laverite

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Posts by laverite

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  26

  Will Disassociating myself be the same as playing by their Rules?

  by onemore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what is your opinion?

  .

  bizarro minimus..... .

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  laverite

  OMG Billy that is FUNNY!
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  98

  My sucky situation

  by brotherdan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi guys,.

  sadly some of them had been in bethel for 5 - 10 years and were still cleaning toilets.. after about 2 years of it i couldn't do it anymore.

  i always knew something wasn't quite right with this organization.

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  laverite

  Hi BrotherDan,

  Welcome! I am so sorry to hear about your situation. A lot of people have made various suggestions, and I'd like to give you something to think about.

  Even though you may not want to think about divorce please think about doing this:

  You should find out who the very best divorce attorneys are in your area. I mean the best of the best. Make an appointment with every single top attorney. Then repeat this with the really good ones and then the ones with reputations as "good enough." Get your free consultations in with all of them, even if you do not ultimately go with any of them as divorce attorneys. Tell them all the details of your situation, get them to explain their fees, etc. After interviewing them you'll know who you want to work with should it come to this. Also, this will tie them all up and they won't be able to work for your wife. Even if you don't go with them, because you've consulted with them on the case, they can't work for her. If she wants to hire a good divorce attorney, she's screwed. You'll ultimately have a great attorney, she'll have very limited (and not so good) choices. Then fight like hell for primary custody of your kids if she files for divorce.

  Do this even if you just think divorce is a possibility and you are still hoping to stay married. Be prepared and be ready just in case she wants to file. Limit her choices and fight like hell.
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  5

  The Apostatization of JWN

  by laverite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  has anyone written a history or provided a good overview on how jwn developed over the years, the apostatization/apostatisation of the website and simon?

  it was interesting to see the plan thread that simon wrote 10 years ago.

  i've caught some glimpses here and there, but i'd love to get my hands (eyes) on a history of this site.

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  laverite

  Aude-

  Thank you so much. I've readthe entire thing now and it was well worth the read! What an interesting story Simon has!

  Something he wrote that really struck a chord with me:

  "Everytime people get together, everytime someone shares their life story, everytime someon feels safe to ask a question or simply to read what other people have written - it's a little chip appearing in the WTS armour, a little mortar in their walls crumbling. Long may it continue."

  I have been thinking exactly that. As we share our stories and our life experiences, we tell the world what it's really like to be a JW, to grow up a JW and the hurt and pain the WTBTS can cause.
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  5

  The Apostatization of JWN

  by laverite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  has anyone written a history or provided a good overview on how jwn developed over the years, the apostatization/apostatisation of the website and simon?

  it was interesting to see the plan thread that simon wrote 10 years ago.

  i've caught some glimpses here and there, but i'd love to get my hands (eyes) on a history of this site.

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  laverite

  Has anyone written a history or provided a good overview on how JWN developed over the years, the apostatization/apostatisation of the website and Simon? It was interesting to see the Plan thread that Simon wrote 10 years ago. I've caught some glimpses here and there, but I'd love to get my hands (eyes) on a history of this site. Any threads on this that anyone knows?

  Merci bcp,

  ~La Vérité
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  25

  Feeling really sad

  by NiceDream in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  my husband and i have been married for almost 10 years.

  we were married really young, and tried to make the best of it.

  recently, i began listening to my lingering doubts and realized i've been so unhappy because i was living a lie.

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  laverite

  NiceDream -

  Hugs to you and your family! Marrying at 19 is so incredibly young. I have only recently started posting on this site, but I have found many wonderful people here who bring comfort and provide support. I am completely confident that there will be many people here who provide you with much needed support. You aren't alone. There are others who share your experience, too. I'm not in a relationship and I'm gay. So I don't have any special words of wisdom for you based on any experiences I've had that might be helpful.

  I just wanted to say welcome and to send a hug your way.

  LV
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  20

  Loneliness and the day I graduated from High School

  by laverite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  many of us have suffered in so many ways as a result of the wtbts.

  i know intense pain, fear and loneliness as a direct result of the wtbts.

  i have overcome most of it in life and am happy now.

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  laverite

  Mrs Jones - it's totally absolutely crazy. It's completely incomprehensible to me, too! Ugh...
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  20

  Loneliness and the day I graduated from High School

  by laverite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  many of us have suffered in so many ways as a result of the wtbts.

  i know intense pain, fear and loneliness as a direct result of the wtbts.

  i have overcome most of it in life and am happy now.

