jukief

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Posts by jukief

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  27

  I'm sick of this boring life!!

  by Nicolas in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm really tired of always having to fight.

  i don't have any friends in this world and i don't want to return to the evil watchtower.

  it seem to me that everyone else around have fun and enjoy the life while, i still don't know what to i do with my life.

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  jukief

  Nick, I think people here have made some excellent suggestions. As someone who has suffered from several severe attacks of clinical depression, I strongly urge you to get help. Depression goes through cycles, just like other illnesses. If you're feeling worse than usual, it's appropriate to go back to therapy. (I've gone back several times over the years.) Also, have you ever been on an antidepressant? I really believe that antidepressants have saved my life. And if you have any kind of social disorder, the meds should help that, too. Talk to your doctor about it.

  I also think the suggestion of volunteer work is a good one. I know from experience that when I'm down in the dumps I tend to focus on myself too much. Going out and doing something for other people really helps you to see outside your own limited circle. It's also a great way to meet people with whom you might have a lot in common.

  I made most of my post-JW friends when I was in college. It took a while, because when I started I was a 31-year-old freshman, and most of the people in my classes were 18 year olds. But I persevered and went out of my way to befriend older students in my classes. That was 16 years ago, and almost of all of those friendships have endured to this day. I've also made a lot of friends at my various jobs. As a JW, I was shy and retiring and socially inept. I found I had to make a real effort to overcome those tendencies. I'm a different person now--outspoken and extroverted. If you work hard at it, you can change this aspect of your personality. Heck, I went from being a teenaged girl who was afraid to talk to boys to an outrageous flirt! If I could make the transition, anyone can!

  It takes time to adjust your attitude about "worldly" people. But in time you'll find that there are a lot of exceptional, lovely people out there and that they're much better friends than any JWs you've ever known. Give them a chance, and reach out to people. You have nothing to lose by doing so.

  Good luck.

  Julie
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  36

  10 years since My Exit - The Introduction

  by Amazing in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my exit introduction .

  over the next few weeks or months, i will post an accounting of my exit process in a series of 15 short stories.

  it will be part of my permanent notes that may someday be incorporated in a book likely a private book for my children and grandchildren.

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  jukief

  Eric, I know Amazing personally and my husband has known him for a long time. I can assure you he doesn't have an "amazingly bloated ego." I don't know where you get off making such absurd comments. You really should think before you open your mouth.

  Amazing, I'm very much looking forward to your posts. I don't read this board very often (because of immature and rude behavior like Eric's), but these types of personal experience are extremely useful and interesting. My parents are suffering through the experience of sitting on the fence, so to speak, so they won't end up losing their JW children. They've been criticized for their position, and the situation is making their "golden" years very painful for them. I'm sure that they'll find your experiences helpful; they may even get some pointers for how to deal with my JW siblings (especially my Nazi-elder brother). Thanks so much for going to all the work to write it down.

  Julie
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  20

  The Merry Widows/Widowers of Dubdum

  by Room 215 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi all,.

  maybe this is a local phenomenon, but does it aver occur to you that jws whose mate dies often remarry in what society in general regards as an ``unseemly'' short time after the death of their spouses?

  i guess the most prominent example of this is audrey knorr, who tied the knot a second time not long after ``pappy'' knorr was interred in 1977.. just wondering.

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  jukief

  I think JW men tend to remarry a lot more quickly than JW women. There are probably several reasons for this. For one thing, the widowed, single, or divorced women far outnumber the available men, and in my experience, as soon as *any* man is available (for whatever reason), he has a line of women a mile long after him. I also think that men have a more difficult time being alone than women. Women are a lot more independent, but JW men, especially, rarely do anything around the house; they don't know how to cook or take care of themselves. I think they often want a new wife just for that reason.

  My parents have been married for 51 years and have a very close, happy marriage. But I know that if my mom dies first, my dad will probably remarry pretty quickly. Not because he doesn't dearly love my mom, but because he is one of those men who wouldn't know how to deal with cooking and housework, and because he suffers from serious depression; I don't think he could handle the lonliness. If this happens, I know I'll have trouble accepting another woman in his life, but I hope I can do so with grace. On the other hand, if my dad dies first, I doubt my mother would ever remarry. My grandmother was a widow for 40-some years; she never remarried, even though she was only in her 40s when her husband died. And she had her chances. :-)
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  13

  I need a copy of CofC

  by SexyTeen in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i went to my local library and they did not have a copy.

  is there a copy up on the web somewhere?

  i'm sure somebody has to have it, almost anything can be found on the web nowadays.. buying it is out of the question, i live with my parents.. i appreciate any help given.

