Posts by exwhyzee

151

If you don't believe in God where do you get the strength to cope?

by Miss.Fit in

jw
friends

i know there are some here that are going through some tough times.

some of you do not believe in god.

some are not sure.. i was told recently by a friend to pray to god for help and he would comfort me.. my first impulse is to pray.

exwhyzee

Miss.Fit: I never realised how easily we wrote people off as worthy to die. We dont stop and think about what we were really saying. That they deserve to die.

Yes... it's easy to be harsh when you've been led into believing you have all the answers and have it made. It sounds as if your Mom believes some of her own kids won't make it into the "New System" but will instead be sentenced to eternal destruction along with the likes of Adolf Hitler, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson and others simply for not being Baptised JW's. and it all makes sense to her somehow.

Im curious as to how they build their strength and what gives them purpose. Do we still have spirituality without god?

I used to pray like we were told to do and throw my burdens on Jehovah and would look for ways to beleive he might be helping me. Only to realize when I looked around at some of the terrible problems even some of his own people were facing, that if he exists, he isn't helping us at this time. Why would he help me with my comparatively small problems yet let 2 devoted Ministerial Servants in our Congretation one after the other, loose their jobs, homes and a short time later, each die of heart ailments leaving 9 children and two wives thrown into poverty and despair? I realized that if God isn't helping us, then I had gotten myself through life thus far by my own strength, know how and sheer determination. My outlook and expectation level changed once I came to grips with the fact that I was on my own and needed to stop with all the magicial thinking. I no longer expected any help from anyone and no longer felt the frustration of not getting any real help other than what I could come up with myself. This has been a very freeing thing. When you get rid of all the superstitious thinking (what if Jehovah is displeased with me....maybe if I do more, he will help me) you can spend your energy on taking steps to resolve your problems and help others with theirs. You always feel better when you are taking action. It's not the Watchtower's idea of being a spiritual person but I'll tell you, it has made a world of difference for me. A week after I decided to stop going to meetings aka. (the weekly funeral/sales meeting/boasting session) the awful anxiety problems I had for almost a decade, vanished....disappeared and haven't returned in the last 4 years. This is how I know I'm on the right course.

63

"Giving Makes You Happy" jw.org video for kids

by Scully in

giving makes you happy.

.

exwhyzee

The video is a far cry from the scary pictures they used to have in the literature that we used to see when we were kids. Even so, it seems like the WTBTS is damned if they do, dammed if they don't. No matter what they do, I am suspect of them now. For me, I don't like the idea that an organization with an agenda, is priming children with these seemingly innocent songs and stories to grow up to become their future customers. They are training them early to be lulled into thinking whatever the organization tells them, is good and true. Once they've spent years beleiving this, their lives will be so enmeshed in the organization, there will be devestating concequences should they want to look outside the postage stamp sized world they've been raised in. Somehow in Bible times, children were raised to know God's word without extra curricular literature, coloring books, videos and other products.

JW parents will love these videos because all they have to do is plunk their kid down in front of a TV and let the video program them to be obedient and compliant to whomever is in charge. Kids like this are so much easier to deal with than children who feel free to express their own thoughts or who are able to defy authority when they realize something is wrong. It's Watchtower sanctioned, so it's guilt free electronic baby sitting.

151

If you don't believe in God where do you get the strength to cope?

by Miss.Fit in

jw
friends

i know there are some here that are going through some tough times.

some of you do not believe in god.

some are not sure.. i was told recently by a friend to pray to god for help and he would comfort me.. my first impulse is to pray.