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  laverite

  Mad Sweeney, Wasblind, Scarred for Life, Mr. Flipper, Loosie, Isaacaustin – thank you all for your kind words and understanding. This is one of the only places where people understand what we have been through growing up in the bOrg.

  Scarred for Life – I, too, recently lost my mother. She died right before I started posting on this site. I don’t want to talk about that or post about – maybe someday. But that has really brought up a lot of emotion. Enough said on that for now anyway. For the past two decades, I have gone on with my life, and have done a great job of adjusting to the real world. Even though I’ve adjusted and am a happy person, I still feel like an outsider when it comes to all kinds of situations, including holidays.

  I actually told a couple of friends I’ve known for about a year now (a married couple) just the other day that I grew up in a cult. I was trying to explain why and how I never did fireworks and didn’t know anything about them. We did fireworks together on July 3 rd . They were so kind!

  And there’s always the thing about being without a family. It’s frightening to be out on your own without a family at 18. No backup whatsoever. No place to go. Totally alone. Scary! Of course, I’ve created my own family now through adoption. But my background influenced very much my decision to adopt through the foster care system.

  I couldn’t stand the idea of children being without a family so I created mine by adopting children that needed a forever family. I couldn’t have imagined any other way of creating my family. I never take my children for granted, and love them more than anything in the world. I can’t imagine rejecting them, ever.
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  175

  Were you Stalked or Chased After Once you Exited the JW's by Elders ?

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i tried to fade off the map by moving 30 miles initially in 2004 after i exited in late 2003 .

  the first several years they didn't bother me.

  i ran into a elder from my former congregation in late 2005 in an antique store - he tried telling me i was wrong for stopping attending meetings.

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  laverite

  Flipper - you are such an amazing person. So kind and encouraging. Even though your responses are to others, I often feel so encouraged just after reading them. Your posts always get to me somehow...They encourage me, entertain me, amaze me...etc. I am thankful for you being here. I read everything you post and enjoy each of your contributions!
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  20

  Loneliness and the day I graduated from High School

  by laverite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  many of us have suffered in so many ways as a result of the wtbts.

  i know intense pain, fear and loneliness as a direct result of the wtbts.

  i have overcome most of it in life and am happy now.

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  laverite

  Many of us have suffered in so many ways as a result of the WTBTS. I know intense pain, fear and loneliness as a direct result of the WTBTS. I have overcome most of it in life and am happy now. But I do get flashbacks. Recently, because of the graduation season, I have been thinking back on my own high school graduation.

  When I graduated from high school (22 years ago), at the age of 18, I walked to my graduation ceremony alone. Keep in mind that I was not DFd or DAd at that time (I've since DAd myself on my own terms to live my life free). But no one went to my high school graduation. Not one family member. No parents. No grandparents. No friends. I was literally all alone. I walked a couple of miles to the graduation, and walked home alone. Because I had turned 18 and was kicked out of the house during my senior year (for being accepted into and planning to attend university), home wasn't even home. Talk about feeling totally alone in the world.

  This experience was a real turning point, and, thankfully, within three months I was far away at a university (which I had to do all alone as well). Thank goodness for that escape.

  Being a parent now for the past few years, it's brought a lot of stuff from my upbringing back. That's why I think I've started posting and visiting on this site.

  I wonder what it would have been like to grow up being loved unconditionally and without the abuse of the Watchtower. Going to my high school graduation alone and without family was the first real sense I had of what it's like to be totally alone in the world without family. During the past 20-some years, I have lived what it's like to not have that "forever family" that so many take for granted -- people who are there for you, no matter what. A strong family support system is so important in so many ways, not only as an emotional safety net but a physical one as well.

  As an adult, I've been able to build my own forever family and I never take my beautiful children for granted. I love them no matter what. But I've had to do it without the support or backup of family.

  Looking back, that high school graduation experience foreshadowed the next two plus decades and presumably the rest of my life.
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  14

  What Unusual Watchtower Suggestions Do You Recall?

  by laverite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  today, i was on yahoo and clicked on link for "unusual ways" to stay cool this summer.

  among the suggestions are putting your sheets in the freezer for one to two hours before bedtime and using an organic cotton pillow (is an organic cotton pillow cooler than 100% cotton regular pillow?

  ): http://shine.yahoo.com/event/green/five-unusual-ways-to-stay-cool-1885878/.

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  laverite

  Palmtree67 - I have seen the same thing and have two family members doing exactly that with low income housing.