower's law suit against my due to my watch tower quotes web site.

for the background on the story so far, see these threads:

quotes website receives "cease & desist"

jst2laws

Hey Quotes,

Good to have it behind you. There must be a God after all, judging by the way this turned out. Only problem for the Watchtower, He was on your side. Now your work, that they tried to shut down, is going up all over and in places they can't reach. It is so embarrasing I think they bring reproach on Jehovah's name by claiming he supports them.

Jst2laws

22

Watchtower exposed - video

by truth_about_the_truth in

.

this looks kind of dated but it's really good..

jst2laws

I think it is a good tool. A lot of people will have doubts but are reluctant to dive into a book. They can learn a lot from a 58 minute video.

Steve