Posts by jurs

46

HELP!! SHE IS TRYING TO GET TO MY SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Jesika in

jw
friends

i just got off the phone with my x-hubby.

his mother is sueing us for visitation of our son!!!!!!!!!

let me explain why we don't let her see him......................................

jurs

Jesika,

Sorry to hear of your troubles. I can imagine how upset you must be. Here's my advice for all its worth.

I wouldn't fight it. Here's why. When I was a kid I never had a relationship with my grandparents. My mother didn't get a long with them. As an adult I looked them up and reestablished a relationship with my grandmother. Unfortunately she died shortly afterwards and my grandfather had died before I made contact. I felt like I missed out on knowing and being loved by a grandparent.

Oddlly eneough that I give you this advice when I , myself have nothing to do with my own mother. Therefore, my 2 daughters do not have a relationship with their grandmother. The few times she has called or has sent presents or letters , I always allow that communication. My mom plays head games , lies, makes herself out to be the victim ect. ect. ect. It sounds similar to your situation. My mother is probably worse. She's downright mean to me and tries to make my kids feel sorry for her. This is how I handle it and so far its worked well. I never call her or write her or go see her. Its been a year. When she sends a letter to my kids I give it to them but don't read it myself. Why upset myself further. If she calls I'm polite but make it as brief as possible and hand the phone to my daughters so they can chat. If she wants to see the kids , fine. I just don't go over. My husband will do it for me.

I tell my daughters the truth about why I don't talk to their Grandmother. I don't think she's healthy for them to be around but for some reason they like her. Its beyond me!!! I've come to the conclusion that its between me and my mom and the kids should be left out of it.

Jes, If she does fight this and gets visitation it may not be as bad as you think. Your the Mom. You have the most influence on your childs life.

Take care

jurs

45

My First Post - OK, I'm In Now.

by TheItalian in

jw
friends

i apologize in advance for the length.

when i finally resolved myself to choose a nick, after a year and a half spent as an infamous lurker, i very likely thought to be the only one from this vaticanland interested in this weird net-place and its inhabitants.

but yesterday i found out it's not this way.

jurs

TheItalian,

WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!! I enjoyed your post. Sorry that you have to sit at the boredom hall! Isn't that the truth! Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

jurs

40

My Dad died Saturday unexpectedly...

by Nancy K in

jw
friends

hi friends, my father died saturday morning.

i want to happily say that i sent my dad a print-out of some of your key material re;org, last week and he read it all...witnesses were 'on his back' lately, and he appreciated it.

keep up the positive focus..it is so important..i wanted to write more, but i guess i'm in shock 'cause i just can't do it...thanks to all of you for your support and help with all the stuff that i've been on the board about..peace and love to all of you and your families..nk

jurs

Nancy,

I am sorry to hear about your dad passing away.

My thoughts are with you

jurs

27

Change your world...

by VeniceIT in

jw
friends

i know there are soo many new people on this board in the past year or so, and i haven't been posting a whole lot lately i've been busy with school and what not, but i did want to kind of give a bit of an update and hopefully some encouragement for those that are in the process of leaving the borg, and have left friends and family behind.

in the summer of 2000 my entire world shattered around me.

for more details you can click here.

jurs

Venice,

What an encouraging post.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas!

jurs

10

What would you do?

by Beans in

when i was a young jw i always wanted to have christmas as i always felt i was missing out!

so i convinced my presiding overseer father that we should have a day where we exchange gifts like in the spring or something.

so he thought about it and said that it would be ok and we did this and it was called present day.

jurs

What would I do? I'd go. I love getting and giving presents. When I was a JW we had I love you parties and my kids would get presents. It never was as special as birthdays or Christmas, and I knew it, but it helped me feel less guilty.

Why don't you want to go? What explanation did you give your sister? Is it because a special part of childhood (Santa , birthdays, trick or treating) was withheld from you and your angry about that? Will you be shunned or looked down upon by others and thats why you don't want to go? I hope you write back and explain why you don't want to go. Then its easier to say what I'd do in your situation.

