Posts by Thetis

55

..Which has Caused You the Most Grief in Your Life..The Outside World or Watchtower World?..

by OUTLAW in

jw
friends

according to the wbt$... the outside world is supposed to be a horrible place... .

the outside world hasn't caused me nearly as much grief,as watchtower world... outside world (5% grief).....watchtower world..(95% grief)... .

which has caused you the most grief in your life... the outside world or watchtower world?...

Thetis

Love it! - A thousand stories of Madness

OR

How to become psychotic, neurotic, depressed or uneducated....chuckle..

61

Do you have ...

by talesin in

jw
friends

an inspirational quote or saying you would like to share?

i have a little book that i write stuff down in,, some funny, some serious .... .

here's one i stole from a friend's f/b feed..... .

Thetis

Thought these were rather apt -

"It took me a long time not to judge myself through someóne else's eyes". - Sally Field

"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

And then the day came,

when the risk

to remain tight

in a bud

was more painful

than the risk

it took

to Blossom - Anais Nin

55

..Which has Caused You the Most Grief in Your Life..The Outside World or Watchtower World?..

by OUTLAW in

jw
friends

according to the wbt$... the outside world is supposed to be a horrible place... .

the outside world hasn't caused me nearly as much grief,as watchtower world... outside world (5% grief).....watchtower world..(95% grief)... .

which has caused you the most grief in your life... the outside world or watchtower world?...

I sure miss those days in WTW- working with brother "psychotic" who jammed his foot in the door - spittle flying as he spoke about the harlot and Babylon the Great and you are only 6 years old. Or how about seeing the sadness of the elderly couple whose only son has been disfellowshipped and you hear the whispers of the adults about them being spiritually weak as they haven't cut ties with him ..

Then you see the bowed head of the grandfather who took blood to save his life.....and you know something is wrong but you are too young too understand and you should be happy because you are constantly told how happy Jehovah's people are....so there is clearly something wrong with you...

Roll on the teenage years - the Elder who lords over you and subjects you to humiliation - don't get me started on brother "amoeba brain" who calls on you to do a shepherding call and pats himself on the back for shepherding the flock with love when all he has done is read from an outline... he doesn't know how fragile your state of mind is....and then discusses your son's red tie which is way too bright....heaven forbid such an indiscretion.....sure miss those days...

To quote Aristotle:-"would you rather be a happy pig or an unhappy human"" - and yes there are times when I drown in despair (because of the residue left by them) but I would rather be a very conscious human....

So, grief in WTW would be 98%. I'm sorry about your parents. Still cannot understand my Dad - he was intelligent but way too sensitive and wanted a better life....the irony of it all. He died a broken man.... sorry about the rant.....

And Shamus, please write that book.....

18

Why do exJW family members not reach out to other exJW family members?

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

i don't know if this strange phenomenon is unique to my family but it seems that those who have left the truth have little to no interest in reaching out to those family members who have also left the religion.. it seems topsy turvy to me.

surely, there would be common ground and mutual support for those leaving/have left but this does not seem to be the case.. does anyone else have this problem?.

Thetis

Agree with all that has been said. I have an ex brother-in-law that I would love to contact. However, his brother is an elder and this makes me anxious. Will he mention how I feel and how will this impact on my own family? So sad that we are still affected by them......even if it doesn't work out, at least it would be wonderful to have that choice of finding out....

42

How well do you sleep?

by Lozhasleft in

jw
friends

for years i've been pretty good at getting a good night's sleep.

a couple of pages of my book and i'm away til morning, apart from the odd bladder brigade journey.

however, suddenly, after our house move, i am having just an awful time of it.

Thetis

I've always been a chronic insomniac - waking up at about 3am. However, it got worse when we moved close to the sea - the sound of the crashing waves drove me crazy for a while - until I got used to the sound.

These days, I alternate between natural tabs like Valerian, Biral, lavender spray for my pillow.....also find that autogenic training is quite effective - slowly letting my body get heavier and heavier.....if all else fails, I log on and read what you are all saying...chuckle..

An alternative therapist once suggested Gaba and Melatonin but if you are on an anti-depressant, you also have to be careful of any interactions....often thought of weed, but would probably get arrested in my country...

Hope you resolve this soon....it really does undermine your ability to cope....

25

How can I get past the anger?

by Rocky_Girl in

jw
friends

i have gotten through so much of the anger i felt toward my parents for their part in my screwed up childhood.

i know they were just doing what they thought was right.

but now, as i celebrate holy and special days with my children i feel a new anger because i cannot give them the big family celebration they deserve.

Thetis

Anger has also been a huge issue for me and it's so damaging to one. After seeing quite a few therapists, who helped me establish why I felt this way, I felt that I needed someone to give me advice on how to let go. I am now seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist. I've only been twice but can already see results.