exwhyzee

Hi Miss.fit,

Glad you are reaching out. Good advice so far about getting checked out by a Dr. straight away. Depression is insidious, do not trust your thoughts when you are in a low mood. You are hugely mistaken to think your daughter can do without you. That's the depression talking and nothing else. Ending your life would ruin hers. She'd have to carry this with her forever and explain it to her children one day and to everyone new she gets to know. When people kill themselves, they not only miss out on the rest of their lives but they take a whole lot of others with them. Despite what your brain is telling you, our daughter (for one) needs you and loves you. She will benefit from seeing you, despite your condition, soldiering on as you have been and she is absolutely right, looking at a puppy website or anything that is a comfort to you or makes you smile, will be helpful. Your thoughts produce emotions and chemical reactions in the brain. Anything you can do to help produce the good ones will bring you closer to being well. Exercise of any type or any duration is beneficial (although it's probably the last thing you want to do when you're depressed) Even a short walk around the block can short circuit your negative feelings rather than let them snowball into a full on slump. Stay away from the News, reading the Newspaper or any intake of information that is not positive or upbuilding(garbage in garbage out). Doing so would be much like someone with a fractured foot, going on a long walk carrying a suitcase and a watermelon. Yes, they might be able to pull it off, but they would suffer a great setback towards their ultimate healing. A person with a fractured foot may be able to walk, but they shouldn't be carrying any unnecessary burdens while they are healing.

Studies have shown that there is a positive response in the brains of those while they pray. Certain mood centers are lit up while praying much as they are while meditating. If you don't know how to meditate, I'd say go ahead and pray. Instead of complaining to (God, the universe or whoever) asking for help the whole time, it might be helpful to say what you are grateful for (your daughter, the warm shower you had today, the fact that you have a job, your husband etc.) Also rather than entertaining your negative thoughts as they occur to you, learn to catch yourself doing this. Dismiss unhelpful thoughts, shoo them away like flies at a picnic. Set aside a certain time once a day to write your thoughts down on paper, so you can get them out of your head. This may help you avoid ruminating on those things that produce unwanted brain chemicals.

If you can remember that all of our feelings are caused by thoughts and that you have absolute control over what you think about, you will realize that your happiness is an inside job. Also, your life is not an emergency but the pain of depression and anxiety causes one to feel as if it is and that it will take desperate measures to free ones self of it's pain...NOW. This is where the thought of dying comes in and starts to look like a good option. To have been carrying this around for as long as you have, you are stronger than you probably realize. A lot of people would have crumpled under the weight of it long ago. You no doubt have a coping/survival routine for yourself already but maybe your could add the following two (feel good) things to it.

Print this out and carry it with you.

http://www.warmfuzzy.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Just-for-Today.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HttF5HVYtlQ

12

Massive rise in the Columbia River...

by Glander in

we live three miles above the bonneville dam.

they have shut down many gates in order to provide more water for the salmon ladders.

this raises our banks and results in about a 4 foot drop in river levels below the dam.

exwhyzee

Roll on Columbia roll on,

Your power is turning our darkness to dawn,

Roll on Columbia roll on.

66

If you were to protest an Assembly what would you put on your placard ?

by Finkelstein in

since this topic of protesting assemblies recently came up, i was wondering .

what would be the some of the most proficient and perhaps strongest message.

to place on a placard to show as the people arrived at the venue.

exwhyzee

ARE YOU OF "THE GENERATION " OR WILL THAT BE EXTENDED AGAIN WHEN YOU'RE OLD ?

BLOOD FRACTIONS COME FROM DONATED BLOOD, EXPLAIN HOW THAT WORKS, TO THOSE WHO HAVE DIED ABSTAINING!

THE BIBLE HASN'T CHANGED....WHAT'S WITH ALL THE "NEW LIGHT" ?

WHY HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF CANDACE CONTI ?

DID ANYTHING YOU HEARD HERE 10 *20 * OR 30 YEARS AGO, ACTUALLY HAPPEN ?

7

Different degrees of shunning.

by jam in

the act of shunning period is a terrible thing, but i have notice over.

the years some go to the extreme in shunning.

shunned.

exwhyzee

I've said it before. People like this are generally one close look in the mirror from completely "falling out of the truth" themselves and/or, for Sisters especially, it's the only little bit of power the organization allows them. They have the Society sanctioned "go-ahead" to be judgemental. They are not shunning you because they are sticking up for Jehovah, they are shunning you because it makes them feel extra virtuous.

It sort of reminds me of how sometimes formerly overweight people are extra contemptuous of those who are currently battling their weight. It's because (IMHO) they know they are one slice of pound cake away from a food binge, themselves. They are lookin' in a mirror and they don't like what they see.

66

If you were to protest an Assembly what would you put on your placard ?

by Finkelstein in

since this topic of protesting assemblies recently came up, i was wondering .

what would be the some of the most proficient and perhaps strongest message.

to place on a placard to show as the people arrived at the venue.

exwhyzee

I would enlarge the cover of this Watchtower, put it on a placard with a long pole and let their own picture say a thousand words.