Take care

jurs

4

Stumped and Bambuzled my Sister

by Beans in

the other night i was talking with my sister on the phone and i asked her if she had ever questioned her faith?

my heart was pumping as i wasn't sure what her reaction would be, but she was so open and spoke freely with me and even as i brought up topics about the jw's as she is one she kept listening.

i'm sure it helped that i was only using watchtower quotes as she really could not dispute as it is what the slave has provided.. interestingly as a baptized jw she still didn't seem confident that jehovah would let her into the "magic kingdom" and she mentioned that she would only hope he would let her in.

jurs

Beans,

I've read that scripture a zillion times and I never linked it to the memorial. Very thought provoking!!! I'm sure it did confuse her. I think it's encouraging that she didn't get defensive and weirded out on you. I'm glad you posted this. If any JW's would talk to me I'd like to ask them that same question about why celebrate the memorial.

jurs

33

It's 2 AM...and Im soooo sad

by LovesDubs in

jw
friends

its just not supposed to be like this.

i just put my jw husband on a plane to san fran so he can spend the entire holiday week out there, get this, dog sitting his nonjw brothers shitzus while he goes to visit family for christmas.

i told him i was going to miss him...and he replied, well "i wont miss christmas".

jurs

Lovedubs,

I'm very sorry to hear of your troubles. I have no marital advice, its not my best department. I did like mouthys post. I know its hard but your doing whats best for your kids. Your being a great mom for sticking to your decision to celebrate. Your kids will be grown and gone before you know it. You won't have any regrets for celebrating when you look back years from now. On the other hand , years from now your husband may feel guilt and sadness for what he gave up.

Take care

jurs

34

A Return to the Basics - Part I

by Farkel in

every so often we get so stuck with specifics and the latest wt scandals or doctrinal nuances that it's good to get back to the basics.

that is the purpose of this thread.

i cannot count the times that, when dubs arguments are demolished with quotes from their own literature and practices, they resort to this statement in sheer desperation: well, at least weve got the basics right.

jurs

I saw this post in a link to a thread I started last night. I thought it would make an interesting read to new ones on the board. Wanted to bring it back up to the top.

jurs

7

Shunned in the Subway

by Swan in

jw
friends

today at break i went next door to the subway sandwich shop for a refill of soda pop.

well guess who happened to be in line with a friend (presumable from her office)?

a jw i used to know because we used to work for the same agency long ago.

jurs

Scully,

I love that approach!!! I've given alot of thought to how I'd address shunning and I now make a point to say hello. They want to make us feel ashamed for leaving, I want to make them ashamed for being unchristian like. If they feel awkward for shunning........... well good, they should. Its not nice.

jurs

49

the bible making sense

by jurs in

jw
friends

before i had started studying with the jw's i had tried to read the bible.

it didn't make sense to me.

(in all honesty, i didn't try real hard nor did i put forth alot of time into my readings).

jurs

Before I had started studying with the JW's i had tried to read the bible. It didn't make sense to me. (In all honesty, I didn't try real hard nor did I put forth alot of time into my readings). Then I start studying and WOW now it all makes sense.

I heard the same experience I had, by other brothers and sisters. It was just added "proof" that this was the "truth".

Funny how years later I read these scriptures that didn't make sense, then made sense, then made sense but in a different way.

I think about certain scriptures that JW's use over and over and now some of those scriptures make the org look so bad but I just never saw it. For example , the story of the prodigal son. how he came back after leading a lifestyle that was not approved of by God nor his father and yet was welcomed back with open arms. He didn't have to be shunned for a certain amount of time until a group of men decided it was ok to talk to him. He was shown Love and mercy. This was a powerful eye awakener for me. Never did I see this bible account in this way when I was a JW.

That is just one of many scripures or biblical accounts that I now "understand" but its definately not the same understanding I had as a JW.

I thought only JW's could understand the bible. It was a shock to me that I didn't understand as much as I thought I did.

Have you all felt that same shock of not understanding what you thought you understood perfectly.

jurs