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  jukief

  Or perhaps you can get it from another library through Interlibrary Loan.
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  83

  no blood cards this year!

  by DIM in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  last night at meeting they told us to just use our blood cards from last year.

  in the past they've always told us how important it was to get it signed every year so that people could see our current views as jw's.....doesn't this new arangement negate everything they've ever said in regards to this?

  absolutely nuts!.

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  jukief

  I don't think it's a secret. I didn't post any details because I wasn't listening too closely when Alan told me about it last night, and I don't want to get anything wrong. I'm sure Lee or Alan or someone else who has the facts straight will post something soon.
• 
  83

  no blood cards this year!

  by DIM in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  last night at meeting they told us to just use our blood cards from last year.

  in the past they've always told us how important it was to get it signed every year so that people could see our current views as jw's.....doesn't this new arangement negate everything they've ever said in regards to this?

  absolutely nuts!.

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  jukief

  I won't steal your thunder, Lee, but you're right. Alan actually went to the meeting Thursday night to hear how they'd make the announcement. He taped it, too. Poor guy, he had to suffer through a two-hour meeting, but he made it up for it by having fun after the meeting asking lots of questions about the blood doctrine. :-)
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  22

  Working from Home - Ideas?

  by YoYoMama in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am looking to work from home.

  do any here have any ideas of how i can get into this?

  i've thought about the medical transcripts, but don't know who to contact.

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  jukief

  A lot more employers are encouraging telecommuting these days. I work as an editor for a publishing house, and I work at home 70% of the time. If I wanted, I could work at home full time, but I like having some interraction with people, so I go in three mornings a week for four hours each time.
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  33

  fading away quietly

  by DIM in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife and i are moving 3000 miles away so that we can fade away as jehovah's witnesses.

  i am looking for suggestions as to what i should do about our publisher record cards (keep them in pa?, get them forwarded to seattle?

  ) so that we can start our lives on the west coast with a fresh start and so we'll just be left alone...any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

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  jukief

  I asked to meet with the elders, and then I informed them that 1) I was leaving my husband, 2) I would no longer be attending meetings, and 3) I was moving to another city to attend college. They didn't do anything to me, and my publisher's record card was never mentioned. That was 17 years ago. I'd recommend that you move and don't tell anyone in your congregation that you're leaving.

  You'll love Seattle. We lived in Portland, and my sister lived in Seattle. I've lived in the northeast, too, and I can tell you you're making a great move. Good luck.
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  4

  Need info: the JW video

  by larc in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am in email contact with a woman who has two jws calling on her.

  i have given her information about the religion and questions she might ask them.

  tomorrow, they want to show her the jw video.

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  jukief

  The video reminds me of those half-hour infomercials on TV. :-)
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  25

  Shunning is worse than the worst crime possible

  by Richie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have come to the conclusion that the shunning practices of the jw's are in fact worse than the worst crime committed.

  just imagine, your own daughter shunning you, not wanting to see me or her first son (my grandson).

  whenever i walk around in the village i live and i happen to encounter jw's, they don't even acknowledge that i exist at all!!.

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  jukief

  Richie and HappyHeathen,

  Did you know that the elder's manual says that people can't be disfellowshipped for associating with disfellowshipped family members? Even the society's PR web site says that disfellowshipping doesn't cut family ties.

  We've had a couple of instances in my home town where the elders tried to hassle people who were associating with DFed family members. In one case, the son who was associating with his disassociated father wrote the society a letter, and they replied that it was pretty much up to him whether he wanted to associate or not (although it was clear they didn't think it was a good idea). I called this fellow the other night, and he's sending me a copy of the letter. He said several people have used to keep elders off their backs. When I get the letter, I'll post a copy of it to this board.

  It's obvious that some JWs takes thing above and beyond even what the evil WTS masters say to do.

  Julie