9

Religious guilt puts brakes on sex lives

by Thetis in

article in our local paper stating that atheists have far better sex lives than religious people, who are plagued with guilt during intercourse and for weeks afterwards, researches have found.. a study found that non-believers were more willing to discuss sexual fantasies and more satisfied with their experiences..... then went on to say that strict religions such as mormons ranked highest on the scale of sexual guilt.

their average score was 8.19 out of 10. they were followed closely by jehovah's witnesses, pentecostals, seventh day adventists and baptists.

interesting that catholics scored 6.34.. this article brought back memories for me as a newly married jw.

Thetis

Thanks for the link BP. I am a continent away and I see they stole that article. The other article I mentioned was written by a local reporter.

Mr M, they are extremely intrusive and it's incredible that we have accepted this. A friend who is still a JW was recently telling me about an elder who called on her about 20 years ago to ask whether she was engaging in oral sex as she was married to a "worldly guy" - and let's face it, these worldly men are perverted you know. I asked her whether she thought it strange that he would call on her alone.... said she did find it odd but he is an Elder (All Elders are eunuchs I guess), however she was extremely embarrassed and this was the first time she had mentioned this incident to anyone.

How many of us have experienced incidences like this and yet we refused to acknowledge that this wasn't normal behaviour.

I digress but a young girl who left the org. cited this particular elder as the reason she had left. Maintained he had stumbled her because he had made advances towards her. Of course nobody believed her. In hindsight, I wonder.

On the other side of the coin, can you imagine what the elders must have gone through listening to sisters who ran to them with every trivial detail.

9

Religious guilt puts brakes on sex lives

by Thetis in

article in our local paper stating that atheists have far better sex lives than religious people, who are plagued with guilt during intercourse and for weeks afterwards, researches have found.. a study found that non-believers were more willing to discuss sexual fantasies and more satisfied with their experiences..... then went on to say that strict religions such as mormons ranked highest on the scale of sexual guilt.

their average score was 8.19 out of 10. they were followed closely by jehovah's witnesses, pentecostals, seventh day adventists and baptists.

interesting that catholics scored 6.34.. this article brought back memories for me as a newly married jw.

Thetis

Oz, once my scanner is repaired, will gladly post or get someone to do it for me. Found it surprising that 2 articles were written in our normally conservative paper - within a month apart. The second one discussed the fact that far from being the purveyors of unconditional love and acceptance, organised religion often comes with a rather large asterisk. Then goes on to say that even within the broad confines of Christianity, multiple sects and fringes have their own holy cows, so to speak......Mormonism demands that we subscribe - in theory as well as in practice - to the fact that men are superior to women in every way, while virtually every denomination, from the Baptists all the way through to the Jehovah's Witnesses, believe that God takes a very keen, very stern interest in who you love, how you love them and what happens behind your bedroom door at night....this asterisk of God's love and acceptance, as interpreted by a group of elders or religious leaders.....

LouBelle, I know what you mean, although it's always a work in progress - getting rid of these feelings of guilt. The sad thing is that it's not good guilt - happy that you have embraced your sexuality!

9

Religious guilt puts brakes on sex lives

by Thetis in

article in our local paper stating that atheists have far better sex lives than religious people, who are plagued with guilt during intercourse and for weeks afterwards, researches have found.. a study found that non-believers were more willing to discuss sexual fantasies and more satisfied with their experiences..... then went on to say that strict religions such as mormons ranked highest on the scale of sexual guilt.

their average score was 8.19 out of 10. they were followed closely by jehovah's witnesses, pentecostals, seventh day adventists and baptists.

interesting that catholics scored 6.34.. this article brought back memories for me as a newly married jw.

Thetis

Article in our local paper stating that Atheists have far better sex lives than religious people, who are plagued with guilt during intercourse and for weeks afterwards, researches have found.

A study found that non-believers were more willing to discuss sexual fantasies and more satisfied with their experiences....

Then went on to say that strict religions such as Mormons ranked highest on the scale of sexual guilt. Their average score was 8.19 out of 10. They were followed closely by Jehovah's Witnesses, Pentecostals, Seventh Day Adventists and Baptists. Interesting that Catholics scored 6.34.

This article brought back memories for me as a newly married JW. I went to my GP (Jewish) and discussed among other things, that I felt so guilty about sex.... He misunderstood me and said ""just obey the 11th commandment"" - DONT GET CAUGHT....lol

I was riddled with guilt about fantasizing.....a woman needs a bit of help! I have come a long way since then.

127

Did I Have a Stroke?

by compound complex in

dear friends:.

is it just disorientation, getting old...?.

i awoke this morning and really did not know where i was.

Thetis

Hi Coco, as all the others have said - please don't play around. Recently my M.I.L. experienced almost the same symptoms as you described. She was talking to a friend and suddenly her speech became garbled. Although this episode was short (about 10 minutes) we took her to the emergency room that same night. She ended up staying in hospital for 2 weeks (as this was her second episode). Dr said this was her wake-up call. All is well now as she has been given meds to thin her blood. Please take care..