He is going to have to stop that fishing for fun if he becomes a JW.
Actually, he'll WILL still be able to fish on the weekends...except he'll be "a fisher of men"!!!
respectful_observer
JoinedPosts by respectful_observer
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B.O.E. 13/01/14
by LucidChimp in"in minnesota, a man said to his visitors: "i saw you coming, so i went to get this book.
" he held up a bible teach book and said that when he was in prison, he stole the book.
when asked if he had read it, he replied that he was going to read it on the weekend while he was fishing.
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respectful_observer
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respectful_observer
"Can't even afford your own cell phone? Have we got a religion for you!"
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Btw, that tract reminded me of a trailer I saw for this upcoming series at the theater the other day:
http://abc.go.com/shows/resurrection
The people of Arcadia, Missouri are forever changed when their deceased loved ones suddenly start to return...
JW's will LOVE it at first...until they realize that much of the plot of the show focuses on what a hard time people have emotionally once they get past the initial euphoria of welcoming back a long-dead loved one.
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My take on the meeting yesterday.
by integ insome of you are aware of where i'm at with this whole thing.
i still occasionally go to meetings for family reasons but my attendance has been lack luster at best.
i'd say i go about once a month if that.. i empathize with those who are wary of taking the ultimate stand for fear of losing their family.
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respectful_observer
YOU PEOPLE JUST DISCRIBED EVERY RELIGION KNOWN TO MAN. What makes all religion any better?
Bingo. That's probably why many former JWs in this forum indentify more with agnostacisim or athiesm now more than with any one particular religion.
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JW university?
by wearewatchingyouman inwhy don't the witnesses have an accredited university?
almost all other xtian denominations do.
why not dubs?
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respectful_observer
I posted this on a thread about a year ago...
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Forgetting the fact that the WTS would never put several thousand hormone infused 18-21 y.o. together in a dorm environment (DF-ings every week!), can you even imagine what a “Watchtower College” would be like? I imagine something along these lines….
Co-ed dorms? Not a chance.
Dorm rooms? No locks. And the RA (aka “The Inspector”) has free reign to root through your stuff.
Sports teams? No way. This avoids “bad association” with the other team on the field/court and avoids a competitive spirit.
Student Government? Don’t even ask the question.
Days off for holidays? Of course…the Memorial (and “Spring Break” would become “Spring ‘Pioneer during Memorial season’ Break”). No other holidays.
Alcohol on campus? Verboten!
Philosophy classes? Nope.
World Religions classes? Yep. And the textbook will be “Mankind’s Search for God”
Biology classes? Sort of. The reading materials would the Creator book and every Awake! article written on ants, whales, polar bears, etc….EVOLUTION IS A THEORY.
Music classes? Sure, but no rap or hard rock, no music that has religious roots, no music that is too sexual or mentions violence (good thing the “bees molested” line is gone out of the songbook!)
Constitutional Law? Definitely. Learn all about Minersville v. Gobitis, WT v. Village of Stratton, and every other JW US Supreme Court case. (Jimmy Swaggart Ministries v. Board of Equalization of CA will NOT be studied.) Level II classes learn how to fight blood transfusions in court.
GPA? Your service time would actually be factored into the equation. If it remains too low, you flunk out of school.
Commencement Speaker? A different member of the GB each year.
That’s off the top of my head. I’m sure you all have many more ideas…
R_O
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Purged songs of the Watchtower
by LogCon inmy memory of singing the kingdom songs go back to when i was a child in the 1950's.
they still hold a place in my memory and my heart.
how can something that is so much a part of your childhood not stay embedded in your heart.?.
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respectful_observer
I found it surprising that they kept "Make the Truth Your Own" and "Make Sure of the More Important Things" in the newest songbook, given that the music for both was composed by Frank Kavelin (DNCall), someone who has since been disfellowshipped for apostacy:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/180013/1/DNCall-Unmasked-Part-3-of-5#.UuaBOvQo6IU
Turns out Frank did "make the truth [his] own"...just not in the way the Watchtower expected!
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Most Ridiculous Thing You've Ever Been Counseled On
by MrFreeze ini'm sure topics like this have already come up but they tend to get hilarious with the absolute absurdity that goes on in the kh.
i was once counseled for not shaving after two days.
i was also counseled by a sister for eating lucky charms cereal.