14

In your own words,,,,,,

by label licker in

jw
friends

please tell my thirty-six year old niece what you would tell all your loved ones if they were to go back to the cult because they wanted to see their loved ones again.. she was df'd at sixteen for being a teenager with an anxiety disorder, her dad had walked out on her and her family(2 other sisters) when they were young and never supported them or the mother.

all of them had to live with their grandmother.

after the last child left home, their father has their mother move back in with him.

exwhyzee

Just based on the information you have given, it sounds like April isn't going back to the Witnesses because she thinks it's "the truth" but because she only wants to be with her family. (completely understandable) She's remembering them and her life as a Witness from memories that are 20 years old and is likely seeing things through rose colored galsses, which tends to happen with the passage of time. Who knows, maybe after 20 years, her parents have improved, they are the only ones she has and sometimes you have to take what you can get. If she is able to go back and have her sisters in her life again, yet keep her perspective about this religion and glean what she can from it, maybe it will help her through this difficult time. I know people who are on what I call the "JW My Way" plan. They decide what they do and don't beleive of the JW doctrine. They decide how much or how little they participate. They choose to be in it because it provides a means for them to feel a part of a group of for some other personal reason but not because they think JW's are the absolute universal truth out there. They are not sentimental about it, it simply serves a need they have. Their relationship is with God, and are only JW's because they happened to be the religion they were raised in or happened to become involved with at some point.

After one's life is tangled up in this religion, they sort of have to navigate their way to some sort of normal, any way they can. If April can't see her family any other way, maybe she can fight fire with fire until she makes what she deserves to have happen, come to pass.

One thing is for sure, she is not alone. It's unbeleivable how many lives and whole family lineages have been disrupted or permanently altered by this organization. I've been out for about 4 years, I swear not a month goes by where I don't hear about another JW acquaintance who is leaving, has left or is being shunned. I just happened again today. I don't know how they can survive as an organization if this is happening everywhere.

29

If you're happy and THEY know it all HELL breaks loose!!!!!

by SophieG in

jw
friends

hi guys...is it me...i am beginning to wonder: is a happy ex-jw a target?

i have had a few run ins this week on fb with random jws trying to check me for things that have absolutely nothing to do with the org.

(please dont ask me why they have not un-friended me!

exwhyzee

People like that are generally one reality check away from completly "falling out of the truth" and the lecture they give you is actually intended to reassure themselves. They think they are showing concern for your spiritual welfare but the reality is they are afraid for their own. They are afraid of looking too deep into anything lest they see what they already know, is in fact true. Bottom line, they don't trust that "Jehovahs Holy Spirit" is strong enough to protect them from Satan's supposed influence.

50

Satan must have directed me here

by Miss.Fit in

i was telling my jw friend about the condi law suit.

the first thing she asked was how did i even hear about it because it was news to her .

( i was 't expecting that reaction.

exwhyzee

Hi Miss.Fit,

No, I wasn't suggesting that you ask your friend these things. Yes....you're right, she'd head for the hills for sure. When I hear the JW reasonings that are so full of holes, it really irks . She can tell you, without any proof, that you are under Satan's influence. (what an insult) Yet if you point out something in the public news media that sheds JW's in a unfaborable lignt, you become the "Mrs O'leary's cow", of the situation.

I think the only way around this kind of thing is to realize what you are up against and triangulate and tip toe your way through every conversation without bringing up anything controversial. I've found that sometimes the less you say, the better. No appologies, no excuses, no explainations. Just listen to what she is saying and try to understand that she, in her own way, is trying to help you. The whole thing is set up so that unless you recite the party line, you are suspect.

Now that the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, I think I'd just say "Wow...I hope I'm not being guided by Satan but I suppose he could be causing me to see more in these things than others do, but I can't imagine he is altering the news media to make a point with me. No, it's always been like that for me. Anytime I hear Jehovah's Witnesses mentioned anywhere, for whatever reason, it sort of jumps out at me and catches my attention. I mean, everyone knows about Kim Kardashian's latest daily media exploits two minutes after they happen. This was such a big case and such a large settlement and I was surprised I hadn't heard anyone I know talking about it.