Posts by exwhyzee

18

Out and Gay but fed up of 'fading' - advice please.

by frogonmytoe in

jw
friends

someone once quoted gandhi to me, but i don't actually think it was gandhi, saying that man can only be happy when what he says, what he believes and what he does are all in harmony.. how many of us led lives that meant all three of those were at loggerheads whilst jws?.

i came out as gay when still a witness, to my family first and then my friends.

they were all accepting of me, to varying degrees, but accepting.. i even asked the elders for help.

exwhyzee

I imagine by not telling your family about your current arrangement, even though things have gone well for you, you might have a sort of incomplete feeling about your life. It would be sort of like going on a great vacation and then not being able to tell anyone about it or show them the photos. Not only that, you'd always have the feeling that any day someone from your family might arrive up at the doorstep or that somehow the whole matter had been discovered and you'd then be forced to deal with the topic on their time table.

I like the idea of breaking it to them gently over a period of time. Little indications that you've met someone without rubbing their noses in it. They must realize on some level that you have not been living like a Monk. Either way, all of us who have left the organization have had to make a similar choice. Do we just play along with the game and smolder inside or do we get it over with and suffer the consequences what ever they may be. This is the hard reality for those of us who one way or another, wound up being part of a religious cult.

75

JW family made contact....

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

.....after 8 years of us being disfellowshipped.

the made contact through my aunt who is still 'in' - as in she has faded but is not disfellowshipped and will pop to a meeting now and again - she does this for my grans' sake.. the contact was from my aunt and uncle (he's an elder) these were the 2 witnesses used against me in my judicial case.

they contacted my aunt and said to forward the message onto us.

exwhyzee

My wife has two of 6 siblings who left the Org. as soon as they turned 18 and have been shunned for the last 30 years.(one was baptized at 16 the other unbaptized) Neither was ever again invited to family gatherings,baby showers, barbeques, weddings, graduations etc. Their children were not included in anything even though they all live a short 10 drive away. When full time Pioneer Grandma was having financial difficulties because her social security just wansn't enough, guess who the other family members called? Yep...the shunned siblings were asked to contribute a monthly sum along with the other siblings....and they did it.

22

Seeing the Strange in the JW Familiar

by laverite in

there are times when we manage to step outside of our own identities, perspectives and world view, and look at ourselves, our situations or certain lived experiences almost as an outsider.

sociologists call it seeing the strange in the familiar.

an anthropologist by the name of miner wrote a fascinating piece involving this very concept (see http://www.ohio.edu/people/thompsoc/body.html).

exwhyzee

When you pull your head out and have a look around, we may have been different than the WT 's version of what a "worldly" person is but we were really no different than any other religious group...but we were taught to feel superior anyway.

7

Am I the ONLY one who goes through this??!!

by JWOP in

jw
friends

okay, i gotta rant.. .

we have a reel mower.

and a weed whacker for times when it's rained too long and the grass grows beyond reel mower's capacity.

exwhyzee

I like doing yard work....it's very satisfiying to see everything all trimmed and tidy. Here in puddletown USA. if you wait for the rain to stop, this time of year, you'll never get anything done. I mow my lawn with a power mower rain or shine. I adjust the wheels up 4 X 4 style and go for it. Even if you only take the top 1/4 inch off, it looks neat. You can lower the wheels a little and hit it a second time if you like the grass shorter.

Maybe your gang figures since you choose to use a reel mower because you like the work out it gives you, but you can't use it when it's raining, you shouldn't expect them to weed whack the entire yard when it's wet. (seems like it would end up looking kinda ragged that way)

26

New Song - "Blinded By New Light"

by RayPublisher in

the generation wasnt right (repeat).