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respectful_observer
I was pulled aside by 2 elders after the meeting one day and was told that someone in the hall reported to them that they'd seen me and the person I was dating at the time...
...walking down the street together without a chaperone!!!
I asked "why on earth do we needed a chaperone in public"?
"Otherwise the friends might get stumbled and think you weren't using chaperones at all."
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Another young ex-JW musical duo
by kneehighmiah inthis is a brother-sister duo from austrailia.
they are 22 and 23 years old.
they even made a song about leaving the religion.
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respectful_observer
I laughed out loud when I saw "Cult" right next to "Diploma" on that wall (1:30). If there was any doubt, I also saw a flash of "No Blood" (2:06).
(Btw, the content from The Australian is behind the login as premium content, so if someone has the ability to copy/paste, we can all read the article.)
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WT Mantras / Thought Stoppers
by Ding ini've been thinking about how the gb controls jws through the use of short phrases or scripture quotes (often partial quotes ripped out of context).. think of the sound-bite responses you know jws are going to give you in response to points you try to make to them.. ones that come to my mind immediately are:.
-- "the light gets brighter and brighter.".
-- "who, then, is the faithful and discreet slave?".
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respectful_observer
When a J-dub dies in some horrible manner: "Time and unforeseen occurrance..."
When a J-dub survives some dangerous circumstance in some unexpected manner: "Jehovah/the angels truly watch over and protect His people!"
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Noah - the Movie
by Simon Morley inwent to the movie theatre over the weekend to take in jack ryan (not bad) and saw the trailer for "noah" (russell crowe and a solid cast) whats the bet the dubs will be given a rule encouraged to examine their own consciences when attending this movie.
from what i hear its fairly true to the genesis account, but hey its hollywood with cgi at their disposal.. .
my guess is they will not be allowed to go until the gb 2.0 attend a screening at loews cineplex, grab some popcorn and pop and give it their blessing..
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respectful_observer
"I`m pleased to see that Noah was an Australian , you pack of heathens . We are saved, your doomed .
smiddy"
so here is the answer, he brought the koala bears personally to Australia...
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And kangaroos!!
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Why would Adam or Eve choose the tree of knowledge instead of the tree of life.
by smiddy inplease help me out here .. in genesis 2:16 it says " and jehovah god also laid this command upon the man: from every tree of the garden you may eat to satisfaction.
17 but as for the tree of the knowledge of good and bad you must not eat from it , for in the day you eat from it ,you will positively die.. ok we get that , but what about this ?.
wouldnt it make more sense to forbid the eating of the tree of life first ?
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respectful_observer
The Tree of Life recently came up in conversation with some JWs recently. A pioneer posed the question whether the Tree of Life was a literal tree; another JW (Elder) very quickly stated that the WT has always taken the stance that it was not a literal tree. The pioneer then opened her Bible and read Genesis 3:22-24:
22 Jehovah God then said: "Here the man has become like one of us in knowing good and bad. Now in order that he may not put this hand out and take fruit also from the tree of life and eat and live forever, --" 23 With that Jehovah God expelled him from the garden of E'den to cultivate the ground from which he had been taken. 24 So he drove the man out, and he posted at the east of the garden of E'den the cherubs and flaming blade of a sword that was turning continuously to guard the way to the tree of life.
She said (paraphrased) "to me those verses seem to say that the tree of life was a real thing, maybe even it was something that Adam and Eve ate from to ensure their enternal life. Verse 22 quotes Jehovah as saying they could physically touch its fruit and eat it. Verse 24 says that the cherubs and flaming sword were posted specifically to prevent Adam and Eve from accessing the tree of life."
"But the Watchtower says it wasn't a real tree."
"I understand that, but look at what those verses say."
"I DON'T CARE WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS! I CARE WHAT THE WATCHTOWER SAYS!!"
I couldn't believe it. Everyone just looked at each other and it got really quiet. The elder realized he'd just yelled at this pioneer and how crazy he sounded. So he followed it up with this gem...
"Sorry, all I meant was that we need to trust what's in the Watchtower. Even if the actual Bible verses seem to say something different, we need to trust the Slave, otherwise run the risk of apostate thinking."