i guess i'm new here.
born in and an ms. things just hasn't been making sense the more i think about it.
i'm starting to get suspicious.
Suspicious - you will find a mix of things here, including hateful behavior at times and also name calling (sad, but true). BUT...You will also find loving, caring people who are very genuine. Those two groups don't tend to overlap. There is also another group, the "scholars" (I'm looking at you Leo!!).
As others have said, jwfacts.org is awesome. "Crisis of Conscience" (by Franz) is a must read.
If you are willing to look at the facts, you will find out the real truth.
Best to you,
Lav
*we are all from different cultural and educational backgrounds, we all experience different circumstances in life, and i don't mean to offend anyone on this forum in any way.*.
with that said here are my observations, and i want to know what you have observed.. in my experience i have noticed a trend: zealous witnessestend to exhibit the worst grammar when compared to non-witnesses!.
i want you to think back, or check it out for yourself if you haven't noticed it.. on social networks: compare comments on anything by jws (especially the uber-zealous ones) with those of your atheist or other religiously affiliated friends.
Cofty wrote: " There just seems to be no self-awareness when it comes to making really dumb assertions."
That is the truest thing I have read so far today!
i was surprised to get a message on facebook yesterday from a sister in a congregation i hadn't attended in 18 years.
she said she heard a rumor totallyadd and i no longer want to be jws.. funny thing is the last time i messaged her on facebook was january 2011. yes, i had let all correspondence drop with jws as we were well into our fade at the time.. but two and a half years and she wants to know if we want to be jws?
no how are you doing, miss you guys, or news of her family.
Wow. Maybe you could write her back with this (used from your post above):
Dear Sister ____,
Two and a half years after our last contact on here, I am shocked and horrifed that you message me to find out if we want to be JWs? No how are you doing, miss you guys, or news of your family. You just want to know whether or not to shun us (even though we have no contact anyway).
Your behavior has left me speechless.
Kind regards,
Sister __________
is it family, friends, idealism???
what????.
.
I was born in. No choice for me.
.....after 8 years of us being disfellowshipped.
the made contact through my aunt who is still 'in' - as in she has faded but is not disfellowshipped and will pop to a meeting now and again - she does this for my grans' sake.. the contact was from my aunt and uncle (he's an elder) these were the 2 witnesses used against me in my judicial case.
they contacted my aunt and said to forward the message onto us.
Even if you gave them the money they want from you, the only contact you would have with them would involve the financial transactions. They would continue to abuse you by shunning you otherwise.
It is wonderful to read about your strength in dealing with these people. They really have some nerve. You hear nothing from them for nearly a decade, and when you do hear from them it's because they want money.
Make no mistake about it. They want you to contribute so that they don't have to contribute as much money themseles. They want you to help make life easier on themselves. But they made their beds, didn't they? Now they have to lie in said beds. You can't cut off family as dead to you, only to go to them years later asking for money and citing said request as your scriptural duty. Idiots.
No matter what, don't give them a penny -- not one single penny, no matter how much they try to guilt you. And I don't doubt they would try to use emotional blackmail either (or whatever other amo they might be able to use against you to try to get your money -- "Gran loves you so very dearly. She talks about you every day and cries herself to sleep every night. You hurt her so badly when you left the Truth. She didn't leave you. You left her. It ruined her life." Blah blah blah.
Stay strong.
someone once quoted gandhi to me, but i don't actually think it was gandhi, saying that man can only be happy when what he says, what he believes and what he does are all in harmony.. how many of us led lives that meant all three of those were at loggerheads whilst jws?.
i came out as gay when still a witness, to my family first and then my friends.
they were all accepting of me, to varying degrees, but accepting.. i even asked the elders for help.
Onthewayout does it again - I agree 100% with his advice. A "soft telling" is brilliant. Say it so that it is clear what you are saying without actually saying it. And they can pretend whatever they need to pretend to maintain a relationship with you. Will you be able to bring your love to the Kingdom Hall as your husband for a relative's wedding? Will he be in family pictures? Probably not.
It's not fair. It sucks. It shouldn't have to be this way. You deserve better, but this is the hand you've been dealt given the JW family you come from. I'm sorry for that. The most important thing is be happy and enjoy your man to the fullest. You deserve comfort, support, love, mind blowing sex, and a happy long life with your guy. Life is far too short to waste with the silly rules and prejudices of the JWs.
There's nothing more important to me than family, and as a father my perspective on my own JW family has changed dramatically. I just can't imagine rejecting my children for silly JW rules. I find I react first as a parent when hearing stories of family rejection (I'm a parent first and foremost before anything else in life). JW shunning really pisses me off in this stage of my life now more than ever.
Hopefully your family will manage some natural affection over the GB rules.
for some reason my neighborhood gets worked over by the jws constantly.
they are here every week going up and down the streets.
it's a comfortable, safe neighborhood with nice houses.
Julia - I certainly understand being cautious. It's important, and better safe than sorry. I do want to be clear that I am always polite, but I still try to keep it real by putting out there what I want to say. They always want to run off. Next time, I'm going to pull Outlaw's quote out and say something like: "JWs are the only people I know of who go around knocking on doors only to say that you can't talk to them." :)
CB - I try to always be polite and friendly but I do say what I think. I know you can appreciate that. I don't mince words, but I still keep it polite and friendly. It's almost as if the response I seem to be getting is "He knows too much and he's on to us. Let's get out of here."
there are times when we manage to step outside of our own identities, perspectives and world view, and look at ourselves, our situations or certain lived experiences almost as an outsider.
sociologists call it seeing the strange in the familiar.
an anthropologist by the name of miner wrote a fascinating piece involving this very concept (see http://www.ohio.edu/people/thompsoc/body.html).
Old Hippie, Julie and Harry - I will be back on the board tonight. I want to respond to your posts. I have a presentation I'm giving today and I have to get going. I'll be baaaack
there are times when we manage to step outside of our own identities, perspectives and world view, and look at ourselves, our situations or certain lived experiences almost as an outsider.
sociologists call it seeing the strange in the familiar.
an anthropologist by the name of miner wrote a fascinating piece involving this very concept (see http://www.ohio.edu/people/thompsoc/body.html).
Tal - all of those examples are great. They can all fit. Especially when you are looking in almost as an observer and just seeing strange. And we now all know those things are all truly weird. :)
there are times when we manage to step outside of our own identities, perspectives and world view, and look at ourselves, our situations or certain lived experiences almost as an outsider.
sociologists call it seeing the strange in the familiar.
an anthropologist by the name of miner wrote a fascinating piece involving this very concept (see http://www.ohio.edu/people/thompsoc/body.html).
Just Lois - the way you write about your thoughts on you and your overall place in the world puts it all into perspective. Yes, individually we are but one of billions of humans. It's very humbling when we think of things that way, yet the JWs will gladly knock on people's doors to tell them they alone have the truth and how the householder thinks and what she believes is wrong. Amazing. And a real eye opener when one first gets an experience where you can see yourself almost from the outside.