exwhyzee

No longer blinded by New LIght, learned the truth about the truth found out all that wasn't right. No I'm not Blinded By New Light, wasn't kicked out or shunned out, simply faaded out of sight, I don't claim to have life's answers, yet I'm takin' my chances, gonna'' trust God to be my main guide. And when his number one Son, finally does to us come, I' m hopin' I'll be there at his side. They misled me and they told me, if I questioned what they showed me, I'd be making that old Devil smile. But I came to the conclusion, it was men's word I was choosin', so their doctrines I finally put up on trial. Now I'm not Blinded by New Light, not teachin' other people bout' things that just aint' right. Yeah, I'm not blinded by New Light, not alone in my leavin' cause' right with me came my wife. We were in it since childhood, taught that to question was no good, but somehow we knew down inside. If they knew what they were doin' all the info they were spewin', would have been proven right the first time. No it hasn't been easy, and alone we knew that we'd be, not a friend in the world do we have. Though we're still the same people and our values all are equal, there's no love for us to be had. For they are blinded by New Light, afraid to look around them just in case they'll see the light. Yes they're still blinded by the light, held captive by the concept it's only they who have it right. You can talk to your family, and you know well that they see the things you have shown them are true. But if they are not ready, their foundations unsteady, it's easy for them to blame you. The whole things is set up, to make those who dare speak up, look like they are just Satan's spies. They are frightened of dyin' so to themselves they'll keep on lyin' convinced they have their eyes on the prize. Tho they are blinded by New Light, you know that they are victims so you underatand their plight. Yes they are blinded by New Light but it doesn't really matter, cause ond day they'll get it right.

38

The truth just ain't the same any more.

by Julia Orwell in

jw
friends

this has been the sentiment of a few i know who have been full jws for decades.

they say the love is not there like it used to be, and it's become less personal.. anyone heard similar comments from oldies?.

we know the 'truth' ain't the truth in the first place, but i have a feeling there may be a lot of older ones hanging on just because it's all they've ever known, and it the alternative, that there is no paradise around the corner like they've always been taught us unthinkable..

exwhyzee

Anyone who remembers the conventions where they served meals and where there was an actual orchestra and bold talks about the nearness of the end, realizes that something died when they started homogenizing and streamlining everything. Recorded music, cookie cutter Kingdom Halls, formulaic literature, canned talks and ambigious talk about the "Last Days" and when it may or may not come, has made it all very nice but not very good. It seems like most JW's glom onto all the man made rules but don't really know the doctrine behind their own beliefs.

22

Interesting conversation

by Freeof1914 in

as some of you know several weeks ago i was disfellowshipped for several reasons, but primarily my thoughts on the organization.

last night i had a very interesting conversations with my wife after she came back from the meeting and several things jumped out at me that made see even more clearly how sick this religion is.

first of all, several months ago we attended a wedding of a friend.

exwhyzee

You know what? You disfellowshipped people think that anyone still cares about you? You are old news the week after you are announced no one even cares or thinks about you it's like whatever!

I might have said;

" I realized a long time ago that no one really cared about me not in any real or lasting sense. The "Brotherly Love" they talk so much about is totally conditional. They go from door to door looking for new recruits mostly motivated out of wanting to save their own hydes from destruction by God at Armageddon rather than out of any true concern or love for thier fellow man. This is why it is so easy for them to cast people like me aside and why, as you say, we become "old news" a week later.

I also would have asked her if she was among those who no longer cared about me ?

25

Men...what do you look for in a woman?

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

so we had the woman version.

let it rip guys - what type of woman makes you just want to get her know her better - the one that makes you take that risk and walk on over to start a conversation?.

exwhyzee

She hasta' like animals and she hasta' be super nice to my lovely wife.

77

What does your screen name/avatar mean and what does it stand for

by BU2B in

jw
friends

and why did you choose it?

if you have a avatar, what is it and why did you pick it?.

ok ill start.

exwhyzee

You guys all have such thoughtful and symbolic reasons for choosing your screen names.

XYZ stands for Xamine Your Zipper. You see....after learning the "Truth About The Truth" I felt very foolish for having been sooo clueless for sooo long...sorta' like the guy who gives a one hour Sunday Talk only to realize later that his Fly had been open the whole time. (sniff...poor me )

Pffft...No not really...I only chose the name because I had recently seen a Disneyland license plate holder on a car that spelled the name Mickey Mouse, phonetically like this. Em Eye Cee Kay Ee Why Em Oh You Es Ee

I chose ExWhyZee, because Its easy as 1 2 3 , as simple as do re mi, A B C 1 2 3
baby you and me

85

Mormons getting hollowed out: The tipping point has occurred.

by Qcmbr in

ever since mitt romney turned the spotlight on the lds church a growing tsunami of disaffection has been accelerated and brought to a head.. the lds core faithful members are leaving in increasing numbers such that growth has not simply stagnated in the west but it has actively reversed.

to their credit the church is responding aggressively but not only is it too late, it is an impossible task.

you can only paint sh*t so many ways.

exwhyzee

Encouraging their members go to College was the Mormons first mistake. JW's knew better than to let the the flock get smart enough to see beyond their fear tactics and flimsy doctrines that over and over again fell flat with time.